The oft-forgotten "Nick & Artie" Show on DirecTV

[DMAN]

@LingerLonger recently mentioned the Nick & Artie Show, which I used to watch on DirecTV all the time but completely forgot existed. 2011-2013. One of the few traces of this shows existence anymore is this infamous fight they had that ended the show.

I am 100% on Artie's side in this argument. The clip starts with Nick reading sports bets, just literally naming teams. Nick gets pissed off at Artie for cracking jokes during the important sports bet list. They squabble in what is obviously Nick taking out his off-air frustrations with Artie being lazy in a situation where it didn't really apply. Artie knows he's right and is funny throughout the whole ordeal, while Nick comes off like an idiot yapping about how they have an agenda they can wrap up "in 2 minutes."

When Artie starts doing exactly what Nick just demanded he do, and goes along with the bit to get it over with, Nick gets pissed off at Artie for not cracking jokes and just answering plainly. HE JUST said "let's get this over with" in 2 minutes, and boy he wasn't exaggerating as I felt all 120 seconds of that stale lack of content where Nick named teams and Artie said the name of his team.

Once Nick finishes his dumbass boring "saying teams names" shit that sucks the air out of the room, Artie carries on with the comment he tried saying before Nick sperged on him, to which the whole room laughs along at the sarcasm. Nick becomes infuriated, projecting his dumb, boring sports picks and taking it out on Artie "Aren't you glad you found out, Didn't Artie's comment make a world of difference??" When in reality, Nick doing his sports picks routine made no difference to anyone and none of those picks ever materialized into anything, a pointless endeavour and he's yelling at Artie.

And then Nick plugs a shitty band is gonna play, like anyone gives a fuck. And some hacky bit with the twin stunt girls. Fantastic, that's why we watch Nick and Artie. To hear some terrible local band play, and to watch those goofy background broads do a bit. When the segment ends, Artie gets up and walks off without saying anything to Nick, who sits there sulking like "Did aah dew that?"

It's a tough one man. I get that working with a lying pig junkie is frustrating, but don't take it out in moments where you look like the asshole. It's funny how I can side with Artie on things like this or Joe Buck, and see him as being a perfectly rational person, and then he'll go and piss in the corner of the room. Where we at with regrettable endorsements of character?

Apparently it was very important for them to get those picks on the record. Nick ended up getting fired for this odd outburst and when the show returned, it was The Artie Lange Show with a logo that looks exactly like Erock's podcast logo. I'm glad Artie was rewarded for being innocent in this exchange.

And yet still, nothing is as boring and plain as the Artie and Anthony logo...

Not everything can be so sleek and minimalist...

Artie Lange would eventually get fired for pissing into the potted plants at the DirecTV studio and making one of those twin stunt girls clean it up.

In the background of the set, they had those tacky decor giant letters "N & A" on the windowsill. I recall Artie saying that the N standed for something other than Nick.

 

[FingerofGod]

@LingerLonger recently mentioned the Nick & Artie Show, which I used to watch on DirecTV all the time but completely forgot existed. 2011-2013. One of the few traces of this shows existence anymore is this infamous fight they had that ended the show.

I am 100% on Artie's side in this argument. The clip starts with Nick reading sports bets, just literally naming teams. Nick gets pissed off at Artie for cracking jokes during the important sports bet list. They squabble in what is obviously Nick taking out his off-air frustrations with Artie being lazy in a situation where it didn't really apply. Artie knows he's right and is funny throughout the whole ordeal, while Nick comes off like an idiot yapping about how they have an agenda they can wrap up "in 2 minutes."

When Artie starts doing exactly what Nick just demanded he do, and goes along with the bit to get it over with, Nick gets pissed off at Artie for not cracking jokes and just answering plainly. HE JUST said "let's get this over with" in 2 minutes, and boy he wasn't exaggerating as I felt all 120 seconds of that stale lack of content where Nick named teams and Artie said the name of his team.

Once Nick finishes his dumbass boring "saying teams names" shit that sucks the air out of the room, Artie carries on with the comment he tried saying before Nick sperged on him, to which the whole room laughs along at the sarcasm. Nick becomes infuriated, projecting his dumb, boring sports picks and taking it out on Artie "Aren't you glad you found out, Didn't Artie's comment make a world of difference??" When in reality, Nick doing his sports picks routine made no difference to anyone and none of those picks ever materialized into anything, a pointless endeavour and he's yelling at Artie.

