Hilariously odd scenarios that you've put yourself into?

[aRTie02150]

Well? I know there are a few funny stories to be shared.

This one is more recent, but I met with some girl I used to fuck around with about 10 years ago and I've known her since High School.

She has a kid with another old friend who I grew up with and also went to HS with.

He's unaware that I fucked her, and he's definitely unaware she's been sending me nudes for several years now. She talked me into visiting her, we hooked up, and the next day she wants to show me around town. This is with her kid present. He's about 8 years old. I casually tell the kid "yeah I've known your mom for a long time. Since we were kids!" He says "woah, do you know my Dad too?" and she says "oh God" before I answer and we both giggled.

I'm sure that kid will remember that conversation in a few years when he realizes how much of a slam pig his mom is.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I let my brother fuck my girlfriends daughter without beating the ever living fuck out of him. I also, one time, accidentally invited a pedophile over to my slightly retarded friends house. Pretty hilarious.

 

[sShenaniganz]

I fucked the mom of my friend's girlfriend back when I was in college. She and her husband also happened to be friends with my parents and would hang out with them occasionally which made things very awkward.

My buddies and I went to a sports bar to watch some UFC fight and she happened to be there with her husband. Of course she sees us and eventually comes over to talk with us. I was fucking livid because at the end of the night they both come over and I have to shake hands with and talk to her husband.

They ended up paying off our tab for us lol.
She's a mentally ill alcohol and I'm a fucking degenerate.

 

[EraGodless]

Getting arrested by the Mexican federales and thrown in the back of their pickup truck with a bunch of trannies/transveatites-- one of them asked me if I, "like to party?"

 

[EraGodless]

Well? I know there are a few funny stories to be shared.

This one is more recent, but I met with some girl I used to fuck around with about 10 years ago and I've known her since High School.

She has a kid with another old friend who I grew up with and also went to HS with.

He's unaware that I fucked her, and he's definitely unaware she's been sending me nudes for several years now. She talked me into visiting her, we hooked up, and the next day she wants to show me around town. This is with her kid present. He's about 8 years old. I casually tell the kid "yeah I've known your mom for a long time. Since we were kids!" He says "woah, do you know my Dad too?" and she says "oh God" before I answer and we both giggled.

I'm sure that kid will remember that conversation in a few years when he realizes how much of a slam pig his mom is.

 

[Dennyislife]

I was in a relationship with my dead ex girlfriends sister. That was a period I don't feel proud about. She was as crazy as her sister who was my first serious girlfriend.

She's dead now too.

 

[potatopeeler63]

I went into the ghetto (not quite pure favela) in brazil during one trip to look for some weed and coke. a few blocks in a car pulls up, a 6'2 black brazilian walks out, has a desert eagle looking thing in his front waistband, gets 2 feet from my face, and goes "vc sabe em cual barrio vc ta agora mano?" (do you know what neighborhood you're in right now?) At this point i feel like vomiting as i've seen many live leak videos, i just tell him my girlfriend is from a neighborhood nearby and im lost, he doesnt say anything and just gets back in the car with like 3 other shitskin brazilians and drives away.

I walk jog back the way i came and flag a cab the fuck out of there.

Then i was fiening that night, went on grindr and posted "not gay looking for coke". met up with this giant flamer faggot twink covered in tattoos a couple blocks away from my hotel and bought an eighth of blow for 20 usd equivalent. he made me try it with him and was actually a nice guy.
and i didnt even need to wear short shorts like vos

 

[Guyincognito]

In my old dorm, there was a bunch of hot girls chilling outside the elevator chatting. I thought it’d be funny to rip a giant, putrid fish taco fart just as the door closed so they’d definitely hear it and know it was me. Much to my chagrin, they must’ve just pressed the button or something bc the door reopens and they all pile in. The smell was so bad it stopped their conversation. I had to ride that awkwardness for 9 floors

 

[guest]

I used to be friends with this guy who was friends with these guys in a band who ended up getting pretty famous in the 90s. I ended up helping him with some stuff on their website and shit like that and so he would get me on the guest list for their shows pretty often. One time I went to AC to go to a show and hang out and I ended up at the Hard Rock Cafe at the Trump casino doing tequila shots with the keyboard player and Dennis Fucking Rodman. That shit was crazy, he’s an awesome dude.

