AutoCheck on the Susan the Shitstank

[Cygnus Nana X-1]

Imagine thinking the car has any value at this mileage let alone with damage reports. What a rube.

 

[ISO__JOE]

Imagine thinking the car has any value at this mileage let alone with damage reports. What a rube.

this isn't even accounting for whatever miles he put on it over 171k.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Imagine thinking the car has any value at this mileage let alone with damage reports. What a rube.

Once the car hits 100k it’s almost impossible to get a bank to loan someone buying at a dealership money to buy it so dealer sends these cars to the auction or keep it in the back hoping someone will pay cash.

He’s close to 200k miles, accidents, third owner, and the car is kept outside in the elements of Wisconsin which means years of salt under the car which is another hit to the value.

Anything happens to this car and hes fucked. He would only be able to buy something prob just as old and very shitty.

 

[CuntFucker .]

Not an ounce of slack

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

this isn't even accounting for whatever miles he put on it over 171k.

If he traded it in he’d prob only get 1500 tops, this is a car they send right to the auction. Most likely will end up at one of those barely legal “buy here / pay here” places you see in the ghetto where they put a device on your car that shuts it off if you don’t pay.

 

[guyincognito2.0]

Hey cmon guys, we’re talking about his fat asian wife Susssssssan

 

[Africa.com]

I’d buy his car in a heartbeat, mustang gts can be fun cars with the right mods and a good tune. Also who doesn’t love dark highland green?

It would be great for a demo derby

 

[Lucky Buddha Beer]

If he traded it in he’d prob only get 1500 tops, this is a car they send right to the auction. Most likely will end up at one of those barely legal “buy here / pay here” places you see in the ghetto where they put a device on your car that shuts it off if you don’t pay.

Why do I find it so funny my jalopy ford focus has a higher trade value than Patty's MACHO MUSCLE CAR.

Please Quasi once you get the car park it in some ghetto somewhere and come back in a day or two for a video. Be like the scene from lord of war with the African children stripping a plane down to the chassis.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Why do I find it so funny my jalopy ford focus has a higher trade value than Patty's MACHO MUSCLE CAR.

Please Quasi once you get the car park it in some ghetto somewhere and come back in a day or two for a video. Be like the scene from lord of war with the African children stripping a plane down to the chassis.

According to Pat his car is “very desirable” but I find that pretty far-fetched.

The only people looking for his mustang is maybe some 16 year old looking for a first car they can pay cash with money they’ve saved from a part time job. That’s his only chance to sell it privately.

I remember when I was 16 and we were all getting our first cars and they were at least 10 years old and had 125-150k miles on them. Pat has close to 200k so teenagers might even avoid his piece of shit.

 

[Lucky Buddha Beer]

According to Pat his car is “very desirable” but I find that pretty far-fetched.

The only people looking for his mustang is maybe some 16 year old looking for a first car they can pay cash with money they’ve saved from a part time job. That’s his only chance to sell it privately.

I remember when I was 16 and we were all getting our first cars and they were at least 10 years old and had 125-150k miles on them. Pat has close to 200k so teenagers might even avoid his piece of shit.

That's literally what I almost did when I was young. First car, a used 1996 BMW. I showed my dad and he said that is stupid as fuck no, and I dropped that idea. That thing would've been a beastly money pit.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

That's literally what I almost did when I was young. First car, a used 1996 BMW. I showed my dad and he said that is stupid as fuck no, and I dropped that idea. That thing would've been a beastly money pit.

Exactly, when you’re that age you see the brand / model and go “Whoa, a (insert here) for sale! That’s cheap!” And then you don’t realize things like high mileage on a car (how much life is left) or that you’re going to have to get it worked on due to its age / miles.

I knew people who bought the Mercedes / Lexus / BMW / etc fancy type cars just to impress people but could barely afford it. They do it without realizing these cars take premium gas and still put regular and fuck up the engine. I had a roommate who had a Lexus but was always broke and he blew his engine putting regular in, another it was a V6 BMW that was down to only 3 cylinders.