And then Nick plugs a shitty band is gonna play, like anyone gives a fuck. And some hacky bit with the twin stunt girls. Fantastic, that's why we watch Artie and Anthony. To hear some terrible local band play, and to watch those goofy background broads do a bit. When the segment ends, Artie gets up and walks off without saying anything to Nick, who sits there sulking like "Did aah dew that?"

It's a tough one man. I get that working with a lying pig junkie is frustrating, but don't take it out in moments where you look like the asshole. It's funny how I can side with Artie on things like this or Joe Buck, and see him as being a perfectly rational person, and then he'll go and piss in the corner of the room. Where we at with regrettable endorsements of character?

Apparently it was very important for them to get those picks on the record. Nick ended up getting fired for this odd outburst and when the show returned, it was The Artie Lange Show with a logo that looks exactly like Erock's podcast logo. I'm glad Artie was rewarded for being innocent in this exchange.

And yet still, nothing is as boring and plain as the Artie and Anthony logo...

Not everything can be so sleek and minimalist...

Artie Lange would eventually get fired for pissing into the potted plants at the DirecTV studio and making one of those twin stunt girls clean it up.

In the background of the set, they had those tacky decor giant letters "N & A" on the windowsill. I recall Artie saying that the N standard for something other than Nick.

Dipaolo always came across as somehow one of the meaner guys in the o&a crew but also one of the most uptight and sensitive. No wonder he moved away from everyone

 

[fusciasomething]

I’m just remembering how much I hated the twins, they acted like being a gold digging whore is endearing. I apologize to any user here that is offended by that last statement

 

[johnnynoname]

that show was proof that putting together two comics you love doesn't make for a synergy?

Nick has never broached this subject but why a sports show?

I'm sure DirectTV would have let them do a show where they just riff on topics so he can't blame Execs for wanting a sports show

 

[guest]

It's funny you tag him, because when you guys go on these long rants about da show/related shows I always think of this picture. A Nazi and the black guy have to remind us periodically why we're here.

We got lost.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

I liked Nick & Artie, and I don't even like sports. Artie ripping on that Dan Felato faggot was some funny shit.

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

Dipaolo always came across as somehow one of the meaner guys in the o&a crew but also one of the most uptight and sensitive. No wonder he moved away from everyone

Nick seems like he just expects everyone to acknowledge him as "tough guy", and then gets confused and pissed off when they don't.

 

[LingerLonger]

Nick has never broached this subject but why a sports show?

Nick seems like he just expects everyone to acknowledge him as "tough guy", and then gets confused and pissed off when they don't.

Nick played D1 football as a starter. Compared to basically any other comedian he is closer to a Navy Seal than some weirdo fag like Norton or a dweeb like Mitch Hedberg or Anthony Jeselnik or whatever. I doubt Nick ever fit in with the comedy crowd. He always wanted to be a sports announcer. His brother was a sports announcer for hockey.

Nick also used to host sports talk radio on a few stations before his Nick and Artie gig. If he wasn't a huge boomer cuck Fox News idiot he could have been an NFL announcer.

 

[Bigsmooth]

The early shows before they went to the fancy studio/were on tv are great. Loved it back then. They would team up on their producer and call him gay constantly lol. Kamaal from the Jerky boys being a guest twice & getting savaged each time is classic

 

[Udders]

I loved this show when it was on, and also later after it was just Artie. @LingerLonger is pretty good usually at this lore stuff, but let me give it a whirl.

They first hired Nick to do a sports show and paired him with former players (like Tony Siragusa, to name one) but it never clicked. Nick suggested Artie who was out of rehab and would likely draw a good audience of people who wanted to see him post-Stern. I thought the show was great, very fun and loose, they worked well together. The main problem after a while, and Artie addressed this after Nick left, was Nick is a pretty organized, strict, straight ahead guy while Artie is kind of a goofball, go with the flow type, as that on-air fight is a perfect example of. Once they started to add the twins and Bocchetti, I can see why that would frustrate a guy like Nick who probably liked to have things planned out with not a lot of room to fuck around. I'm guessing Nick also felt some pressure, it was his big break making real money on television.

