Hildy is 14 years older than his wife

[Stent]

And the party was immeasurably improved with the loss of both of them. That dog is a hero.

 

[guest]

What a shitty story to one day share with their...not grandkids, because I guess she's barren at this point, but some child they kidnap one day in the future.

 

[MonsterSteve]

I bet the pre oozes out of the side of his tighty whiteys every time he thinks about how he was 24 years old and she was 10.

"Neither of us really cared". Oh, I'm sure he didn't care one bit. She could have been 3 years old, he wouldn't have cared either.

I also like how she adds he took care of her all night because we all know he had nothing better to do. He probably snuck into her panty drawer and sniffed each pair in the back where the asshole would be.

 

[Dog Eater]

“load up on half price Halloween candy.”

Don’t you think she’s had enough candy @NormsGhost ?

 

[Saddam Hussein]

He’s 52 and still in his edgy atheist phase lmao

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He’s 52 and still in his edgy atheist phase lmao

He also wears fedoras with t-shirts. He’s 52 and still in that awkward dorky teenager phase and not sure how to properly dress himself.

 

[Rudderman]

Are we sure she's not 66

 

[soulbrotherman#1]

So her dog butt ugly face got too close to a dog and it got offended that a dog was shoving it's ass in its face

 

[DominusOdium]

Eric Hildeman's wife asked him on their first date if he was a pedophile. He said "Hey that's a pretty big word for a 9 year old."

 

[Guest]

Damn. I really tried to bring Hildy into the fold. He could have pulled a @Martin , it would have been so simple. Denounce the pedos, talk some shit, review some movies in Off Topic, but I fear he’s too far gone down this path now.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Nice bloodstained wedding dress. The absolute state of these creatures. Over/under on the back of it having skidmarks?

 

[Saddam Hussein]

View attachment 160464
View attachment 160465
Nice bloodstained wedding dress. The absolute state of these creatures. Over/under on the back of it having skidmarks?

Who wears a white dress anywhere besides their wedding? You’re asking to get it ruined, especially at a parter where people are presumably binge drinking

 

[EraGodless]

The dog thought he saw a pitbull and tried to fight the fugly bitch

Tbf, she looks older than he does. I'm still shocked that she graduated HS in the 2000's. I was thinking more like late 80's.

 

[bantadant]

"Hurling" in this case means spraying diarrhea

 

[Stent]

At least she's got lots of experience with shitting herself for when Hildy is old enough to lose control of his bowels.

I'm thinking of trapping a younger woman into marriage. I'd ask Hildy for advice but he'd probably not realize I meant an adult.

 

[Guest]

At least she's got lots of experience with shitting herself for when Hildy is old enough to lose control of his bowels.

I'm thinking of trapping a younger woman into marriage. I'd ask Hildy for advice but he'd probably not realize I meant an adult.

Im working on doing that too. Pls let me know how it goes for you

 

[Stent]

Im working on doing that too. Pls let me know how it goes for you

It's different for us! We'll make it work!

Spoiler alert: It won't.

 

[kingship75]

It's different for us! We'll make it work!

Spoiler alert: It won't.

Not with that attitude.

 

[Stent]

Not with that attitude.

Maybe I can get to the point her father offers me $50k to leave her. SOLD! Cash only plz.