Do you think Rick is jealous that he has a 5 year old Microsoft Surface when the trolls can afford the good shit?

[RobertMewler]

The surprised and pre-disgusted look on this guy's reflection is priceless:

 

[TorqueWheeler]

It's so funny that he so obsessed with word count. That's the mindset of a college freshman/sophomore-- he gives zero shits about the quality of his work and it shows. The structure of Starship Repo is awful-- it almost reads like a play because it has so much dialogue (inane dialogue at that).

He thinks his dialogue is his strength because his characters are all him and he thinks he's amazing. Reminds me of all the faux-Tarantino screenplays I've seen where characters are just talking about absolutely fucking nothing for paragraphs at a time just for the sake of it without ever understanding why those scenes worked in the first place and why anything doing it now is almost certainly going to come across as derivative shit.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

It's because he watches TV instead of reading. On screen, exposition has to be delivered to the audience by actors. But a book should have far less dialogue because all the background info can be told by the narrator. Pat would know this if he ever opened a book.

This too.

 

[Harry Powell]

He thinks his dialogue is his strength because his characters are all him and he thinks he's amazing. Reminds me of all the faux-Tarantino screenplays I've seen where characters are just talking about absolutely fucking nothing for paragraphs at a time just for the sake of it without ever understanding why those scenes worked in the first place and why anything doing it now is almost certainly going to come across as derivative shit.

It’s part of his narcissism. I think the best example is that interview where he talks about eating his charcoal-briquette steak. Just this super inane logorrheic rambling that appeals to an audience of exactly one - himself.

He can’t comprehend that no one else gives a fuck because he has no theory of mind.

All his dialogue and his “funny” Twitter bits are the same. His thing about sending pictures of himself with a “rage erection” and a gun was wild and funny in his own mind, ergo everyone else will understand it in exactly the same way.

I hope @FezFuckedBabyLove accidentally kills him during a home invasion for fent money.

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

It's because he watches TV instead of reading. On screen, exposition has to be delivered to the audience by actors. But a book should have far less dialogue because all the background info can be told by the narrator. Pat would know this if he ever opened a book.

Well said. I found it so hard to finish his books and I've edited erotic books written very poorly by bored housewives who try and be as creative as possible describing cocks and wet pussies...
You are right, it really feels like he's writing with a TV show or something in mind. And I love when you can tell he has used a thesaurus...he forgets a lot of the time that a synonym it may he, but it can change the whole flow of the sentence and he isn't smart enough to correct.

His pacing is atrocious, probably because he goes back and dumps in loads of extra shit just for the word count.
Ever hear of Great Gatsby Fatrick? And no not the Leo Di Caprio movie... Its about 57k words...

Or how about Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? ( as a sci fi author I'm sure you know thats Blade Runner, the title being bought from William Burroughs)... That clocks in at 80k...

I can't wait for this Tiny Tim shit to fail

 

[TorqueWheeler]

It’s part of his narcissism. I think the best example is that interview where he talks about eating his charcoal-briquette steak. Just this super inane logorrheic rambling that appeals to an audience of exactly one - himself.

He can’t comprehend that no one else gives a fuck because he has no theory of mind.

All his dialogue and his “funny” Twitter bits are the same. His thing about sending pictures of himself with a “rage erection” and a gun was wild and funny in his own mind, ergo everyone else will understand it in exactly the same way.

I hope @FezFuckedBabyLove accidentally kills him during a home invasion for fent money.

This is beautiful. Pat completely deconstructed to his essence.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

The surprised and pre-disgusted look on this guy's reflection is priceless:

"Sir, this is the men's room"

 

[PeteRose]

It's so funny that he is so obsessed with word count. That's the mindset of a college freshman/sophomore-- he gives zero shits about the quality of his work and it shows. The structure of Starship Repo is awful-- it almost reads like a play because it has so much dialogue (inane dialogue at that).

and then she said, and then he said, and then they said and he responded... he really is a horrible "writer" he'll never see another book published that's for sure.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

and then she said, and then he said, and then they said and he responded... he really is a horrible "writer" he'll never see another book published that's for sure.

This would hit much harder if he hadn't just written his best line in years, stlaker.

 

[Will Tate]

"Sir, this is the men's room"

I know, child, now get that cock out.

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

I know, child, now get that cock out.

If it was an erotic book I've edited before it would be something like...

