Another interview with Pat

[Hudson]

So now he's skipped the entire going to prison thing and has moved onto phase 2, never getting out of prison?

Next: "You'll go to the gas chamber for this, stlaker."

 

[Brooke Shields]

i read these in a Dan Soder interview-character voice and it was hilarious. Very nice

 

[Stent]

Now pad it out to 85,000 words and send it to the New York Times.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I love the disregard of what pat thinks about the interview.

 

[SFWA liaison]

never getting out of prison lol so now it's going to be a life sentence? for prank texting? shieeet the Milwaukee PD is onto us oh no!

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

never getting out of prison lol so now it's going to be a life sentence? for prank texting? shieeet the Milwaukee PD is onto us oh no!

He is just out of options. He only says these things for his own sanity. He has to tell himself these things so he thinks there is still a sliver of hope that he might get a win against a troll. Its the aithest version of " You are going to hell". He knows down deep that even his lies cant get a spotlight on his situation and he doesnt know how else to get an advantage. Id almost feel bad for him if I already didnt know what a piece of shit garbage person he is.

 

[jeebus]

View attachment 62912

"Touch grass."
"Who hurt you?"
"You must be fun at parties."

This is like the holy trinity of reddit-level "insults" that immediately identify the speaker/poster as a huge faggot. All he's missing is the zany comparison to a random object (e.g: "go touch grass, you overdubbed Milli Vanilli cassette tape") to cement his status as a true comedy genius