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Does nobody know how to use a microwave anymore?

Uncle Floyd

Uncle Floyd

It smells like cunt.... I think.....
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I installed a new microwave in a house I sold back in 2015, but never got to use it. The Cold War-era microwave in my kitchen here is built into the wall with the oven. ("Mmm, ya can almost see Alice pulling a steaming red hump of meatloaf outta there, can't ya?") Speaking of, did the Bradys ever sit at a table and eat dinner together? Did Alice serve them with smiles like the suburban royalty they portrayed, or was she spooning grey tuna casserole over the shoulders of her captors? Were the Bradys pulling some reverse-Parasite shit and imprisoning Alice into servitude? And Robert Reed, because he was an architect, built the house, and the basement is an elaborate maze of tunnels that ends in a concrete, soundproof bunker where Alice spends her nights. Digging at the wall with the meat cleaver she smuggled in on the day her husband Sam died. The kids don't know what's going on, but the older kids are becoming suspicious. This sets them -- and Tiger (maybe Oliver, for his redemption arc) -- on a bloody path of torture, sexual perversion and found families.

Anyway dreading the day that microwave dies.
 
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