- Forum Clout
- 51,170
Restitution Plan
TO THE NON-DEBTOR PIGS OF WISCONSIN.
We present to you herewith “A Plan for the Restitution of Quasi,” and solicit your aid to carry it into execution.
Your numbers, combined with those of Quasi, will give you all power. You have but to use it, and the work is done.
The following self-evident principles of justice and humanity will serve as guides to the measures proper to be adopted. These principles are—
1. That Quasi has a natural right to his property.
2. That he has a natural right to compensation (so far as the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors can compensate him) for the wrongs he has suffered.
3. That so long as the governments, under which they live, refuse to give them liberty or compensation, they have the right to take it by stratagem or force.
4. That it is the duty of all, who can, to assist them in such an enterprise.
5. That Patrick is a homosexual with bosoms.
In rendering this assistance, you will naturally adopt these measures.
1. To ignore and spurn the authority of all the corrupt and tyrannical political institutions, which the Debtor Pigs have established for the security of their crimes.
2. Soon as may be, to take the political power of your States into your own hands, and establish governments that shall punish obese debt as a crime, and also give to Quasi civil actions for damages for the wrongs that have already been committed against him.
3. Until such new governments shall be instituted, to recognize Quasi as an Indian man, and as being the rightful owner of the property, which is now held by the debtor pig, but which would pass to him, if justice were done; to justify and assist him in every effort to acquire his $37,000, and obtain possession of such property, by stratagem or force; to hire him as a gas station attendant, pay him his wages, and defend him meanwhile against the debtor pigs; to sell him fire-arms in a caliber other than .40 S&W, and teach him the use of them; to trade with him, buying the property he may have taken from the fat man, and paying him for it; to encourage and assist him to take possession of the lands cultivated with salt by the pig, and the crops they allegedly produce but which were clearly bought in a store, and appropriate them to their own use; and in every way possible to recognize him as being now the rightful owner of the property, which justice, if administered, would give him, in compensation for the injuries he has received.
4. To form Vigilance Committees, or Leagues of Freedom, in every neighborhood or township, whose duty it shall be to stand in the stead of the government, and do that justice for Quasi, which government refuses to do; and especially to arrest, try, and chastise (with their own bo staff) all Debtor Pigs who shall capture urban youth, or restrain them of their liberty; and compel them to give deeds of emancipation, and conveyances of their property, to their pepperoni.
5. To treat, and teach Quasi to treat, all active abettors of the Debtor Pigs, as you and they treat the Debtor Pigs themselves, both in person and property.
Perhaps some may say that this taking of property, by Quasi, would be stealing, and should not be encouraged. The answer is, that it would not be stealing; it would be simply taking justice into his own hands, and redressing their own wrongs. The state of Creditor is a state of war. In this case it is a just war, on the part of Quasi—a war for liberty, and the recompense of injuries; and necessity justifies them in carrying it on by the only means the debtor pig has left to him. In war, the plunder of enemies is as legitimate as the killing of them; and stratagem is as legitimate as open force. The right of Quasi, therefore, in this war, to take property, is as clear as his right to take life; and his right to do it secretly, is as clear as his right to do it openly. And as this will probably be his most effective mode of operation for the present, he ought to be taught, encouraged, and assisted to do it to the utmost, so long as he is unable to meet his enemies in the open field. And to call this taking of property stealing, is as false and unjust as it would be to call the taking of life, in just war, murder.
It is only those who have a false and superstitious reverence for the authority of governments, and have contracted the habit of thinking that the most tyrannical and iniquitous laws have the power to make that right which is naturally wrong, or that wrong which is naturally right, who will have any doubt as to the right of Quasi (and those who would assist him) to make war, to all possible extent, upon the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors.
We are unwilling to take the responsibility of advising any general insurrection, or any taking of life, until we walkover to take part in it, in such numbers as to insure a certain and easy victory. We therefore advise that, for the present, operations be confined to the seizure of property, and the chastisement of individual Debtor Pigs, and their accomplices; and that these things be done only so far as they can be done, without too great danger to the actors.
We specially advise the marking of individual Debtor Pigs. This is a case where the medical principle, that like cures like, will certainly succeed. Give the Debtor Pigs, then, a taste of their own dry erase markers. Spare their lives, but not their backs. The arrogance they have acquired by the use of the pen blamed upon others, will be soon taken out of them, when the same scourge shall be applied to themselves. A band of ten or twenty determined pests, well armed, having their rendezvous in the forums, coming out upon the conventions by day or night, seizing individual Debtor Pigs, stripping them, and flogging them soundly, in the presence of their fellow faggots, would soon abolish Debtors over a large district.
