I woke up today shitting blood.

[guest]

This is it. This is how I go. This is what I get for abusing strangers on the internet. I asked for this.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Hopefully it’s blood on your stool and not in your stool meaning it came from your asshole and not your intestines. I’d go to a doctor ASAP brotherman.

 

[Cuphead]

Well that isn't good

 

[RobertMewler]

Good luck, bro.

 

[guest]

Hopefully it’s blood on your stool and not in your stool meaning it came from your asshole and not your intestines. I’d go to a doctor ASAP brotherman.

It was bright red so I’m assuming it’s from the massive collage of hemorrhoids resting in my anus. Still though, blood in my shit - that’s a scary sight. Makes me almost wanna repent and not mess with Joe or Patrick.

 

[JamesJCrowe]

I was just thinking it's been a while since I've had a bloody shit. Eating vegetables has helped.

 

[Ant_It_Fun]

If you see actual blood, that means you probably have a fissure or something of the like.

If you were bleeding internally, your dump would be black.

 

[DominusOdium]

Just don't leave your ATM card out when you die.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

If you see actual blood, that means you probably have a fissure or something of the like.

If you were bleeding internally, your dump would be black.

I had a fissure and it was the worst pain of my life. Every shit felt like I was passing hellfire and brimstone.

 

[guest]

Hear me out: don't look at your shit you deranged fetishists.

 

[aRTie02150]

Just don't leave your ATM card out when you die.

Or cash.

 

[Harry Powell]

Bright red blood on the outside of your shit is fine, healthy even. You just don’t want big black blood clots in there. You’re fine faggot. Put a little Vaseline on your asshole and get to work.

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

I once had a shit and the toilet water was red. I was in a panic, I wiped and the paper was red.

Then a few moments later I remembered I had tried a large piece of red velvet cake the afternoon before. It turns out it was the food coloring from the cake that was passing through my intestines and exiting. That was the first, and last, time I ever had red velvet cake.

 

[Toast]

Don't wipe so hard.

 

[Not bad]

It was bright red so I’m assuming it’s from the massive collage of hemorrhoids resting in my anus. Still though, blood in my shit - that’s a scary sight. Makes me almost wanna repent and not mess with Joe or Patrick.

I feel you brothaman. I've had brown piss several times the past few weeks, but I'm too lazy to get a check up.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

#Ruizing

 

[Consensual Rapist]

Just don't leave your ATM card out when you die.

Better yet, give it to me.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I once had a shit and the toilet water was red. I was in a panic, I wiped and the paper was red.

Then a few moments later I remembered I had tried a large piece of red velvet cake the afternoon before. It turns out it was the food coloring from the cake that was passing through my intestines and exiting. That was the first, and last, time I ever had red velvet cake.

Similar experience, but with a terrifying jet-black log. Just before picking up the phone to call an oncologist, I remembered that I'd eaten an entire package of Oreos the night before. I felt like quite the silly goose.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Where did you wake up that you were already shitting?

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Stop having anal sex