Clerks 3...

[satanssockpuppet]

I had hopes it'd be good because I recall everyone ripping Clerks 2 to shreds and ended up really liking it, so I figured it was the same situation here.

What a shitshow. People blame his weed habit but this shit was the melodramatic, manic depressive creation of a seasoned drunk. That it's getting anything close to positive reviews is shocking.

IMO the really alarming thing is how INCREDIBLY shitty his newer films look and sound. You'd assume he'd get better at that aspect of it, not far, far worse. Clerks 2 was like a Kubrick film next to anything he's done in the last twelve years. I mean, at least it appeared that whoever filmed it and scored it had some idea of how the equipment worked. I guess he assumes that his slipshod approach is "cute" or something, but it's really just embarrassing.

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

 

[ChildSpitTake]

View attachment 67156

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

🥹

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Kevin Smith made two good movies in his entire career, Clerk and Mall Rats.
I used to think Dogma was good, but I rewatched it recently and realized it was also crap.
Take a second to appreciate how awful of a director one has to be to have George Carlin, Alan Rickman and a young Chris Rock in your movie and still have it be shit.

Funny, I just re-watched Dogma last week. I also used to really enjoy it, but Jesus what a laugh less, pretentious bore it is now. We get it, Kevin - you have hang ups about the Catholic faith. But at least try and explore those points and arrive at some conclusions rather than mask them with fucking endless weed and dick jokes.

 

[Doctor Coom]

Funny, I just re-watched Dogma last week. I also used to really enjoy it, but Jesus what a laugh less, pretentious bore it is now. We get it, Kevin - you have hang ups about the Catholic faith. But at least try and explore those points and arrive at some conclusions rather than mask them with fucking endless weed and dick jokes.

Friend you didn't happen to get BASED over the years did you?

 

[DiarrheaDick]

I read the spoiler and I'm glad Dante died. Spoiler alert. It means there won't be a Clerks 4.

Idk, we're in an era of prequels and other horseshit nobody asked for.

 

[JamesJCrowe]

it's on the torrent sites if anyone's interested. think i might give it a watch

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

It blows. I say that as someone who loved 2 and didn't think J&SB Reboot was as bad as everyone said. Clerks 3 is unfunny, melodramatic horseshit.

 

[Cuphead]

I liked it

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

I'm a half hour into this piece of shit and haven't smiled once so far.

- What's the movie gonna be about?
- It's going to be about an hour and a half.

Funny stuff!

 

[not that Jack Horner]

this movie is depressing

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

stupid

 

[Easily_Remembered]

The only joke that landed in the entire thing for me was the Chris Nolan line.

Other than that, this movie is notable mainly for Smith's heavier than usual simping for Disney properties - if you didn't know that Smith was being sincere, you would mistake this for a satire of modern day consumer culture. Make no mistakes - this is Smith auditioning for the MCU.

Also, at Dante's funeral, Randal makes a slight about the CGI rat at the end of Scorsese's The Departed, and it cuts to Silent Bob (Smith) nodding in agreement. Couldn't believe the fawking balls on this guy. First of all, a hack like Smith is in no position to criticize someone like Scorsese. Secondly, I agree that the CGI rat was shitty and unnecessary - but you can't criticize that after 2 hours of shilling for Marvel and Star Wars movies, which are so CGI heavy that they're practically animated at this point.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

The only joke that landed in the entire thing for me was the Chris Nolan line.

Other than that, this movie is notable mainly for Smith's heavier than usual simping for Disney properties - if you didn't know that Smith was being sincere, you would mistake this for a satire of modern day consumer culture. Make no mistakes - this is Smith auditioning for the MCU.

Also, at Dante's funeral, Randal makes a slight about the CGI rat at the end of Scorsese's The Departed, and it cuts to Silent Bob (Smith) nodding in agreement. Couldn't believe the fawking balls on this guy. First of all, a hack like Smith is in no position to criticize someone like Scorsese. Secondly, I agree that the CGI rat was shitty and unnecessary - but you can't criticize that after 2 hours of shilling for Marvel and Star Wars movies, which are so CGI heavy that they're practically animated at this point.

the only time I laughed the whole movie was during the funeral what Harley said. Reboot was better.

 

[Stent]

I really appreciated the voice over he did for the credits. It made me completely hate him right up until the movie stopped.

Why did I watch something by this guy and expect anything other than shit?

 

[guest]

I really appreciated the voice over he did for the credits. It made me completely hate him right up until the movie stopped.

Why did I watch something by this guy and expect anything other than shit?

His neck makes me so angry

 

[Stent]

His neck makes me so angry

There isn't a single thing about him that doesn't anger me. His stupid t-shirt under a comically oversized jacket in a ridiculous color with two stupid lapel pins. The straining neck. The goatee beard. His expression and dumb vacant eyes. His ears poking out because of the backwards hat sitting too low. Even his hairline is annoying.

It's nature's warning sign that this guy is a complete faggot and should be avoided at all costs.

 

[WhereWeAt]

Is his ugly cunt of a wife in it?

Did you seriously ask that? You know the answer