Billy fuckin' Joel

[satanssockpuppet]

He's apparently a cafe racer motorcycle enthusiast. He has a bunch of old Triumphs and Nortons and shit that would make the likes of Patrick S. Tomlinson blow a load.

I'm surprised that he hasn't written a song about how his love of motorcycles is a pathetic facade engineered to wallow in the "tough guy" fantasies of his sad, sexless youth.

"And I drank two more beers,
And I threw it in gear,
And said now I'll be young for a while...
Oh na, la dee dad da, oh la da dee dahhhh, dee dee dah
Oh fire it up you're the motorcycle man,
Pretend to be cool for a while."

And so forth.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Billy Joel is a deeply bitter and cynical guy, who just can't stand to see other people being happier than he is.

Take a guy like Springsteen, who I don't really care for either, but who sings about a lot of the same kind of shit. He seems to have an affection and empathy for the dumb characters who populate his retarded little worlds. But Billy Joel just sneers at them all with contempt. He's such an angry little man, and no one seems to notice it.

WTF I love Billy Joe now.

 

[Stent]

Now Paul is a warranty novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Abie, about swallowing his gravy
And probably will be for life

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

When I hear Billy Joel, I always think of this fucking loser I knew. He was a “tribute artist.” Blew his brains out several years ago

Fuck anyone with two first names

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Now Paul is a warranty novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Abie, about swallowing his gravy
And probably will be for life

Paul doesn't speak to me in my dreams anymore. He mostly just... wails. I guess. Horrifying, spine-chilling wailing and moaning like he's in immense pain, but there's an angry and malevolent tone to it. It's always off in the distance... When I can see him he doesn't make noises anymore. He doesn't move like a human anymore either. He stands up straight, but when he moves it's on all fours and he scuttles like a stop-motion spider.

I'm sorry I beat the fuck out of you the other night. I was having a night turror.

 

[Stent]

Paul doesn't speak to me in my dreams anymore. He mostly just... wails. I guess. Horrifying, spine-chilling wailing and moaning like he's in immense pain, but there's an angry and malevolent tone to it. It's always off in the distance... When I can see him he doesn't make noises anymore. He doesn't move like a human anymore either. He stands up straight, but when he moves it's on all fours and he scuttles like a stop-motion spider.

I'm sorry I beat the fuck out of you the other night. I was having a night turror.

He must be incapable of raping you while I'm there. We can never be apart.

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

WTF I love Billy Joe now.

SO MUCH THIS

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]