Funny being fired stories

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

One time I didn’t show up on a Monday when I had Tuesday off so I just came in on Wednesday like nothing happened. Coworkers told me I had to call my manager but the other guy did. He told me to go home and he’d call me tomorrow but he didn’t. Kind of a fitting way to fire me. I also once got fired for pretending to have Covid because I was hungover and didn’t want to work at 6:30am. I would put in 4 days per week and do more work than those who worked all 5 days. I have a much better paying and more stable job now. Alls well that ends well.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Smoothie King- Was at a country music concert/tailgate when this dude called and said “Are you coming in?!” Forgot I had work that night. Just never went back

Produce warehouse job- Whenever I hit the end of my shift, I would drop my clipboard and leave my pallet jack wherever I happened to be with a half finished order. Apparently that was way uncool. One day they had this big enforcer looking dude put his hand on my neck, walk me to my car and tell me to never come back

Barbacking in the citaay- Was a godawful worker. Instead of working I would try to hit on girls at the bar (poorly) One time I tapped a keg incorrectly and it started exploding everywhere. Other barback ran into the keg room to help me and we were literally slipping and falling over each other trying to stop it like a 3 Stooges skit. They stopped scheduling me because I just sucked that bad.

Irish bar in the citaay- Same thing pretty much. Everyone else working while I talked to girls and poured myself beers (was at least actually getting laid at this point) But they honestly motherfucked me. I told them multiple times that I couldnt be working 4 nights a week with final exams coming up and every week Id check the schedule and nothing changed. Said fuck it Im not going in and they called and fired me.

I feel like Im forgetting one, but until recently in my life I was really in Lala land. Im a full blown lad now

 

[guest]

I had a construction job when I was 18 and the celtics were in the finals so I was drinking for every game. Blacked out and woke up at noon, came to work told them it won't happen again. Did the same exact shit the next day and they told me just go home.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I worked in the kitchen at a Texas Roadhouse many years ago and our owner/manager was a retarded local business owner who had never owned a restaurant before but thought he knew everything. The ribs were supposed to slow cook overnight but 2 nights in a row he overcooked them to the point that they were inedible. I was forced to work a 13 hour shift to fix his fuck up so the restaurant would have ribs prepped for dinner shift. When it happened a third time a week later (his fault again) I said fuck this and walked out at the end of my normal shift and left him to deal with the fallout. I came in the next morning and he gave me a very stern lecture like I had fucked up big time for not staying late. When he was done he very presumptuously told me to get back in the kitchen and get more ribs prepped or I was fired. I seasoned them loaded them up in the trays and threw them in the oven on a very high temp, took off my apron and walked past him out the door. My gf at the time who was working there as a waitress said he was fuming mad when he found out I’d torched then on purpose. Faggot.

Edit: just realized this isn’t really a being fired story but fuck it close enough

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

H

I worked in the kitchen at a Texas Roadhouse many years ago and our owner/manager was a retarded local business owner who had never owned a restaurant before but thought he knew everything. The ribs were supposed to slow cook overnight but 2 nights in a row he overcooked them to the point that they were inedible. I was forced to work a 13 hour shift to fix his fuck up so the restaurant would have ribs prepped for dinner shift. When it happened a third time a week later (his fault again) I said fuck this and walked out at the end of my normal shift and left him to deal with the fallout. I came in the next morning and he gave me a very stern lecture like I had fucked up big time for not staying late. When he was done he very presumptuously told me to get back in the kitchen and get more ribs prepped or I was fired. I seasoned them loaded them up in the trays and threw them in the oven on a very high temp, took off my apron and walked past him out the door. My gf at the time who was working there as a waitress said he was fuming mad when he found out I’d torched then on purpose. Faggot.

Edit: just realized this isn’t really a being fired story but fuck it close enough

Haha nice.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Smoothie King- Was at a country music concert/tailgate when this dude called and said “Are you coming in?!” Forgot I had work that night. Just never went back

Produce warehouse job- Whenever I hit the end of my shift, I would drop my clipboard and leave my pallet jack wherever I happened to be with a half finished order. Apparently that was way uncool. One day they had this big enforcer looking dude put his hand on my neck, walk me to my car and tell me to never come back

Barbacking in the citaay- Was a godawful worker. Instead of working I would try to hit on girls at the bar (poorly) One time I tapped a keg incorrectly and it started exploding everywhere. Other barback ran into the keg room to help me and we were literally slipping and falling over each other trying to stop it like a 3 Stooges skit. They stopped scheduling me because I just sucked that bad.

