It's torquila and wings Friday up here at HQ so naturally it's time to talk shop now we got a 2 beer buzz goin'.
As you know, there's more or less nothing we can do to fire a single one of you. With that being said we feel the need to discuss the (fairly) new kid. Many of you may have met Thomas Meadow. If not, he's the one who constantly promises to kill himself without ever delivering on dying.
We'll not lie. Some of the new fish we've been sent have been real shit the bed level shit. You'd think we could just can people, but nooooo. Not in Sleepy Joe's America. There have been some colourful ones but this one seemed just a little too good to be true right?
Well Thomas has a secret he hasn't shared with everyone, a secret so deeply buried it bridges a lot of the gaps in his story.
Thomas is actually a federal agent who has been squeezing us for months. The whole 'I'm gonna kill myself' routine was a ruse to disarm us and gain access to our emails (hence the whole HR meltdown episode that we've been reluctant to comment on). Subsequently, we've given up all your IP addresses and contact information in exchange for immunity against prosecution for felony cyberatalking. The knock finally came guys. Good luck to those of you who can afford legal representation.
Anyway, we're closing up and moving to Laos.
As you know, there's more or less nothing we can do to fire a single one of you. With that being said we feel the need to discuss the (fairly) new kid. Many of you may have met Thomas Meadow. If not, he's the one who constantly promises to kill himself without ever delivering on dying.
We'll not lie. Some of the new fish we've been sent have been real shit the bed level shit. You'd think we could just can people, but nooooo. Not in Sleepy Joe's America. There have been some colourful ones but this one seemed just a little too good to be true right?
Well Thomas has a secret he hasn't shared with everyone, a secret so deeply buried it bridges a lot of the gaps in his story.
Thomas is actually a federal agent who has been squeezing us for months. The whole 'I'm gonna kill myself' routine was a ruse to disarm us and gain access to our emails (hence the whole HR meltdown episode that we've been reluctant to comment on). Subsequently, we've given up all your IP addresses and contact information in exchange for immunity against prosecution for felony cyberatalking. The knock finally came guys. Good luck to those of you who can afford legal representation.
Anyway, we're closing up and moving to Laos.
