Back to the Joseph Cumia food posts

[UnPRePared]

Don't scramble eggs in oil, Ray, especially not olive oil. All you need is a big knob of butter, low heat, slow cook, never stop stirring. Treat it like a risotto.

I don't scramble, lad, over easy every time.

And I've never been a big butter user. Don't ask me why, Gosia uses it in EVERYTHING (and I still eat what she makes every time), but I never end up using it in cooking. Unrefined coconut oil, avocado oil, even ghee for me - but never straight up butter.

I'm an outlier, and I'm sure I'm missing out.

 

[guest]

I don't scramble, lad, over easy every time.

Any tips on how to flip them over without busting the yolks?

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Any tips on how to flip them over without busting the yolks?

Funny enough, I find using oil along with the butter for flavor helps

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

View attachment 122351“Giant cup of Black Rifle “murdered out” dark roast” but filled with some faggy creamer no doubt.

Also, those eggs are totally over cooked.

Lobster bisque on eggs? Never heard of that but I’m sure it’s no problem for an old queen that admits he’s got gout.

That looks like something I'd leave in the terlet after a night of drinking shit whisky

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

I'll have to fight you all on the toast. I like mine darker and well done like the cow himself. Though, having a similar taste to Joe makes me feel the need to reflect on my life. I also order my pizza well done. sue me.

Pizza should be well done

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

So racist not even his coffee can be black.

Only his reflection is.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Clean

Any tips on how to flip them over without busting the yolks?

Clean cooking surface, good spatula and one quick motion, don't hesitate

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Clean

Clean cooking surface, good spatula and one quick motion, don't hesitate

Or if you’re a bit nervous (don’t get nervous!) you can put a slash of boiling water in the frying pan as the egg white is setting on top, cover it, and steam it for like 1 minute or so. That’ll give you the same effect without having to flip it.

 

[guest]

Or if you’re a bit nervous (don’t get nervous!) you can put a slash of boiling water in the frying pan as the egg white is setting on top, cover it, and steam it for like 1 minute or so. That’ll give you the same effect without having to flip it.

Yeah, that's what I usually do

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Had to treat himself because he is a guest on baby bros show. Really movin up in the world.

 

[Zeroman]

I'll have to fight you all on the toast. I like mine darker and well done like the cow himself. Though, having a similar taste to Joe makes me feel the need to reflect on my life. I also order my pizza well done. sue me.

Nice username checking out, stupid.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Had to treat himself because he is a guest on baby bros show. Really movin up in the world.

Is this true?

 

[bumbum8]

Actually, eating in the morning is probably better. If he fasts all day and is remotely active, he'll burn off the calories better and, in theory, stay lean.

But Mr. Carbs With His Fats will just get tired from the hearty breakfast and pass out to Petticoat Junction reruns instead.

I've been fasting in the morning, makes me feel great and not eat so much in the evening, which is weird because I used to scarf down shit before bed.

In any case, I'd feel better if he didn't eat at all.

 

[Rascal]

I think all these food and lifestyle tweets are Joe's way of convincing himself he's doing the right thing. Deep down he probably felt unsure if that sloppy mess was a good thing to eat for breakfast, but once he makes an expert style tweet where he educates us about the benefits of whatever dumb shit he's doing at the moment, he can bury thoughts like that and pig out with no guilt or doubt.

 

[Roslyn Vampire]

MANLY MURDERED OUT NRA-APPROVED BLACK RIFLE COFFEE FOR REAL ALPHA CHAD MALES ONLY!!!

(served in a faggy Tinkerbell mug purchased from woke Disney)

 

[HH Brother]

Didn't the BRC CEO wanted to give and receive buttfucking from an employee, funster? Fits right in with the mentality of the Cumia sisters.

 

[Carol's Bad Cavern]

Could use some burnt plantains #LowGlycemic

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Imagine a life so devoid of meaning that a plate of ordinary slop merits a "HOLY SHIT" reaction.

You forgot the Cumia grammar rule that states holy shit should always be hyphenated.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Don't scramble eggs in oil, Ray, especially not olive oil. All you need is a big knob of butter, low heat, slow cook, never stop stirring. Treat it like a risotto.

If that works for you, great, but there’s not just one way. Main thing is not to whisk the eggs beforehand or add milk — and don’t season with salt until after they are cooked. I prefer the Gordon Ramsay method (high heat, on and off the flame while folding continuously). He uses loads of butter but I do it with oil most of the time and they’re just as good.


Joe said there are potatoes in those eggs too. Fucking weirdo. The lobster bisque on top makes it look like Ant rubbed one out over the plate and his urethra is still bleeding from his gonorrhea swab test.