Shortly before this fight, both Nick and Artie were each "out sick" for about a week each, with the conspiracy theory being that the network was seeing which host did a better show without the other. I remember this plain as day because it stuck out so much; one of the shows Nick did, he had Gilbert on and conducted perhaps the most God-awful, boring interview you would possibly imagine, with Gilbert of all people. They all said Nick chose to leave but I think the writing was on the wall. I feel for the guy, they had a three year deal at 500k per, which for Nick was probably like winning the lottery.

Theres lots of clips of the show on Youtube, but my autism compelled me to save the entire run in mp3 form that they would post online after the show. Despite its flaws, it is a lost classic with some truly funny stuff that still holds up.

 

[LingerLonger]

Nick suggested Artie who was out of rehab and would likely draw a good audience of people who wanted to see him post-Stern. I thought the show was great, very fun and loose, they worked well together. The main problem after a while, and Artie addressed this after Nick left, was Nick is a pretty organized, strict, straight ahead guy while Artie is kind of a goofball, go with the flow type, as that on-air fight is a perfect example of.

The main problem with Artie was that he was not sober. And Nick knew it. Nick basically knew that the show was going to die because of Artie and that he didn't gain anything in the long run by inviting Artie. Anthony made the same mistake as well. Getting Artie to take his Stern audience with him but in the overall picture gain nothing of substance as Artie was not reliable. It was inevitable. Joe Buck had the same misfortune as well as Artie managed to destroy his show in its first hour. I bet within the first few months that Nick was regretting hiring Artie and waiting for the show to implode and for them to lose their jobs. Artie is a destructive loser wrecking ball with no control over himself.

Nick wanted Artie for his Stern audience and that was it. He could have had Florentine or Bobby or anyone who was not a drug addict. He could have done the show alone. Stupidly he threw a drug addict a bone and it blew up in his face. Rumor is that when Nick was fired Artie went behind his back and badmouthed him to a lot of comedians and sports network producers. Most likely Artie was paranoid that Nick might accuse him of using drugs again so he preemptively struck at Nick. Also rumor was that most people who worked on the show figured that Nick would get his own show and Artie a separate show instead of firing one of them. I always assumed that Nick walked out of frustration and simply took the rest of the contract money. Imagine bringing someone on your show as a co-host and them stealing the show from you then getting fired and blacklisted from every sports network. As Artie would be blacklisted from ESPN and practically every sports network following his slave rape fantasy tirade on twitter. If the networks had stuck with Nick instead of Artie he probably would still he hosting a top tier show.

Once they started to add the twins and Bocchetti, I can see why that would frustrate a guy like Nick who probably liked to have things planned out with not a lot of room to fuck around. I'm guessing Nick also felt some pressure, it was his big break making real money on television.

Their show had three dozen radio markets, was on Sirius, and DirectTV. Instead of making the show professional Artie began sabotaging it and then finally killed it. I don't think Nick felt pressure other than trying to figure out how to get Artie fired to save his own job. And Artie likely knew that Nick hated him and being a bloated selfish drug addict loser decided to pull what Jim and Anthony and Sam did with Opie by trying to take his job. Their behind the scenes was probably worse than O&A in terms of hostility. I bet that Artie within the first week was fantasizing about how to get Nick fired.

The blonde twins I think ended up quitting show businesses entirely and both married arab businessmen for money. Gross.

They all said Nick chose to leave but I think the writing was on the wall. I feel for the guy, they had a three year deal at 500k per, which for Nick was probably like winning the lottery.

They paid him to leave rather than build another show around him that would air at a different time. Nick never voiced his extreme rage at what happened though and kept things professional. The MadTV and Stern people rarely attacked Artie either after his meltdown on their shows as well. But pretty much everyone knows that Artie is untrustworthy scum. An addict who needs tons of help and his mother is a saint. But giving Artie any major responsibility after his Stern fiasco is a huge risk.

Theres lots of clips of the show on Youtube, but my autism compelled me to save the entire run in mp3 form that they would post online after the show. Despite its flaws, it is a lost classic with some truly funny stuff that still holds up.

The show is probably the greatest sports talk show of all time. And probably the best talk show of all time outside of O&A for me. But I knew that Artie was going to destroy the show eventually.

Post the .mp3s to archive.org if they are not already there.