''I know, child, now unleash that glistening, vascular, pulsating, cervix-wrecking love weapon... The thick veins that spiderwebbed their way around the frighteningly thick shaft stood out starkly full...The angry, deep purple, engorged and bulbous, blooming head, it's darkened eye, almost pouting, was leaking crystalline sweet nectar, the only fluid to slake a pure burning animal thirst, pointing poudly...no, more like it was pointing brazenly, reaching, clutching, thrusting skywards, as if to direct your gaze to the Heavens it would surely bring you to after a moment, an minute, an hour, an eternity of assaulting your sopping, fragrant, pink quivering quim...''

Christ I can think of shit I had to proofread and edit and fix up for LOADS of these churned out books, loads.... But it's still better then anything Fatrick can write.

 

[JewishNigger]

Using a Surface at all for writing seems dumb. Those keyboards suck dick, and all he uses it for is typing in a word processor in a shitty bar on a dirty counter top. An old durable chinkpad with an actual good keyboard would fit the use case, not a Surface.

 

[MonsterSteve]

Surface is for faggots. They had one shot - which was to sell the Surface RT at a loss. Should have been a $250 product. Instead they priced it as a premium product completely ruining any chance RT had.

Yea they are overpriced for sure. You can get an M1 iPad Pro with magic keyboard and pencil for the same price and it outperforms it in every way BUT no windows is a dealbreaker.

MS has a 60 day no questions asked return policy so I wanted to try it for a bit to see if it’s worth holding onto. I’m a gadget fag.

 

[EraGodless]

If it was an erotic book I've edited before it would be something like...

''I know, child, now unleash that glistening, vascular, pulsating, cervix-wrecking love weapon... The thick veins that spiderwebbed their way around the frighteningly thick shaft stood out starkly full...The angry, deep purple, engorged and bulbous, blooming head, it's darkened eye, almost pouting, was leaking crystalline sweet nectar, the only fluid to slake a pure burning animal thirst, pointing poudly...no, more like it was pointing brazenly, reaching, clutching, thrusting skywards, as if to direct your gaze to the Heavens it would surely bring you to after a moment, an minute, an hour, an eternity of assaulting your sopping, fragrant, pink quivering quim...''

Christ I can think of shit I had to proofread and edit and fix up for LOADS of these churned out books, loads.... But it's still better then anything Fatrick can write.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

If it was an erotic book I've edited before it would be something like...

''I know, child, now unleash that glistening, vascular, pulsating, cervix-wrecking love weapon... The thick veins that spiderwebbed their way around the frighteningly thick shaft stood out starkly full...The angry, deep purple, engorged and bulbous, blooming head, it's darkened eye, almost pouting, was leaking crystalline sweet nectar, the only fluid to slake a pure burning animal thirst, pointing poudly...no, more like it was pointing brazenly, reaching, clutching, thrusting skywards, as if to direct your gaze to the Heavens it would surely bring you to after a moment, an minute, an hour, an eternity of assaulting your sopping, fragrant, pink quivering quim...''

Christ I can think of shit I had to proofread and edit and fix up for LOADS of these churned out books, loads.... But it's still better then anything Fatrick can write.

 

[MonsterSteve]

It's so funny that he is so obsessed with word count. That's the mindset of a college freshman/sophomore-- he gives zero shits about the quality of his work and it shows. The structure of Starship Repo is awful-- it almost reads like a play because it has so much dialogue (inane dialogue at that).

I wonder if Stephen King sits there thinking about his word count. Or if he just writes a story and whatever it is, it is.

 

[MonsterSteve]

Using a Surface at all for writing seems dumb. Those keyboards suck dick, and all he uses it for is typing in a word processor in a shitty bar on a dirty counter top. An old durable chinkpad with an actual good keyboard would fit the use case, not a Surface.

I have to defend the Surface and say their keyboards are actually good but you're partly right that if I was a PROFESSIONAL WRITER, I would have a laptop with a far more comfortable keyboard. A Surface KB does the job for browsing the net and typing up a few things. For writing "professionally"? No.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Yea they are overpriced for sure. You can get an M1 iPad Pro with magic keyboard and pencil for the same price and it outperforms it in every way BUT no windows is a dealbreaker.

MS has a 60 day no questions asked return policy so I wanted to try it for a bit to see if it’s worth holding onto. I’m a gadget fag.

Id imagine pat has predictable grudge against any apple products.

 

[DiarrheaDick]

It's so goddamn dirty. He must pick his nose, roll it around his fingers, and not even bother to flick it away before he starts typing or grabs the mouse.

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

My ribs are still tickled from the time someone compared his writing to Bart's play.