 

[analeggsalad]

I keep saying "Baaby child!" "Little infant child!" and "Nnnnnnnnnnno Child!" IRL while making sustained eye contact with strangers

 

[DiarrheaDick]

When I was still into drugs, I'd hang out with this dude who basically used to just feed me crack and dope so I would drive him around to help him do his shit which was mostly selling drugs and scamming people. The dude was in a horrific car accident like 10 years prior and had 2nd and 3rd degree burns to 80% of his body. He was missing an eye, nose, both ears, a hand, and his other hand had only like three or four fingers if I remember correctly. I thought he was a weirdo dressing as Freddy Krueger the first time I met him. Any scenario out in public was odd because people who didn't know him were visibly shaken by what they were looking at and dealing with. I remember we were at a supermarket at like 3:00 in the morning once and he saw a dude in the bakery with a garbage bag full of bread, bagels, and muffins and stuff he was going to put in the garbage. Krueger asked if he could have them since they were just throwing them out and the poor guy in the bakery turned white, kept huge distance while handing the bag over, mouth agape, and not saying a single word. People would comically scatter away from him like when Marilyn from The Munsters would bring dudes over.

 

[Snake]

I was driving home in my mustang with my young girlfriend, when she started Periscoping our conversation and questioned me about my prostate massaging egg. Boy, was I red in the face.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I sharted my pants pretty bad at a college party and this girl was there that I had been getting with for a while. She sucked my dick without even noticing there was a ball of shit in my ass crack

 

[alkiefuck2]

empty house at my pals, i had two utter munters ask which one i'd prefer to fuck, "tehe, i can't choose" knowing full well i don't want either, lasted for at least a minute which might not sound a lot but it was torture
i know any holes a goal but there's a line

 

[Will Tate]

I got named in a lawsuit for asking legitimate questions about the sexual proclivities of a fat failure from Wisconsin who likes to counter-protest against anti-pedophilia demonstrators.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I got named in a lawsuit for asking legitimate questions about the sexual proclivities of a fat failure from Wisconsin who likes to counter-protest against anti-pedophilia demonstrators.

You're worse than Hitler.

 

[Will Tate]

You're worse than Hitler.

Aww, that's very kind of you to say, thank you.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Aww, that's very kind of you to say, thank you.

Lol I forgot what website I'm on. 6 million apologies.

 

[guest]

OP that story reminds me of the funniest thing I ever did. Excuse spelling mistakes, fawkin zooted. It sounds sort of daytime soap operay at first but bear with it.

2016, one of my friends, we will call him bob was in love with this girl, stacey. He had crushed on stacey for years and was finally dating her. He would tell me all thr time about how shes perfect, hes gonna buy her thr biggest wedding ring etc.

Stacey dumped him. I remember the day bob called me literally crying over it.

Anyway, his rebound was a chick named lisa. Lisa was in looove with him, but bob just saw her as a way to make stacey jealous. He was going on a trip overseas with lisa, and told me his plan was to take photos of them in all these places around the world so stacey would see them on social media and get jealous etc.

Meanwhile, stacey fucked this other guy after breaking up, we will name josiah. Bob HATED josiah. If Bob ever found out josiah fucked the love of his life, he would snap. He would go crazy. So everyone had to keep it secret lol.

Me and Bob had a falling out. He had quit thr job we worked at together, and owed me money and never paid. That was it between us. He screwed over my other friend who workes there too, so a few of us hated him.

Anyway, I went on facebook and he had just uploaded a photo of him and lisa at the airport departures. "Off to France!"

I left a comment. 3 words: "josiah fucked stacey".

He had deleted the comment and I was deleted as a friend, as were all my/our friends. I could only imagine what that plane ride was like for him. He would be fuming but couldnt show it, because lisa would wonder why he cared about his ex if she was with him now. His vacation would be ruined.

 

[Mr. Faggotry]

The majority of my spent time on the internet is on a message board based around a now defunct radio show that might have eclipsed Bob and Tom popularity for a week in 2001. I easily listen to at least two hours a day of old episodes of that show, even though one host is constantly screaming “HOLDONHOLDONHOLDONHOLDON” while the other cant stop talking about niggers.