WWAW your best friend dying unexpectedly?

[Handsome_Pat]

My best friend of 25 years died last year unexpectedly. My wife and I handled all the funeral, memorial, estate arrangements for his parents. We even did a quick clean of his place to remove anything embarrassing before his family got in there. I actually got the call from the morgue so I had to be the one to tell his mom, dad & older brother. We live in the same neighborhood as his parents so I’ve been very good about going over to their house and hanging out with them at least 1-2 times per week for the last year.

Thinking I need to pull back a little bit from the family so they can learn to process- ex. I watch South Park with his mom for a bit every Sunday because she likes the show, they used to do that together & she can’t watch it alone without getting very upset. For anyone who has gone through something similar, any advice here?

Also, if anyone is in the market for a new best friend- I enjoy mountaineering, Jiu Jitsu, drinking, shit posting about a certain morbidly obese science non fiction author, and traveling. Plus, if you die unexpectedly I’ll take care of everything.

 

[guest]

You’re a good dude. You said he had a brother so taking care of his parents isn’t your job, it’s his. Unless you actually like hanging out with these people, dial it back. Don’t ghost them, just go over there less and less often.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Nigel Igger sends his condolences

 

[Bernard Murphy]

You’re a good dude. You said he had a brother so taking care of his parents isn’t your job, it’s his. Unless you actually like hanging out with these people, dial it back. Don’t ghost them, just go over there less and less often.

I agree with this. You went above and beyond not just for a friend, but for his family. You did your part, and if you feel like you want to distance a bit, you should.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

How'd he die, mountaineering perchance?

 

[Turk February]

2 of my closest friends since childhood died in quick succession. (lol, opioid epidemic is a bummer) Attended neither funeral (why bother, whatever made the friend a person wasn't there) and never talked to their families again (wasn't friends with them, i was friends with the dead people).

 

[Handsome_Pat]

You’re a good dude. You said he had a brother so taking care of his parents isn’t your job, it’s his. Unless you actually like hanging out with these people, dial it back. Don’t ghost them, just go over there less and less often.

They are like family. My buddy wasn’t really close with his brother, so his parents like having me around to tell them stories about their son. Plus he is kind of weird. I enjoy hanging but I’m worried it’s impeding their ability to process / grieve.

How'd he die, mountaineering perchance?

Not a Troy Quan situation. He had a heart attack after drinking and taking an aderall. Just sort of a freak thing.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

Attended neither funeral (why bother, whatever made the friend a person wasn't there)

You attend the funeral for the family, Anthony.

and never talked to their families again (wasn't friends with them, i was friends with the dead people).

 

[chocolatehellhole]

He had a heart attack after drinking and taking an aderall. Just sort of a freak thing

Makes sense, there's plenty of times I thought my chest was going to explode when I was doing all sorts of uppers and drinking. Probably not far from being a similar story.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Nigel Igger sends his condolences

Whoever first came up with that deserves to be blown before, during and after the jacuzzi.

 

[Handsome_Pat]

Makes sense, there's plenty of times I thought my chest was going to explode when I was doing all sorts of uppers and drinking. Probably not far from being a similar story.

If you are over weight I’d recommend you no longer do that. Or just don’t drink that much while doing it.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I thought about saying something mean but I feel like I’m getting soft as I approach my mid twenties, whhaaayyy?

 

[chocolatehellhole]

If you are over weight I’d recommend you no longer do that. Or just don’t drink that much while doing it.

I quit all hard drugs several years ago, stick to the shandies these days . And haven't gained a pound since high school, enjoy prison.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

I’m getting soft as I approach my mid twenties

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

View attachment 113488

He sure looks hard to me.

 

[gassers]

dont have friends. so don't know.

 

[Handsome_Pat]

I thought about saying something mean but I feel like I’m getting soft as I approach my mid twenties, whhaaayyy?

Say it, queer.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Say it, queer.

How did he die, a shotgun with a toe trigger attachment? Slipping in a puddle of AIDS?

 

[Stent]

quack

 

[guest]

My best friend of 25 years died last year unexpectedly. My wife and I handled all the funeral, memorial, estate arrangements for his parents. We even did a quick clean of his place to remove anything embarrassing before his family got in there. I actually got the call from the morgue so I had to be the one to tell his mom, dad & older brother. We live in the same neighborhood as his parents so I’ve been very good about going over to their house and hanging out with them at least 1-2 times per week for the last year.

Thinking I need to pull back a little bit from the family so they can learn to process- ex. I watch South Park with his mom for a bit every Sunday because she likes the show, they used to do that together & she can’t watch it alone without getting very upset. For anyone who has gone through something similar, any advice here?

Also, if anyone is in the market for a new best friend- I enjoy mountaineering, Jiu Jitsu, drinking, shit posting about a certain morbidly obese science non fiction author, and traveling. Plus, if you die unexpectedly I’ll take care of everything.

God bless you, sir. The world can be a scary place for lonely people. Good on you for lending a hand but @JerkStoreJ is right about how close to get.