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Happy monday from paul weimer
- Thread starter captain_kamala
- Start date
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- 24,111
He wouldn't have made it to 20 before a mob beat him to death for staring at a little kid for too long.
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- 63,794
Lol. This is an adult man. What a wiener.
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- 17,707
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You don't have to die alone, paul. Swallow a bottle of Tylenol and I'll gladly sit by your bedside holding your hand and stroking your head while it does its work.
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- 254,321
Jesus Christ he lives for this kind of pity.
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GOOOOD DAMN IT. Why is he such a fucking soggy wiener!? Stop it!
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- 82,449
The wolves wouldn’t have eaten him to avoid catching whatever faggot he has. Paul can’t even die correctly. If it weren’t Paul, we’d find out the woman who got engaged and send her a congratulations from OnA. Paul can’t even motivate the trolls correctly.
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Gee, it’s a real mystery why women want nothing to do Paul!
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- 26,505
Why can’t this insect be happy for others? He must be a real killjoy at work. I bet they all hate him.Maybe if he stopped making everything about himself he would be relationship material. Or just move to a country where child marriage is legal.
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I bet they know to try and say as little as possible to him to avoid getting stuck in a Paul pity party. Even something as common and innocent as “Hey Paul, how are you?” turns into SIGHHHHH “well, just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse…”
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We all wonder why, too, coward.
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Oh, it's possible she knows. Maybe she laid it on extra thick for Uncle Pauly over here.
"Gosh, Paul, it's just so great to be loved. And to know I'm accepted for exactly who I am, and that I'll be taken care of in sickness and we'll grow old together. And soon we'll have a house full of loving children. What more could a person ask for, am I right?"
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These poor me tweets need to be archived and sent to his coworkers by our Reddit friends. I’ll check if they’re available later today.
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I wanna see the Paul movie.
"The story of a man who feels happy only when he is unhappy, a man addicted to sadness, who has such need for pity, he's willing to do everything to evoke it from others. This is the life of a man in a world not cruel enough for him."
"The story of a man who feels happy only when he is unhappy, a man addicted to sadness, who has such need for pity, he's willing to do everything to evoke it from others. This is the life of a man in a world not cruel enough for him."
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I imagine him more like a Milton from office space where if he isn't being ignored then he's being screwed over without a second thought while he mumbles to himself. It's not even a malicious thing, he's just a non-entity.
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You could always go the 90 Day Fiancé route and get a mail order bride. Leverage that sweet American citizenship and rescue some Brazilian from the favela. But you won't, because you're a pedophile and the Justice Department doesn't like child trafficking.
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"Someone seems to have taken the Swingline dildo and ball gag off my desk."
