War story with a mate

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Talking to my mate in Security. He's telling me war stories about his job. He's a doorman at a famous sydney gay bar, Stonewall Hotel.

This was one of many gut churning tales.

Anyways, he walks into the pisser one night and sees a bloke throwin up into the urinal.

Being a bouncer my mate asks if he had too much to drink. Bloke doesnt answer. Mate repeats question. Again gets no answer.

Now my mate gets the shits. Says “Whats fuckin wrong, what did you take?”, because in Sydney you get kicked out due to responsible serving of alcohol requirements in bars or if you they see you on drugs.

Anyways, poofter looks at him and says “Load”. Mate says “What?”. Poofter says “Load, I swallowed a load and it was my first time”.

My friend leaves in revulsion, then later he goes to tell the Manager, who happens to be another poof.

Manager says something like “Well if you cant handle it babe, you shouldnt swallow” and does the signature wrist flip faggots are known for.

Fuckin faggots man, I dont get it. They really are a bunch of degenerate, fuckin rapists.


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[guest]

"in Sydney you get kicked out due to responsible serving of alcohol requirements in bars or if you they see you on drugs."

Jesus, your government loves micromanaging it's citizens....

 

[guest]

Poor guy. He tries to be a good boy by swallowing a hot load and now he gets shamed for it on an internet forum full of degenerates.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

"in Sydney you get kicked out due to responsible serving of alcohol requirements in bars or if you they see you on drugs."

Jesus, your government loves micromanaging it's citizens....

yeah its really fucked. as soon as you show signs of intoxication security kicks you out

 

[guest]

yeah its really fucked. as soon as you show signs of intoxication security kicks you out

Bunch of fawking party poopers down under, if you ask me.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

yeah its really fucked. as soon as you show signs of intoxication security kicks you out

So do people just not get drunk in bars or is everyone good at faking it? I only got kicked out of a bar once and it was cause I drunkenly nodded off on a bar stool.

 

[guest]

So do people just not get drunk or is everyone good at faking it? I only got kicked out of a bar once and it was cause I drunkenly nodded off on a bar stool.

Have you ever met an Australian who’s not a drunk? No offence to @The Torquis de Lard

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Have you ever met an Australian who’s not a drunk?

Sure, but never in Australia

 

[Dennyislife]

"for we are young and free" is one of the most ironic lyrics in any national anthem. Australia always looks like a worst of the UK and the US to me.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

I share war stories with anesthesiologists:

anesthesiologist: I had one girl, slight of frame, & gave her 300mg of sodium thiopental IV & she sat-up & started singing like she was at an irish wake.

Me: I feel ya' dude. I had this prostitute round who said she'd smoked heroin before, I passed her the foil & she lit it but sucked-up the whole 50p sized piece & passed-out. I had to put 2 ecstasy pills up her ass to bring her round. She was hypersexual after that

 

[Fat Lispy Faggot]

yeah its really fucked. as soon as you show signs of intoxication security kicks you out

Good. I used to work a similar job and the amount of trouble shit cunts who don't know when enough is enough is astronomical and fuck up everything for everyone else. They're also generally the first to get mobbed and then end up in some back room crying their faggot eyes out with chipped teeth and no shoes.

 

[WhereWeAt]

"Thanks for calling the Opie and Anthony F You Line"

"G'day. I wanted to register a formal complaint with my manager for his nonchalance and sheer unprofessionalism. I found a bloke in a mess of his own sick at the urinal, and it turned out he was on the receiving end of a gobby. Rather than send a clear message about the standards of our establishment, he simply laughed off the incident. Fuck you, mate!"

 

[guest]

yeah its really fucked. as soon as you show signs of intoxication security kicks you out

What happened to you guys? I've never been to Australia, but didn't you used to be macho, beer drinking, aussie rules playing, no nonsense blokes? Or was that never the case?

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

What happened to you guys? I've never been to Australia, but didn't you used to be macho, beer drinking, aussie rules playing, no nonsense blokes? Or was that never the case?

Its a long overplayed stereotype. Kinda started going to shit in the 90s and by early 2000s we become overrun by faggotry.

Most people are cool, except the middle easterns. Cunts are a fucking plague. But overall its just a fuckin nanny state now.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

So do people just not get drunk in bars or is everyone good at faking it? I only got kicked out of a bar once and it was cause I drunkenly nodded off on a bar stool.

People still get pissed, but because of overregulation by police, and the liquor licensing nazis, they are quicker to throw you out.

I do part time work as an RSA marshall in Sydney. An RSA (responsible service of alcohol) marshall doesnt need a security licence, but clubs still get us to do security work even though its not technically allowed.

Still, there are some clubs that dont give a fuck, and let pissed fuckers come and go all night.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Something like that happened a while ago in the UK. The guy had his stomach pumped and it turned out there was semen from 18 different men. My cousin heard it from one of the nurses.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Something like that happened a while ago in the UK. The guy had his stomach pumped and it turned out there was semen from 18 different men. My cousin heard it from one of the nurses.

Was that guy an exiled radio host? If so, its totally true.

 

[Jim Norton’s Wife's Cock]

What happened to you guys? I've never been to Australia, but didn't you used to be macho, beer drinking, aussie rules playing, no nonsense blokes? Or was that never the case?

We do it here tbh, i used to work in nightclubs/bars in Newcastle. And if someone turns up absolutely shitfaced the bouncers wouldn't let them in. On the other hand, i've been in some working class pubs in rough areas and seen people doing lines off the tables in front of the bar staff lol.

 

[guest]

We do it here tbh, i used to work in nightclubs/bars in Newcastle. And if someone turns up absolutely shitfaced the bouncers wouldn't let them in. On the other hand, i've been in some working class pubs in rough areas and seen people doing lines off the tables in front of the bar staff lol.

Yeah, course, if you turn up visibly pissed you're probably not getting in and if you're falling over or puking you're getting chucked out, but the guy made it sound like they had marshals walking round looking for anyone who's had more than a few so they can turf them.

I worked in a bar for a bit where one of the bouncers used to routinely go in the bogs to bust people doing charlie, chuck them out, take their coke and sell it to other punters. Big black cunt. Don't know what happened to him, but surprised if he didn't get stabbed.

 

[Prince Bvstin]

A lot of countries put legal responsibility on the bar/server if the punter gets injured after drinking too much. I was drinking in some UK bar one time. I came outside for a smoke and the security refused to let me back in because I was drunk. I asked him what exactly he thought was going on in there but he didn't care much for my "banter"