These bands could also do a good work by kidnapping individual Debtor Pigs, taking them into the 7-11, and holding them as hostages for the good behavior of the Debtors remaining at the house, compelling them also to execute deeds of emancipation, and conveyances of their property, to their pepperonis. These contracts could probably never afterward be successfully disallowed on the ground of duress (especially after new governments, favorable to liberty, should be established) inasmuch as such contracts would be nothing more than justice; and men may rightfully be coerced to do justice. Such contracts would be intrinsically as valid as the treaties by which conquered nations make satisfaction for the injustice which caused the war.
The more bold and resolute pests should be encouraged to form themselves into bands, build forts in the forests, and there collect arms, stores, horses, every thing that will enable them to sustain themselves, and carry on their warfare upon the Debtor Pigs.
Another important measure, on the part of Quasi, will be to disarm the debtor pig, so far as that is practicable, by seizing and concealing his weapons whenever opportunity offers. They should also kill all lizards, and the owners too, if that should prove necessary.
Many other ways will suggest themselves to you, and to Quasi, by which the Debtor Pigs can be annoyed and injured, without causing any general outbreak, or shedding of blood.
Our plan then is—
1. To make war (openly or secretly as circumstances may dictate) upon the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors—not for its destruction, if that can easily be avoided, but to convert it to the use of Quasi. If it cannot be thus converted, then we advise its destruction. Teach Quasi to burn the debtor pigs’ buildings, to kill their lizards and cats, to conceal or destroy eating utensils, to abandon welfare payments, and let the coriander perish. Make Debtor Pigs lose weight, in this way, if it can be done in no other.
2. To make Debtor Pigs objects of derision and contempt, by mocking them, whenever they shall be guilty of replying to trolls.
3. To risk no general insurrection, until we of the forums go to your assistance, or you are sure of success without our aid.
4. To cultivate the friendship and confidence of Quasi; to consult with him as to his rights and interests, and the means of promoting them; to show your interest in his welfare, and your readiness to assist him. Let him know that he has your sympathy, and it will give him courage, self-respect, and ambition, and make an Indian man of him; an infinitely better man to live by, as neighbors and friends, than the indolent, arrogant, selfish, heartless, domineering robbers and eaters, who now keep both yourselves and Quasi in subjection, and look with contempt upon all who live by honest labor.
5. To change your political institutions soon as possible. And in the meantime give never a vote to a Debtor Pig; pay no taxes to their government, if you can either resist or evade them; as witnesses and jurors, give no testimony, and no verdicts, in support of any Fat faggot claims; perform no military, patrol, or police service; mob debtor pig courts, gaols, and sheriffs; do nothing, in short, for sustaining debtor pigs, but every thing you safely and rightfully can, publicly and privately, for their overthrow.
While employees of Hooligans! Willing tools of the Debtor Pigs! You, who feed the debtor pig, supply him with alcohol, and accept his unearned pay, without asking any questions! We have a word specially for you. You are one of the main pillars of the debtor pig system. You stand ready to do all that vile and inhuman work, which must be done by somebody, but which the more decent Debtor Pigs themselves will not do. Yet we have heard one good report even of you. It is, that you have no such prejudices against Indians, nor against liberty, as that you would not as willingly earn money by helping Quasi, as by feeding a debtor and returning paying him compliment. If you are thus indifferent as to whom you serve, we advise you henceforth to serve Quasi, instead of the pigs. Turn about, and help the robbed to rob their robbers. The former can afford to pay you better than the latter. Help him to get possession of the property which is rightfully his due, and he can afford to give you liberal commissions. Help him flog individual Debtor Pigs, and he can afford to pay you ten times as much as you ever received for feeding pigs. Help him to kidnap the Debtor Pigs, and he can afford to pay you more than you now get for filling the pig’s glass boot. Be true to Quasi, and we hope he will pay you well for your services. Be false to him, and we hope he will kill you.