Irish bar in the citaay- Same thing pretty much. Everyone else working while I talked to girls and poured myself beers (was at least actually getting laid at this point) But they honestly motherfucked me. I told them multiple times that I couldnt be working 4 nights a week with final exams coming up and every week Id check the schedule and nothing changed. Said fuck it Im not going in and they called and fired me.

I feel like Im forgetting one, but until recently in my life I was really in Lala land. Im a full blown lad now

You never fail to disappoint with your stories.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Barebacking in the citaay-

That's a risky way to earn a buck, son.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Smoothie King- Was at a country music concert/tailgate when this dude called and said “Are you coming in?!” Forgot I had work that night. Just never went back

Produce warehouse job- Whenever I hit the end of my shift, I would drop my clipboard and leave my pallet jack wherever I happened to be with a half finished order. Apparently that was way uncool. One day they had this big enforcer looking dude put his hand on my neck, walk me to my car and tell me to never come back

Barbacking in the citaay- Was a godawful worker. Instead of working I would try to hit on girls at the bar (poorly) One time I tapped a keg incorrectly and it started exploding everywhere. Other barback ran into the keg room to help me and we were literally slipping and falling over each other trying to stop it like a 3 Stooges skit. They stopped scheduling me because I just sucked that bad.

Irish bar in the citaay- Same thing pretty much. Everyone else working while I talked to girls and poured myself beers (was at least actually getting laid at this point) But they honestly motherfucked me. I told them multiple times that I couldnt be working 4 nights a week with final exams coming up and every week Id check the schedule and nothing changed. Said fuck it Im not going in and they called and fired me.

I feel like Im forgetting one, but until recently in my life I was really in Lala land. Im a full blown lad now

Bar backing is the wurrrrrst. I did it for like 3 weeks when I was 19 and it was essentially like being a slave to the bartenders who always got the lions share of the tips and got to interact with the females while I was busy running around hooking up kegs clearing lines and washing pint glasses. I’ve worked some shitty jobs including dishwasher in a very busy restaurant and bar backing was probably one of the worst

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Smoothie King- Was at a country music concert/tailgate when this dude called and said “Are you coming in?!” Forgot I had work that night. Just never went back

Produce warehouse job- Whenever I hit the end of my shift, I would drop my clipboard and leave my pallet jack wherever I happened to be with a half finished order. Apparently that was way uncool. One day they had this big enforcer looking dude put his hand on my neck, walk me to my car and tell me to never come back

Barbacking in the citaay- Was a godawful worker. Instead of working I would try to hit on girls at the bar (poorly) One time I tapped a keg incorrectly and it started exploding everywhere. Other barback ran into the keg room to help me and we were literally slipping and falling over each other trying to stop it like a 3 Stooges skit. They stopped scheduling me because I just sucked that bad.

Irish bar in the citaay- Same thing pretty much. Everyone else working while I talked to girls and poured myself beers (was at least actually getting laid at this point) But they honestly motherfucked me. I told them multiple times that I couldnt be working 4 nights a week with final exams coming up and every week Id check the schedule and nothing changed. Said fuck it Im not going in and they called and fired me.

I feel like Im forgetting one, but until recently in my life I was really in Lala land. Im a full blown lad now

I mean you never disappoint with your stories. Fawk, learn how to say words, stupid.

