Elderly Jewish man relives the glory days

UnPRePared

For the last time, I am NOT Frank Grimes!
Well, can anyone do it?

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The setting: Miami, October 16, 1972. I just finish my show for the day, "Sports-A-La-King", and I make a stop at Duffy's Tavern for a plate of chicken wings, a cheesecake and a glass or two of Cabernet - you wonder why I'm diabetic! Anyway, as I await my order, the barkeep says to me "Hey, King, check out what we just got in this morning!" I was thinking he was trying to push a new Merlot, but not this time... Instead I'm greeted with this giant of electronics in a strangely yellow wooden cabinet, one dial on the left and another on the right, with these two lines moving up and down the screen, blocking this square thingie from going past them!

Ladies and gentleman, I was seeing the future.

I asked him what it was, and he pointed to the top of the machine: "Pong". He said you put in a quarter and you play it like table pong - but you're not! Heresy, I thought, and I walked away. But after my third glass of Merlot, and a sugar high that would make Dom Deluise climax, I pulled out my laundry money and decided to challenge myself.

Call it a bender, a diabetic coma, or just my dementia, but I don't remember the following three days. When I came to, I was still in front of that machine, my clothes were drenched in sweat, my wallet was empty, my tab had skyrocketed, and my third/fifth wife (that's true, and a very long story) was screaming to my left that WIOD was threatening to fire me!

Worst of all, I had signed divorce papers she had served me. Tricky bitch.

What's this game called again? Hotline Miami? Yeah, it's not bad. 3 stars, 5 stars if it was in the Tokyo Dome and narrated by Giant Baba.

Carol in Long Island, you'd like to share the benefits of being a squirter - I'm all ears!
 
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