- Forum Clout
- 21,643
Title: **Jim Norton's Gender Bender**
**INT. COMEDY CLUB GREEN ROOM - NIGHT**
*Jim Norton and Colin Quinn are sitting on a worn-out couch. Jim is pacing back and forth, looking flustered. Colin is sipping a coffee, looking amused.*
**Jim:** (sighing) Colin, I gotta talk to you about something serious.
**Colin:** (grinning) Jim, the last time you said that, you asked if eating a pint of ice cream counts as therapy.
**Jim:** No, no, this is different. It’s about my wife...well, my soon-to-be husband.
**Colin:** (raising an eyebrow) Oh, this sounds juicy. Go on.
**Jim:** (throwing hands up) She came out to me as transgender and wants to transition to living as a man.
**Colin:** (deadpan) And here I thought the biggest surprise in your life was fitting into those skinny jeans.
**Jim:** (ignoring the jab) I mean, I support her—sorry, him—100%, but I can’t help feeling a little...off balance.
**Colin:** Off balance? Jim, you’ve been off balance since the ’90s. What’s really bothering you?
**Jim:** (sitting down) It’s everything. Pronouns, the transition...and the fact that my sex life just got more confusing than one of your monologues.
**Colin:** (chuckling) Trust me, my monologues are way more coherent than your sex life.
**Jim:** (groaning) You’re not helping!
**Colin:** (smirking) Alright, alright. Let’s break this down. You love your wife, right?
**Jim:** Of course.
**Colin:** And you want him to be happy?
**Jim:** Absolutely.
**Colin:** Then what’s the issue? Love is love, Jim. Whether you’re a husband and wife, or husband and...husband. Or whatever the hell you’ll be.
**Jim:** (rubbing temples) It’s not just that. I’m worried about the changes. And the questions. What do I call him now? Babe? Bro? Do we still share clothes?
**Colin:** (laughing) Look, Jim, relationships are all about adapting. You’ll figure it out. Just don’t start borrowing his boxers.
**Jim:** (smirking) That’s your advice?
**Colin:** (serious) No, my real advice is to keep talking to him. Communicate. You’re a comedian, not a mime. Use your words.
**Jim:** (nodding) Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a lot to process. I feel like I’m in a sitcom.
**Colin:** (grinning) Well, if this is a sitcom, you’re the quirky neighbor who finally gets a decent storyline.
**Jim:** (laughs) Thanks, Colin. You know, maybe I’ll work this into my act.
**Colin:** (patting his shoulder) Now you’re talking. Comedy is tragedy plus time. And in your case, a little gender confusion.
**Jim:** (standing up) Alright, I better go. Got a lot to figure out.
**Colin:** (smirking) And Jim?
**Jim:** Yeah?
**Colin:** Don’t forget to let him know you love him. That’s the punchline that really matters.
**Jim:** (smiling) Thanks, Colin. I owe you one.
**Colin:** (leaning back) You owe me a lot more than one, but we’ll start with that.
*Jim exits the room, looking more determined. Colin takes another sip of his coffee, shaking his head with a smile.*
**Colin:** (to himself) Comedy and relationships. Both need a good sense of humor.
*Fade out.*
**END**
**INT. COMEDY CLUB GREEN ROOM - NIGHT**
*Jim Norton and Colin Quinn are sitting on a worn-out couch. Jim is pacing back and forth, looking flustered. Colin is sipping a coffee, looking amused.*
**Jim:** (sighing) Colin, I gotta talk to you about something serious.
**Colin:** (grinning) Jim, the last time you said that, you asked if eating a pint of ice cream counts as therapy.
**Jim:** No, no, this is different. It’s about my wife...well, my soon-to-be husband.
**Colin:** (raising an eyebrow) Oh, this sounds juicy. Go on.
**Jim:** (throwing hands up) She came out to me as transgender and wants to transition to living as a man.
**Colin:** (deadpan) And here I thought the biggest surprise in your life was fitting into those skinny jeans.
**Jim:** (ignoring the jab) I mean, I support her—sorry, him—100%, but I can’t help feeling a little...off balance.
**Colin:** Off balance? Jim, you’ve been off balance since the ’90s. What’s really bothering you?
**Jim:** (sitting down) It’s everything. Pronouns, the transition...and the fact that my sex life just got more confusing than one of your monologues.
**Colin:** (chuckling) Trust me, my monologues are way more coherent than your sex life.
**Jim:** (groaning) You’re not helping!
**Colin:** (smirking) Alright, alright. Let’s break this down. You love your wife, right?
**Jim:** Of course.
**Colin:** And you want him to be happy?
**Jim:** Absolutely.
**Colin:** Then what’s the issue? Love is love, Jim. Whether you’re a husband and wife, or husband and...husband. Or whatever the hell you’ll be.
**Jim:** (rubbing temples) It’s not just that. I’m worried about the changes. And the questions. What do I call him now? Babe? Bro? Do we still share clothes?
**Colin:** (laughing) Look, Jim, relationships are all about adapting. You’ll figure it out. Just don’t start borrowing his boxers.
**Jim:** (smirking) That’s your advice?
**Colin:** (serious) No, my real advice is to keep talking to him. Communicate. You’re a comedian, not a mime. Use your words.
**Jim:** (nodding) Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a lot to process. I feel like I’m in a sitcom.
**Colin:** (grinning) Well, if this is a sitcom, you’re the quirky neighbor who finally gets a decent storyline.
**Jim:** (laughs) Thanks, Colin. You know, maybe I’ll work this into my act.
**Colin:** (patting his shoulder) Now you’re talking. Comedy is tragedy plus time. And in your case, a little gender confusion.
**Jim:** (standing up) Alright, I better go. Got a lot to figure out.
**Colin:** (smirking) And Jim?
**Jim:** Yeah?
**Colin:** Don’t forget to let him know you love him. That’s the punchline that really matters.
**Jim:** (smiling) Thanks, Colin. I owe you one.
**Colin:** (leaning back) You owe me a lot more than one, but we’ll start with that.
*Jim exits the room, looking more determined. Colin takes another sip of his coffee, shaking his head with a smile.*
**Colin:** (to himself) Comedy and relationships. Both need a good sense of humor.
*Fade out.*
**END**