 

[guest]

Worked in a pub once. Every few days this elderly female alkie would come in when we opened and order a few gin and tonics before going home around 3, presumably via an off-licence to go home and drink some more. It was a small place in quite a posh area so you'd get well-spoken types like her (think Patsy from AbFab but much worse) coming in and pretending they weren't sots before proving otherwise. Long story short, she shat herself one day before she could get to the toilet and was calling for help from the ladies. It was just me and the owner Adam there (it was like 11.30 a.m. on a Tuesday or something.) He told me to clean it up. There was yellow, sour smelling liquid shit all over the floor. I said fuck that. I was getting paid about £5.50 an hour, it's not happening. He told me I could do it or find another job. Laughed and walked out. He must have had to do it himself. Hope he puked, the cunt.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

I was a steward at a restaurant (basically dish washer who did kitchen bitch work) one summer in college. It blew, and the chef was a complete cunt. at the end of the summer I was studying for finals and since I was 2 terms away from graduating that was more important than this job. So when I realized I wasn't going to be able to work and put in enough study time I just wrote my manager an email "I no longer wish to be employed at (Restaurant), and therefore I resign effective immediately. Your Pal, (Name)". my coworker didn't believe me until the manager called her in to show her the email. He actually thought it was hilarious.

 

[guest]

I worked in the kitchen at a Texas Roadhouse many years ago and our owner/manager was a retarded local business owner who had never owned a restaurant before but thought he knew everything. The ribs were supposed to slow cook overnight but 2 nights in a row he overcooked them to the point that they were inedible. I was forced to work a 13 hour shift to fix his fuck up so the restaurant would have ribs prepped for dinner shift. When it happened a third time a week later (his fault again) I said fuck this and walked out at the end of my normal shift and left him to deal with the fallout. I came in the next morning and he gave me a very stern lecture like I had fucked up big time for not staying late. When he was done he very presumptuously told me to get back in the kitchen and get more ribs prepped or I was fired. I seasoned them loaded them up in the trays and threw them in the oven on a very high temp, took off my apron and walked past him out the door. My gf at the time who was working there as a waitress said he was fuming mad when he found out I’d torched then on purpose. Faggot.

Edit: just realized this isn’t really a being fired story but fuck it close enough

Somewhat similar experience, I had a BoH job when I was 15. It was a Friendly's restaurant and I did various things. I can't remember if we were short staffed or what but I would cook, do food prep, wash dishes. Sometimes on the same shift.

Anyway, I remember it was a Sunday and I was washing dishes. I can't remember if I was doing anything else that day, I just remember that a bus had come and that plus the usual Sunday traffic meant that I was in the weeds. We were running out of dishes and I couldn't keep up. The manager at the time was a young guy and he was a dick. The counter was completely full of dirty dishes and the bins from bussing the tables were starting to pile up on the floor by the counter and this motherfucking manager comes back and basically starts laughing at me being slammed with work. Doesn't offer to help, just basically starts laughing at me. I had a moment of clarity where I realized I was only 15 and this job wasn't shit so I called my mom to come pick me up. The guy came back and started laughing at me again and I said something to the effect of "The joke's on you motherfucker, I quit". Took off the apron and walked out. He started following me out asking me to leave but my ride was already there so I just got in and left. The best part of it was that we had gotten a mile down the road and I realized I left my radio/boombox (this was in the 80s) at the restaurant and I wanted it back so I had her take me back. I went walking back in and the dickhead manager was in the dish area trying to wash all the dishes. As I walked in, he turned and saw me. He smiled looked grateful and started to say something and I cut him off with "Forgot my radio". Grabbed it and left him there.

I really think everyone should experience that liberating feeling at least once in their life. Fuck that place and fuck that guy.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Somewhat similar experience, I had a BoH job when I was 15. It was a Friendly's restaurant and I did various things. I can't remember if we were short staffed or what but I would cook, do food prep, wash dishes. Sometimes on the same shift.

Anyway, I remember it was a Sunday and I was washing dishes. I can't remember if I was doing anything else that day, I just remember that a bus had come and that plus the usual Sunday traffic meant that I was in the weeds. We were running out of dishes and I couldn't keep up. The manager at the time was a young guy and he was a dick. The counter was completely full of dirty dishes and the bins from bussing the tables were starting to pile up on the floor by the counter and this motherfucking manager comes back and basically starts laughing at me being slammed with work. Doesn't offer to help, just basically starts laughing at me. I had a moment of clarity where I realized I was only 15 and this job wasn't shit so I called my mom to come pick me up. The guy came back and started laughing at me again and I said something to the effect of "The joke's on you motherfucker, I quit". Took off the apron and walked out. He started following me out asking me to leave but my ride was already there so I just got in and left. The best part of it was that we had gotten a mile down the road and I realized I left my radio/boombox (this was in the 80s) at the restaurant and I wanted it back so I had her take me back. I went walking back in and the dickhead manager was in the dish area trying to wash all the dishes. As I walked in, he turned and saw me. He smiled looked grateful and started to say something and I cut him off with "Forgot my radio". Grabbed it and left him there.