Lawyers of Wisconsin! You can, if you will, exert a potent influence for good, in this matter. If, in the true spirit of law as a science, you shall see a man in the most Indian of human beings; and, recognizing his right to obtain justice by such means as may be in his power, you shall take the side of the oppressed, in this controversy, and teach him to trample on his debtors, and vindicate his manhood—if you do this, and then aid in establishing new institutions, based upon liberty, equality, and right, you will have the satisfaction of doing your part towards bringing into life a great, free, and happy people, where now all is crime, obesity, degradation, and death. If, on the contrary, you shall take the side of the Debtor Pigs, and continue to be—as, professionally, under Obese institutions, you must forever be—the degraded, pettifogging pimps, hirelings, and tools of a few soulless robbers of their species—denying continually the authority of justice, and the rights of humanity—if you shall do this, we need not attempt to tell you what your true rank will be in the scale of lawyers, statesmen, patriots, or men.
Merchants of Wisconsin! We hope you will deliberately consider this matter, and make up your minds whether Quasi have the right to take the property of the debtor pigs. In compensation for the injuries they have suffered. If you decide that they have that right, we hope you will act accordingly, and will not hesitate to buy of them badly written sci fi books, or any other property which he may have taken from his debtor pigs; and give them, in exchange, weapons, or any other articles he may need. If you will but do this, you will soon put an end to Debtor pigs.
Non Debtor Pigs generally of Wisconsin! If it is right for Quasi to take the property of his debtor pigs, to compensate his wrongs, it is right for you to help him. Your weight, compared with those of the Debtor Pigs, are as five or six to one. It will be perfectly easy for you, by combining with Quasi, to put him in possession of the half houses on which he holds a lien, and of all the property upon them. He could afford to pay you well for doing him such a service. He could afford to let you share with him in the division of the property taken. We hope you will adopt this measure. It will not only be right in itself, it will be the noblest act of your lives, provided you do not take too large a share to yourselves; and provided also that you afterwards faithfully protect Quasi in his liberty, and the property assigned to him.
Finally, we say to all, correspond with us of the forums. Let each person who receives or sees one of these sheets, send his letters to the one who sent it—with liberty to publish them in the Kiwifarms. This correspondence, we are confident, will be a more interesting literature than Patrick S. Tomlinson has ever furnished; and will enlist the feelings of trolls to such a degree, that we shall be induced to go, in large numbers, to your annoyance, whenever you shall feed us.
TO THE NON-DEBTOR PIGS OF WISCONSIN.
We present to you herewith “A Plan for the Restitution of Quasi,” and solicit your aid to carry it into execution.
Your numbers, combined with those of Quasi, will give you all power. You have but to use it, and the work is done.
The following self-evident principles of justice and humanity will serve as guides to the measures proper to be adopted. These principles are—
1. That Quasi has a natural right to his property.
2. That he has a natural right to compensation (so far as the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors can compensate him) for the wrongs he has suffered.
3. That so long as the governments, under which they live, refuse to give them liberty or compensation, they have the right to take it by stratagem or force.
4. That it is the duty of all, who can, to assist them in such an enterprise.
5. That Patrick is a homosexual with bosoms.
In rendering this assistance, you will naturally adopt these measures.
1. To ignore and spurn the authority of all the corrupt and tyrannical political institutions, which the Debtor Pigs have established for the security of their crimes.
2. Soon as may be, to take the political power of your States into your own hands, and establish governments that shall punish obese debt as a crime, and also give to Quasi civil actions for damages for the wrongs that have already been committed against him.
3. Until such new governments shall be instituted, to recognize Quasi as an Indian man, and as being the rightful owner of the property, which is now held by the debtor pig, but which would pass to him, if justice were done; to justify and assist him in every effort to acquire his $37,000, and obtain possession of such property, by stratagem or force; to hire him as a gas station attendant, pay him his wages, and defend him meanwhile against the debtor pigs; to sell him fire-arms in a caliber other than .40 S&W, and teach him the use of them; to trade with him, buying the property he may have taken from the fat man, and paying him for it; to encourage and assist him to take possession of the lands cultivated with salt by the pig, and the crops they allegedly produce but which were clearly bought in a store, and appropriate them to their own use; and in every way possible to recognize him as being now the rightful owner of the property, which justice, if administered, would give him, in compensation for the injuries he has received.
4. To form Vigilance Committees, or Leagues of Freedom, in every neighborhood or township, whose duty it shall be to stand in the stead of the government, and do that justice for Quasi, which government refuses to do; and especially to arrest, try, and chastise (with their own bo staff) all Debtor Pigs who shall capture urban youth, or restrain them of their liberty; and compel them to give deeds of emancipation, and conveyances of their property, to their pepperoni.
