MY IMMIGRATION POLICY
Wherever I'm born, I stay, that's my rule of thumb. I don't try to go anywhere else. I'm happy where I am. The problem is, nobody else feels the same. Take the Mexicans. They're nice people. I got nothing against Mexicans, but if they're Mexicans, they should be in Mexico. And the ones that come here are so angry. Of course, I'd be confused and angry, too, if I had dark skin and "white people's hair. Speaking of hair, how do you like those Hispanic chicks who dye their hair blond? That's an attractive look. No wonder some Spanish guys are ready to rape any white woman who comes along.
Look, if it was up to me I would open the world's borders to everyone so they could go anywhere. The only problem is that the United States is the only good country in the world. I don't see the Japanese opening their borders. The Germans try to rout anyone else out. Even Australia, a nation of criminals, keeps immigrants out. We take everybody's trash. We used to have an immigration policy in this country. During WWII a boat of nine hundred Jews tried to get into this country and we turned them away. Now no one's turned away. We used to get lawyers and professors coming here, fleeing intolerance. We got German rocket scientists, the crème de la crème. Now we get guys who aren't fit to be janitors.We're bankrupt because it costs a fortune to assimilate all these immigrants. We're spending a fortune on social programs for people who come here with no skills, no jobs, and nothing to do. They have to be put on welfare. And we have to hire special bilingual teachers.Then they want signs in Spanish. Excuse me, this is America. We speak English here.
Howard Stern - private parts pg206-207