I really think everyone should experience that liberating feeling at least once in their life. Fuck that place and fuck that guy.

I only worked at a restaurant for about a year but if that happened someone would have helped me out instead of laughing at me.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I've never actually been fired. I worked midnights at a gas station that I was definitely about to be fired from for stealing, smoking weed and throwing parties in the place so I just stopped showing up. I've also had jobs where I just got sick of being there in the middle of the day so instead of giving notice like a normal person I waited until someone said something slightly annoying to me so I could spaz out like a retard and yell "FUCK THIS PLACE AND FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!" and walk out.

 

[guest]

I only worked at a restaurant for about a year but if that happened someone would have helped me out instead of laughing at me.

I don't think we had anyone extra in the BoH to help out but yeah, a good manager would pitch in and help out, even if all he did was bus tables and take clean dishes from the washer and get them out to the kitchen/wait staff but he fucking laughed at me. Who the fuck does that?

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I don't think we had anyone extra in the BoH to help out but yeah, a good manager would pitch in and help out, even if all he did was bus tables and take clean dishes from the washer and get them out to the kitchen/wait staff but he fucking laughed at me. Who the fuck does that?

They didn’t have enough plates for an entire night? To be fair, I only worked in two nice restaurants. Dishwashing is kind of whatever but every place I worked at had enough plates to at least last two hours.

 

[EraGodless]

My friend got fired for eating someone's (lunch/dinner) that was in the employee lounge's refrigerator. It was two basic ass tacos. The person bitched about someone eating his food and HR checked on the cameras and saw my buddy chowing them down. Fired him shortly thereafter-

I've never been fired. When I've had enough/bored whatever, I just walk away.

 

[bantadant]

I have never been fired on account of the fact that I'm white

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I have never been fired on account of the fact that I'm white

Never ever ever? I bet you graduated from college.

 

[Jenna]

I don't got any good ones featuring me but there's one involving a friend of mine. Bless his soul, his thing is talking to women. He's got a girlfriend now but when he was single he would just talk to girls for hours and not even make a move. One time he gave a girl a serious eating disorder where she gained over 100lbs in a couple months because they developed this deep emotional bond and then he didn't want to date her. It was like fucking Violet Beauregarde, you know her as this tiny little thing and suddenly one day she's a marshmallow.

Anyway we're working at this job, do your shift take your break, and during his break he'd call girls until his next shift. Doing this REALLY pissed off one of the managers. But this manager wasn't really needed, everything was running just fine without him. So the manager would spend literally 90% of his shift on the phone, talking to god knows who. Bark an order at you in the morning to remind you he's your superior then you wouldn't speak to him the rest of the day.

So one day, plenty of customers around, my friend's on break on the phone and the manager snaps at him. I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO NOT BE ON YOUR PHONE IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN IM GOING TO OFFICIALLY WRITE YOU UP. My buddy explodes back in rage ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY! I AT LEAST WORK YOU'RE GETTING PAID TO DO NOTHING! The manager backpedals and says those are all business calls and not personal. They send my buddy home.

Next day is my day off, my buddy goes into work and of course all the big managers call him into a meeting and fire him. But he goes absolutely scorched earth on the one manager about how useless he is and blah blah blah. Calls me up around 10am waking me up with "Hey Jenna I just got fired, wanna get day drunk?" So we get shitfaced, work calls and says they need him to clear out his locker by the end of the day or everything will be thrown out, now I'm shitfaced at 2-3pm going to my job with the guy they just fired. Everyone's nudging me for details and gossip and I'm just like it's a tricky situation.

He clears out his locker, talks to a few people to tell them what happened, getting ready to leave when he comes across the manager again, the manager at this point fucking HATES him and you can see it on his face. My buddy smirks and says "you realize I just got you fired too asshole? Now everyone knows how worthless you are". And sure enough, manager didn't get fired, but when his contract ran out that was the last you saw of him.