 

[captain_kamala]

Exactly, when you’re that age you see the brand / model and go “Whoa, a (insert here) for sale! That’s cheap!” And then you don’t realize things like high mileage on a car (how much life is left) or that you’re going to have to get it worked on due to its age / miles.

I knew people who bought the Mercedes / Lexus / BMW / etc fancy type cars just to impress people but could barely afford it. They do it without realizing these cars take premium gas and still put regular and fuck up the engine. I had a roommate who had a Lexus but was always broke and he blew his engine putting regular in, another it was a V6 BMW that was down to only 3 cylinders.

I had a neighbor who got a new luxury car every year with his tax return. Jaguars and shit. Only to take pics for Instagram, he couldn't keep them running.

 

[firstimelongtime]

How does a fat guy that doesn’t have to commute to a job put so many miles on that Barbie car?

Pizza delivery?

 

[firstimelongtime]

Exactly, when you’re that age you see the brand / model and go “Whoa, a (insert here) for sale! That’s cheap!” And then you don’t realize things like high mileage on a car (how much life is left) or that you’re going to have to get it worked on due to its age / miles.

I knew people who bought the Mercedes / Lexus / BMW / etc fancy type cars just to impress people but could barely afford it. They do it without realizing these cars take premium gas and still put regular and fuck up the engine. I had a roommate who had a Lexus but was always broke and he blew his engine putting regular in, another it was a V6 BMW that was down to only 3 cylinders.

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Coming soon for Owner 3 too.

There's a non-zero chance that he dreams of swooping back into his daughter's life when she turns 18 and, choking back tears of fatherly love, tossing her the keys to Susan and say "she's all yours, kid". And then walk off into the sunset.

edit: And a 100% chance of Annabelle going inside to tell her mom about the fat, drunk stranger who ran over their mailbox, muttered something unintelligible, and staggered away, leaving a junker in their yard.

 

[SFWA liaison]

road ice cracked the bumper according to pig

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

That wasnt some god damned "road ice". I bet drunkenly stuffed it into something. If there isnt a police report and just an insurance claim, then its an "at fault" accident and he hit something stationary. Plus that means his premiums have gone up.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I had a neighbor who got a new luxury car every year with his tax return. Jaguars and shit. Only to take pics for Instagram, he couldn't keep them running.

I knew guys that who would always claim they had “no idea” the car needed premium gas even though it says it right above the gas cap.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

That wasnt some god damned "road ice". I bet drunkenly stuffed it into something. If there isnt a police report and just an insurance claim, then its an "at fault" accident and he hit something stationary. Plus that means his premiums have gone up.

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You know that wasn’t a fun talk with Niki when the insurance went up. That speeding ticket he was terrified of the points that come with it - but the fine was a “trivial sum” which is not something you say to a judge - you look like a smug douche.

 

[porquedealer]

That wasnt some god damned "road ice". I bet drunkenly stuffed it into something. If there isnt a police report and just an insurance claim, then its an "at fault" accident and he hit something stationary. Plus that means his premiums have gone up.

View attachment 142139

Who puts in an insurance claim if there is no 3rd party and the repair costs are minimal?

Either it was a 140IQ move by a peasant who couldn't cover the $1k upfront so will endure increase premiums in the future at a greater cost.
or someone else was involved so it had to be reported.

It's Pat so 140iq move is an actual valid option.
A broken fender is superficial. He'd rather get jewed by the insurance agents forever than scratch around to find the cash to pay himself or drive around with a busted fender for a while)
literal double nigger.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Who puts in an insurance claim if there is no 3rd party and the repair costs are minimal?

Either it was a 140IQ move by a peasant who couldn't cover the $1k upfront so will endure increase premiums in the future at a greater cost.
or someone else was involved so it had to be reported.

It's Pat so 140iq move is an actual valid option.
A broken fender is superficial. He'd rather get jewed by the insurance agents forever than scratch around to find the cash to pay himself or drive around with a busted fender for a while)
literal double nigger.

He thought he would get away with "just paying the deductible" to get a full front end repair. The insurance company will make their money back plus interest while pat pays and extra $60 a month for the next 3 years and cant get in another accident/claim in that time.