WWAWD feeling like a fraud

[Maybe even kiss you]

When you get a new job or a promotion, do you feel like you've tricked people into thinking you're more competent than you are? I felt like that both about my current job and about the promotion I'm getting this fall. Sometimes I wish I had Brother Joe's amazing confidence.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

You're gonna do great pal.

 

[guest]

Nice imposter syndrome, stupit

 

[UnPRePared]

There's always fear of over-estimating your own capabilities in a new situation.

Whether you're trained or just thrown in the fire, new territory brings that anxiousness out of you, it's just something a lot of lads don't like to admit.

Embrace the fear, that's how you start to let it go. If you fail, so your bums out the window - you did your best. And if you succeed, you did better than you thought and you didn't stress yourself out.

Unless you're referring to bit accounts - in that case, those cunts can get fucked.

 

[SensibleKeks]

There's always fear of over-estimating your own capabilities in a new situation.

Whether you're trained or just thrown in the fire, new territory brings that anxiousness out of you, it's just something a lot of lads don't like to admit.

Embrace the fear, that's how you start to let it go. If you fail, so your bums out the window - you did your best. And if you succeed, you did better than you thought and you didn't stress yourself out.

Unless you're referring to bit accounts - in that case, those cunts can get fucked.

"They basically phoned me up and said, "Ray, we're not continuing." I've never really felt that I was out of the band as such; it's just that the band doesn't exist any more (laughs). When I heard that, it was just after the Cut tour, about a year and a half ago. I've read some articles saying that I was fired and stuff, but to be fair to them, they didn't phone me up and say, "Ray, you're fired. We're going to carry on and we're going to get somebody else to sing." Or, "We're going to carry on and get Phil back." There was never any of that. They just said, "We've decided not to continue because the market doesn't want us." I think they didn't want to completely close the door to ever doing anything again."

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Think of it this way. If it wasnt you in that position, it would probably be some jew.

 

[guest]

I thought that was more a woman thing - imposter syndrome. Of course you don’t want to be a Patrick; an insufferable know-it-all cunt who thinks the sun shines out of his backside, but have some confidence in yourself. You got the job/promotion because you were the best choice. Now you can prove it by learning as much as you can from those who are better than you and have knowledge you could use.

 

[UnPRePared]

"They basically phoned me up and said, "Ray, we're not continuing." I've never really felt that I was out of the band as such; it's just that the band doesn't exist any more (laughs). When I heard that, it was just after the Cut tour, about a year and a half ago. I've read some articles saying that I was fired and stuff, but to be fair to them, they didn't phone me up and say, "Ray, you're fired. We're going to carry on and we're going to get somebody else to sing." Or, "We're going to carry on and get Phil back." There was never any of that. They just said, "We've decided not to continue because the market doesn't want us." I think they didn't want to completely close the door to ever doing anything again."

If I had known this fucking quote was going to practically follow me to the grave, I would have never said it how I did.

To paraphrase a "war hero", let me be brief:

So it's the night Tony personally invited me to that reunion tour concert many years ago, which is something I've talked about a few times here, and I see Mike again (under friendlier circumstances than the Calling All Stations tour, where I could tell he was not happy with how it was going), and I happened to meet Phil for the first and only time. Tony and I get some time to talk alone, and he asks how I had been doing since they disbanded years ago.

I wasn't cross with him, as I still hold no ill will to them, but I was certainly blunt - it had been a struggle. I went from being my own person with an up and coming career, to a guy that had, in the parlance of the media, been "fired" by one of the most popular bands in the world. And it was only recently that I had just begun to bounce back from that stigma by touring Europe on my own. He seemed surprised to hear it got that bad, but I had lost my bloody house during that period. That was my absolute lowest.

But regardless of it all, I still didn't regret joining. It was my choice to make, and if the hardships were part of that, it was worth the attempt. I could still say I was the lead singer for one of the biggest bands in the world. The one real ego shot from it was having no say in how my tenure ended. BUT, it was  their band. Not mine.

Tony told me that he respected that and reiterated he always felt I did right by them. That was where we left it.

So yes, I have my own viewpoint on it, and I take a more "glass half full" approach, because why not? If I view that I was fired, then I'm just being a bitter cunt. I'd be inferring I was fired if I looked at it that way. Instead, they ended the band outright for years, thinking there was never any going forward with something new.

Reuniting with Phil was something Tony had even said to me was unexpected, and when they did reunite, it was purely just a greatest hits tour, nothing new. That's no knock on them. And they were quite successful at it, too, God bless them.

Oh, was I finished? Well, I'll allow you to retort.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Anytime I’ve felt this way, I found myself stepping my game up without even realizing it. You’ll get there, just trust that any open questions you have about your role or what you are able to deliver will get answered and you just need to go through the process.

It’s a good thing.

Nice real advice, stupid.