Wonderfest update: patty didnt make it

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

"It's my little heaven."

Isn't Wonderfest where Ade fell in love with Jon and his gigantic cock?

Patrick cuckold status CONFIRMED.

 

[EraGodless]

In a couple days, my wife and I will get in the car, drive six hours, and be surrounded by people who have loved me without preamble or condition for many, many years. Before I was published. Before I had a following. People who earned calling me "Pat."

It's my little heaven.

So I'm going to share a little #WonderFest story. It's not going to make sense to most of you.

WonderFest is a global mecha in Louisville, KY every year for unfortunate kids like me who never grew out of building model spaceships.

I have friends on every continent except Antarctica because of WonderFest. My newlywed wife and I spent a night outside Liverpool on our honeymoon staying with friends we made at WonderFest. It's a thing, and no, you're not invited if you can't build. Anyway...

...about ten years ago, a shitboat of us sci-fi model nerds were in a hotel suite getting our faces torn off by Molson XXX beer that had probably been smuggled across the Canadian border illegally by a Canuck compatriot.

We're three days into this Con. No one has eaten real food. Booze is flowing like Niagara. We're all talking shit. The Canuck looks like he's been passed out for an hour, chin on chest. We're jawing about WWII fighters for some reason.

I, being drunk, in an offhand fashion, talk about Canada's contribution to the war effort, which was considerable and honorable, and accidentally refer to the roundels on their planes as "Oak leafs."

Friends, I've been in real fights. I have seen people come to life and stand up at the slightest provocation.

But I have never seen anything like that Canadian resurrecting himself up off the suite's couch when I fucked up the tree species on the Canadian flag.

Blappy (we call him Blappy, no one knows why) openned his eyes, rose up off the couch like Nosferatu, and got right in my face shouting, "Oakleaf, motherfucker! Do I call it the Asterisks and Ribbons, you piece of shit!?"

Remember, we're in Louisville, KY, as all four-foot-nothing of this boiling cauldron of maple syrup jumps up in my grill.

What does everyone in the room do as Captain Ottawa lights off and insults our flag?

Laughs. At me. For fucking up Canada's flag.

I still hear about it.

We would all kill for Blappy. We have people who come from Canada, New Zealand, England, Hong Kong, Japan... every year. And they're family. Our big, dumb, drunk family.

They're not family you fucking loser- they are randos, and if they heard that you had died, they would say, "that's a shame." And they would go on with the rest of their day.

 

[Sink Inspector]

Keep an eye out for him at CONvergence, Aug 11-14 in Minneapolis, he may go to that.

 

[Harry Powell]

I want to place my left forearm across his neck with my right arm folded pressed on his right ear and the left hand grabbing the right elbow while the right hand thumb down pushes the rear of his neck into my left forearm and squeeze it until his purpled face and legs go slack. Not in minecraft or maybe in it, but the feeling of his life draining out would be a fun thing to experience. He is the worst living thing on earth.

The very fact that he wrote “before I had a following”, as if he’s an actual thought leader and celebrity, just fills me with animalistic rage

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

now he won't be able to celebrate the anniversary of ade sitting on the fire hydrant that is Jon's Cock

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Lads....fuck off pat you wannabe brit. Pat must have not finished a model to submit. He has been going to this since at least 2014. He must be devistated. Kinda messed up that those people lied to him about missing him. It was probably the best Wonderfest in many years without him there. Plus they dont have him freeloading off the free booze.

The Lappening happened in 2011 at the same place :-)

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

now he won't be able to celebrate the anniversary of ade sitting on the fire hydrant that is Jon's Cock

On this spot 29 year Adrienne sat on a lap that introduced her to feeling an actual Penis in 2011.

 

[peckafacce]

The fact that he thinks he'll have the funds to go next year is hilarious

They look pretty close for brother and sister

 

[Cygnus Nana X-1]

His sense of self grandeur is among the most extreme and ridiculous I've experienced. He takes every mundane act and turns it in to a Nobel Prize achievement or grand event.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

On this spot 29 year Adrienne sat on a lap that introduced her to feeling an actual Penis in 2011.

it's marked with a monument now - the Eternal Puddle

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

it's marked with a monument now - the Eternal Puddle

They built a monument to Jon’s Pringle can cock in Ypsilanti, Michigan. A college town not too far from Novi where Pat seems to visit everytime he’s in “Detroit” child.

 

[CuntFucker .]

"Next years, lads"

Throw yourself in front of a lorry, you faggot.

 

[Will Tate]

They built a monument to Jon’s Pringle can cock in Ypsilanti, Michigan. A college town not too far from Novi where Pat seems to visit everytime he’s in “Detroit” child.

View attachment 46620

They wanted to make it actual size but ran out of materials.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

They wanted to make it actual size but ran out of materials.

That’s what the plaque says!