5. To treat, and teach Quasi to treat, all active abettors of the Debtor Pigs, as you and they treat the Debtor Pigs themselves, both in person and property.
Perhaps some may say that this taking of property, by Quasi, would be stealing, and should not be encouraged. The answer is, that it would not be stealing; it would be simply taking justice into his own hands, and redressing their own wrongs. The state of Creditor is a state of war. In this case it is a just war, on the part of Quasi—a war for liberty, and the recompense of injuries; and necessity justifies them in carrying it on by the only means the debtor pig has left to him. In war, the plunder of enemies is as legitimate as the killing of them; and stratagem is as legitimate as open force. The right of Quasi, therefore, in this war, to take property, is as clear as his right to take life; and his right to do it secretly, is as clear as his right to do it openly. And as this will probably be his most effective mode of operation for the present, he ought to be taught, encouraged, and assisted to do it to the utmost, so long as he is unable to meet his enemies in the open field. And to call this taking of property stealing, is as false and unjust as it would be to call the taking of life, in just war, murder.
It is only those who have a false and superstitious reverence for the authority of governments, and have contracted the habit of thinking that the most tyrannical and iniquitous laws have the power to make that right which is naturally wrong, or that wrong which is naturally right, who will have any doubt as to the right of Quasi (and those who would assist him) to make war, to all possible extent, upon the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors.
We are unwilling to take the responsibility of advising any general insurrection, or any taking of life, until we walkover to take part in it, in such numbers as to insure a certain and easy victory. We therefore advise that, for the present, operations be confined to the seizure of property, and the chastisement of individual Debtor Pigs, and their accomplices; and that these things be done only so far as they can be done, without too great danger to the actors.
We specially advise the marking of individual Debtor Pigs. This is a case where the medical principle, that like cures like, will certainly succeed. Give the Debtor Pigs, then, a taste of their own dry erase markers. Spare their lives, but not their backs. The arrogance they have acquired by the use of the pen blamed upon others, will be soon taken out of them, when the same scourge shall be applied to themselves. A band of ten or twenty determined pests, well armed, having their rendezvous in the forums, coming out upon the conventions by day or night, seizing individual Debtor Pigs, stripping them, and flogging them soundly, in the presence of their fellow faggots, would soon abolish Debtors over a large district.
These bands could also do a good work by kidnapping individual Debtor Pigs, taking them into the 7-11, and holding them as hostages for the good behavior of the Debtors remaining at the house, compelling them also to execute deeds of emancipation, and conveyances of their property, to their pepperonis. These contracts could probably never afterward be successfully disallowed on the ground of duress (especially after new governments, favorable to liberty, should be established) inasmuch as such contracts would be nothing more than justice; and men may rightfully be coerced to do justice. Such contracts would be intrinsically as valid as the treaties by which conquered nations make satisfaction for the injustice which caused the war.
The more bold and resolute pests should be encouraged to form themselves into bands, build forts in the forests, and there collect arms, stores, horses, every thing that will enable them to sustain themselves, and carry on their warfare upon the Debtor Pigs.
Another important measure, on the part of Quasi, will be to disarm the debtor pig, so far as that is practicable, by seizing and concealing his weapons whenever opportunity offers. They should also kill all lizards, and the owners too, if that should prove necessary.
Many other ways will suggest themselves to you, and to Quasi, by which the Debtor Pigs can be annoyed and injured, without causing any general outbreak, or shedding of blood.
Our plan then is—
1. To make war (openly or secretly as circumstances may dictate) upon the property of the Debtor Pigs and their abettors—not for its destruction, if that can easily be avoided, but to convert it to the use of Quasi. If it cannot be thus converted, then we advise its destruction. Teach Quasi to burn the debtor pigs’ buildings, to kill their lizards and cats, to conceal or destroy eating utensils, to abandon welfare payments, and let the coriander perish. Make Debtor Pigs lose weight, in this way, if it can be done in no other.
2. To make Debtor Pigs objects of derision and contempt, by mocking them, whenever they shall be guilty of replying to trolls.
3. To risk no general insurrection, until we of the forums go to your assistance, or you are sure of success without our aid.