 

[guest]

Nick played D1 football as a starter. Compared to basically any other comedian he is closer to a Navy Seal than some weirdo fag like Norton or a dweeb like Mitch Hedberg or Anthony Jeselnik or whatever. I doubt Nick ever fit in with the comedy crowd. He always wanted to be a sports announcer. His brother was a sports announcer for hockey.

Nick also used to host sports talk radio on a few stations before his Nick and Artie gig. If he wasn't a huge boomer cuck Fox News idiot he could have been an NFL announcer.

Make no mistake, you make it to a D1 starter you’re good for life as far as anything sports related.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

The main problem with Artie was that he was not sober. And Nick knew it. Nick basically knew that the show was going to die because of Artie and that he didn't gain anything in the long run by inviting Artie. Anthony made the same mistake as well. Getting Artie to take his Stern audience with him but in the overall picture gain nothing of substance as Artie was not reliable. It was inevitable. Joe Buck had the same misfortune as well as Artie managed to destroy his show in its first hour. I bet within the first few months that Nick was regretting hiring Artie and waiting for the show to implode and for them to lose their jobs. Artie is a destructive loser wrecking ball with no control over himself.

At that time, Retartie was balls-deep in his "too high and too cool to give a shit" phase, where he mostly just randomly blurted out insults and wisecracks while slouching a lot. He still had some name recognition, and was still a few years away from his "bleeding and oozing" phase, which was the Artie that Nana got.

 

[DMAN]

Theres lots of clips of the show on Youtube, but my autism compelled me to save the entire run in mp3 form that they would post online after the show. Despite its flaws, it is a lost classic with some truly funny stuff that still holds up.

You have to share this brotherman.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

The main problem with Artie was that he was not sober. And Nick knew it. Nick basically knew that the show was going to die because of Artie and that he didn't gain anything in the long run by inviting Artie. Anthony made the same mistake as well. Getting Artie to take his Stern audience with him but in the overall picture gain nothing of substance as Artie was not reliable. It was inevitable. Joe Buck had the same misfortune as well as Artie managed to destroy his show in its first hour. I bet within the first few months that Nick was regretting hiring Artie and waiting for the show to implode and for them to lose their jobs. Artie is a destructive loser wrecking ball with no control over himself.

Nick wanted Artie for his Stern audience and that was it. He could have had Florentine or Bobby or anyone who was not a drug addict. He could have done the show alone. Stupidly he threw a drug addict a bone and it blew up in his face. Rumor is that when Nick was fired Artie went behind his back and badmouthed him to a lot of comedians and sports network producers. Most likely Artie was paranoid that Nick might accuse him of using drugs again so he preemptively struck at Nick. Also rumor was that most people who worked on the show figured that Nick would get his own show and Artie a separate show instead of firing one of them. I always assumed that Nick walked out of frustration and simply took the rest of the contract money. Imagine bringing someone on your show as a co-host and them stealing the show from you then getting fired and blacklisted from every sports network. As Artie would be blacklisted from ESPN and practically every sports network following his slave rape fantasy tirade on twitter. If the networks had stuck with Nick instead of Artie he probably would still he hosting a top tier show.


Their show had three dozen radio markets, was on Sirius, and DirectTV. Instead of making the show professional Artie began sabotaging it and then finally killed it. I don't think Nick felt pressure other than trying to figure out how to get Artie fired to save his own job. And Artie likely knew that Nick hated him and being a bloated selfish drug addict loser decided to pull what Jim and Anthony and Sam did with Opie by trying to take his job. Their behind the scenes was probably worse than O&A in terms of hostility. I bet that Artie within the first week was fantasizing about how to get Nick fired.

The blonde twins I think ended up quitting show businesses entirely and both married arab businessmen for money. Gross.

They paid him to leave rather than build another show around him that would air at a different time. Nick never voiced his extreme rage at what happened though and kept things professional. The MadTV and Stern people rarely attacked Artie either after his meltdown on their shows as well. But pretty much everyone knows that Artie is untrustworthy scum. An addict who needs tons of help and his mother is a saint. But giving Artie any major responsibility after his Stern fiasco is a huge risk.

The show is probably the greatest sports talk show of all time. And probably the best talk show of all time outside of O&A for me. But I knew that Artie was going to destroy the show eventually.

Post the .mp3s to archive.org if they are not already there.

I’m a huge Nick fan but let’s not forget he actually had a popular show on Sirius in like 2015 or so where he got fired for a tweet. I don’t agree with firing anyone for that type of shit but it didn’t even read like a joke. And if anyone likes Artie harassing Dan Falato just listen to the AQP(odcast).

