I want a nigger wife

[CumiaPoodle]

The only woman I ever considered marrying and almost did was a mulatto. She was the most laid back and least cunty chick I've ever met.

The current one is Scottish and a fucking lunatic. I've never been punched in the head by one person more in my life. Like where normal girls would cry, this one just starts swinging. She's also pulled a knife and a scalpel (that she just happened to have in her purse) on me for no real good reason. She's a lawyer lol. I hate her. Either she's going to end up killing me and getting away with it or I will end up accidentally killing her when I finally uncork and punch her head off her fucking neck and I will NOT get away with it.

Dude I know you’ve been having issues with her for a while. Why don’t you just bounce man? Dude I got punched soooo many times by this one woman I really couldn’t count. Black eyes and al that shit. She heated up a giant steak knife and put it on my arm my skin lifted up like pizza cheese.

The best thing I ever did was leave her bro. I was going to end up killing her. Towards the end I started choking the fuck out of her when she would start punching me. And it became more satisfying each time. The last time I did I was dead set on killing her.

Not when I initially started choking her but 5 seconds in, I completely lost myself and my body wanted to see her soul removed.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Do you mind one with a cock? Dan allows anyone to plow his husband.

I mind more having to suck a cock that’s been up his target manager voice having asshole than I do the actual cock.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Dude I know you’ve been having issues with her for a while. Why don’t you just bounce man? Dude I got punched soooo many times by this one woman I really couldn’t count. Black eyes and al that shit. She heated up a giant steak knife and put it on my arm my skin lifted up like pizza cheese.

The best thing I ever did was leave her bro. I was going to end up killing her. Towards the end I started choking the fuck out of her when she would start punching me. And it became more satisfying each time. The last time I did I was dead set on killing her.

Not when I initially started choking her but 5 seconds in, I completely lost myself and my body wanted to see her soul removed.

Part of it is that we have phenomenal sex together. A bigger part of it is that I don't call the cops and she knows that, so when I have told her I'm done, she shows up at my house in the middle of the night fucking with shit until I come outside and then she turns on me. I also genuinely don't want to hurt her, which she knows too. So I'll end up being like "okay, I love you, come inside" just to stop the crazy shit.

I've only physically defended myself at all twice. When she did the scalpel thing, she was standing in a doorway of the smallest room in my house with the scalpel not letting me out and I kept telling her I was going to have to hit her if she didn't fuck off. I ended up just picking her up by the throat and throwing her and somehow nobody got cut.

The other time, I'd just dodged 2 Olde English bottles she full on threw at my head as I was basically running to my truck to get away from her house. She started swinging while I was unlocking it and I just chicken-winged her arm behind her back and she instantly started screaming "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! HELP!" like she was being killed. If anyone saw that, no matter if she's punching me or throwing shit at me, they're now seeing a big dude crank some chick's arm behind her back up against a truck while she's screaming for help. It looks worse on me no matter how fucked the whole situation is.

She's also said she thinks because I just eat the shots and don't even try to dodge them sometimes that nothing hurts me. I've been hit by other women and actually barely felt it. This one's fuck-up father was a pro boxer. She throws proper punches. I feel it lol.

I'll say, that hot knife thing is probably more fucked up than anything a woman has done to me though. That's fucking calculated.

 

[captain_kamala]

Part of it is that we have phenomenal sex together. A bigger part of it is that I don't call the cops and she knows that, so when I have told her I'm done, she shows up at my house in the middle of the night fucking with shit until I come outside and then she turns on me. I also genuinely don't want to hurt her, which she knows too. So I'll end up being like "okay, I love you, come inside" just to stop the crazy shit.

I've only physically defended myself at all twice. When she did the scalpel thing, she was standing in a doorway of the smallest room in my house with the scalpel not letting me out and I kept telling her I was going to have to hit her if she didn't fuck off. I ended up just picking her up by the throat and throwing her and somehow nobody got cut.

The other time, I'd just dodged 2 Olde English bottles she full on threw at my head as I was basically running to my truck to get away from her house. She started swinging while I was unlocking it and I just chicken-winged her arm behind her back and she instantly started screaming "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! HELP!" like she was being killed. If anyone saw that, no matter if she's punching me or throwing shit at me, they're now seeing a big dude crank some chick's arm behind her back up against a truck while she's screaming for help. It looks worse on me no matter how fucked the whole situation is.

She's also said she thinks because I just eat the shots and don't even try to dodge them sometimes that nothing hurts me. I've been hit by other women and actually barely felt it. This one's fuck-up father was a pro boxer. She throws proper punches. I feel it lol.

I'll say, that hot knife thing is probably more fucked up than anything a woman has done to me though. That's fucking calculated.

that sounds like my ideal relationship

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

that sounds like my ideal relationship

I legit love you more than her. I'm gonna drop that on her when we're fighting some time and she'll be super confused.

 

[captain_kamala]

I legit love you more than her. I'm gonna drop that on her when we're fighting some time and she'll be super confused.

what's up with your avatar dude that's super disturbing

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

what's up with your avatar dude that's super disturbing

It's a totally real picture of me receiving an academy award for my role as Otis in Good Burger.