4. To cultivate the friendship and confidence of Quasi; to consult with him as to his rights and interests, and the means of promoting them; to show your interest in his welfare, and your readiness to assist him. Let him know that he has your sympathy, and it will give him courage, self-respect, and ambition, and make an Indian man of him; an infinitely better man to live by, as neighbors and friends, than the indolent, arrogant, selfish, heartless, domineering robbers and eaters, who now keep both yourselves and Quasi in subjection, and look with contempt upon all who live by honest labor.
5. To change your political institutions soon as possible. And in the meantime give never a vote to a Debtor Pig; pay no taxes to their government, if you can either resist or evade them; as witnesses and jurors, give no testimony, and no verdicts, in support of any Fat faggot claims; perform no military, patrol, or police service; mob debtor pig courts, gaols, and sheriffs; do nothing, in short, for sustaining debtor pigs, but every thing you safely and rightfully can, publicly and privately, for their overthrow.
While employees of Hooligans! Willing tools of the Debtor Pigs! You, who feed the debtor pig, supply him with alcohol, and accept his unearned pay, without asking any questions! We have a word specially for you. You are one of the main pillars of the debtor pig system. You stand ready to do all that vile and inhuman work, which must be done by somebody, but which the more decent Debtor Pigs themselves will not do. Yet we have heard one good report even of you. It is, that you have no such prejudices against Indians, nor against liberty, as that you would not as willingly earn money by helping Quasi, as by feeding a debtor and returning paying him compliment. If you are thus indifferent as to whom you serve, we advise you henceforth to serve Quasi, instead of the pigs. Turn about, and help the robbed to rob their robbers. The former can afford to pay you better than the latter. Help him to get possession of the property which is rightfully his due, and he can afford to give you liberal commissions. Help him flog individual Debtor Pigs, and he can afford to pay you ten times as much as you ever received for feeding pigs. Help him to kidnap the Debtor Pigs, and he can afford to pay you more than you now get for filling the pig’s glass boot. Be true to Quasi, and we hope he will pay you well for your services. Be false to him, and we hope he will kill you.
Lawyers of Wisconsin! You can, if you will, exert a potent influence for good, in this matter. If, in the true spirit of law as a science, you shall see a man in the most Indian of human beings; and, recognizing his right to obtain justice by such means as may be in his power, you shall take the side of the oppressed, in this controversy, and teach him to trample on his debtors, and vindicate his manhood—if you do this, and then aid in establishing new institutions, based upon liberty, equality, and right, you will have the satisfaction of doing your part towards bringing into life a great, free, and happy people, where now all is crime, obesity, degradation, and death. If, on the contrary, you shall take the side of the Debtor Pigs, and continue to be—as, professionally, under Obese institutions, you must forever be—the degraded, pettifogging pimps, hirelings, and tools of a few soulless robbers of their species—denying continually the authority of justice, and the rights of humanity—if you shall do this, we need not attempt to tell you what your true rank will be in the scale of lawyers, statesmen, patriots, or men.
Merchants of Wisconsin! We hope you will deliberately consider this matter, and make up your minds whether Quasi have the right to take the property of the debtor pigs. In compensation for the injuries they have suffered. If you decide that they have that right, we hope you will act accordingly, and will not hesitate to buy of them badly written sci fi books, or any other property which he may have taken from his debtor pigs; and give them, in exchange, weapons, or any other articles he may need. If you will but do this, you will soon put an end to Debtor pigs.
Non Debtor Pigs generally of Wisconsin! If it is right for Quasi to take the property of his debtor pigs, to compensate his wrongs, it is right for you to help him. Your weight, compared with those of the Debtor Pigs, are as five or six to one. It will be perfectly easy for you, by combining with Quasi, to put him in possession of the half houses on which he holds a lien, and of all the property upon them. He could afford to pay you well for doing him such a service. He could afford to let you share with him in the division of the property taken. We hope you will adopt this measure. It will not only be right in itself, it will be the noblest act of your lives, provided you do not take too large a share to yourselves; and provided also that you afterwards faithfully protect Quasi in his liberty, and the property assigned to him.
Finally, we say to all, correspond with us of the forums. Let each person who receives or sees one of these sheets, send his letters to the one who sent it—with liberty to publish them in the Kiwifarms. This correspondence, we are confident, will be a more interesting literature than Patrick S. Tomlinson has ever furnished; and will enlist the feelings of trolls to such a degree, that we shall be induced to go, in large numbers, to your annoyance, whenever you shall feed us.