 

[guest]

I’m a huge Nick fan but let’s not forget he actually had a popular show on Sirius in like 2015 or so where he got fired for a tweet. I don’t agree with firing anyone for that type of shit but it didn’t even read like a joke. And if anyone likes Artie harassing Dan Falato just listen to the AQP(odcast).

The school shooting tweet? and was that show actually popular? I like Nick too, but that show blew. Someone like Nick who is going to go to an extreme needs someone to contrast it, so Nick can then play it off like the percentage of crime thing he did with Patrice (or whatever it was). "Okay, 50%. Alright, 20%."

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

This show would've been based had it lasted. Nick has really bad luck with co-hosts, because he's taking it seriously and at some point in the clip, Colin basically says "yeah I'm not taking this seriously".

I mean, I like Col and everything, but... what was he doing? If you're going to do something, take it seriously.

I overall agree with Nick's philosophy, I always liked the guy, but in that clip with Artie he was being bitchy.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

twin stunt girls

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

The school shooting tweet? and was that show actually popular? I like Nick too, but that show blew. Someone like Nick who is going to go to an extreme needs someone to contrast it, so Nick can then play it off like the percentage of crime thing he did with Patrice (or whatever it was). "Okay, 50%. Alright, 20%."

Yes haha and I assumed so because it was a conservative show not on AM radio. I remember his YouTube numbahs being good. I forgot about that joke, so funny.

 

[FingerofGod]

The main problem with Artie was that he was not sober. And Nick knew it. Nick basically knew that the show was going to die because of Artie and that he didn't gain anything in the long run by inviting Artie. Anthony made the same mistake as well. Getting Artie to take his Stern audience with him but in the overall picture gain nothing of substance as Artie was not reliable. It was inevitable. Joe Buck had the same misfortune as well as Artie managed to destroy his show in its first hour. I bet within the first few months that Nick was regretting hiring Artie and waiting for the show to implode and for them to lose their jobs. Artie is a destructive loser wrecking ball with no control over himself.

Nick wanted Artie for his Stern audience and that was it. He could have had Florentine or Bobby or anyone who was not a drug addict. He could have done the show alone. Stupidly he threw a drug addict a bone and it blew up in his face. Rumor is that when Nick was fired Artie went behind his back and badmouthed him to a lot of comedians and sports network producers. Most likely Artie was paranoid that Nick might accuse him of using drugs again so he preemptively struck at Nick. Also rumor was that most people who worked on the show figured that Nick would get his own show and Artie a separate show instead of firing one of them. I always assumed that Nick walked out of frustration and simply took the rest of the contract money. Imagine bringing someone on your show as a co-host and them stealing the show from you then getting fired and blacklisted from every sports network. As Artie would be blacklisted from ESPN and practically every sports network following his slave rape fantasy tirade on twitter. If the networks had stuck with Nick instead of Artie he probably would still he hosting a top tier show.


Their show had three dozen radio markets, was on Sirius, and DirectTV. Instead of making the show professional Artie began sabotaging it and then finally killed it. I don't think Nick felt pressure other than trying to figure out how to get Artie fired to save his own job. And Artie likely knew that Nick hated him and being a bloated selfish drug addict loser decided to pull what Jim and Anthony and Sam did with Opie by trying to take his job. Their behind the scenes was probably worse than O&A in terms of hostility. I bet that Artie within the first week was fantasizing about how to get Nick fired.

The blonde twins I think ended up quitting show businesses entirely and both married arab businessmen for money. Gross.

They paid him to leave rather than build another show around him that would air at a different time. Nick never voiced his extreme rage at what happened though and kept things professional. The MadTV and Stern people rarely attacked Artie either after his meltdown on their shows as well. But pretty much everyone knows that Artie is untrustworthy scum. An addict who needs tons of help and his mother is a saint. But giving Artie any major responsibility after his Stern fiasco is a huge risk.

The show is probably the greatest sports talk show of all time. And probably the best talk show of all time outside of O&A for me. But I knew that Artie was going to destroy the show eventually.

Post the .mp3s to archive.org if they are not already there.

In Artie’s defense, Joe Buck is a complete dullard and his show was going to fail no matter what. Artie’s performance on it is the only part of that show people even remember at all