BREAKING: Anthony Cumia, former shockjock aged 62, found alive but not particularly well in his New York hotel room

Sue Lightning

Balconyster
Which hotel? The one he lives at, or the one he stays at when he's too tired to go to the one he lives at because he just flew back from visiting his own house?
Police say they arrived at the scene and found Anthony Cumia alone in his break hotel with an underage girl hiding in the closet. However the cops understood the justification of it being the right 12 and let him go. In the other hotel they found a transgender hooker who was deemed a really cool friend who we have no business talking about.
 

Sue Lightning

Balconyster
He collapsed after his 3 AM hot dog and chips weren’t delivered on a silver platter after he spent $95 on a fuckin room! And YES the guy delivering it was a F/N and YES IT MATTERS.
Hohhoooo …. . REMEMBER the fucking 60’s? When you could just uhhh… get a fucking beer? And a hotdog? And see uh someone who looks like you..hehhehhe…ACTUALLY fucking looks like you…Garrett you know what i’m talking about. Yeah you know. Deliver you your uh fucking meal. hehe he.. uhhh TO YOUR FUCKING HOTEL ROOM YOU PAID FOR? HAHAHAAH HOLEEE SHIT! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! Hehe uhhh they showed up to WORK, they get the FUCKING ROOM NUMBERS RIGHT! Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I’ve had that happen before. These fuckings…ANIMALS, i’m sorry, i don’t know how else to describe them, fucking knock on my door one night. Yeah see Erocks looking at me. Yeah. I’m SLEEPING. ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT. And this motherless fuck… BAM BAM BAM BAM!! and you know me folks. I know uhh what neighborhood this hotel is in, i’ll be honest. So i uhh pretended to be uhh asleep hoping he would hehe just uhh go away. But you KNOW i was reaching for the fuckin gun. Hehe. Yeah they’re all looking at me. It would be like uhh Wendy in the Shining only she has a uh gun instead of a bat. And it’s uhhh JAQUILE Torrence instead hehehe…ahhhh. So. anyway. This fuck just keeps pounding on the uhh door….BAM BAM BAM BAM!! …hehehe and no, folks, i’m not talking about Opie again. hehehe Big reaction from the uhh production booth, they’re all looking at me. Uhhh so anyway i uhhh i finally say Ooook. I’m DONE. So I fucking get up FURIOUS. And I open the door and scream in this ffucking mmmms FACE “WHAT?” …..and he has a meal…FOR SOMEONE ELSE. OH YEAH. I WAS UHH FUCKING FURIOUS. Fuck that. I’m not fucking going back to that fucking hotel again. Piece of uhh fucking shit. And you fucking know why. We all know why. Oh yeah. And this is fucking happening everywhere. And i’m not afraid to talk about it.
 
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