The maintenance guy knocked on my door the other day.

[guest]

Big fat guy.

It was midday on a Wednesday. "You got someone locked in the bathroom?" he asked.

I said "Uh no."

He said "Apartment 1500?"

"Yes."

He said hmm and walked away to his golf cart.

Big fat crusty fat guy. A day later my neighbor had a Ring doorbell set up.

I dunno how you get locked in the bathroom here and I don't know how you get an apartment number wrong. Was this guy trying to sniff my girlfriend's underwear?

 

[CuntFucker]

nice tiny apartment faggot I hope you enjoy smelling your own shits

 

[guest]

nice tiny apartment faggot I hope you enjoy smelling your own shits

Someone's mad about tiny poo dick jokes...

 

[handsomeblue]

So you have someone locked in your bathroom?

C'mon do tell, you're among friends here.

 

[guest]

Now you know you can get away with locking someone in your bathroom, since all you have to do is deny it.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

nice tiny apartment faggot I hope you enjoy smelling your own shits

I can just picture an Indian guy living sixteen storeys up in an apartment, and he has to take the elevator down to the ground level, walk outside, just to take a shit on the pavement.

 

[guest]

Big fat guy.

It was midday on a Wednesday. "You got someone locked in the bathroom?" he asked.

I said "Uh no."

He said "Apartment 1500?"

"Yes."

He said hmm and walked away to his golf cart.

Big fat crusty fat guy. A day later my neighbor had a Ring doorbell set up.

I dunno how you get locked in the bathroom here and I don't know how you get an apartment number wrong. Was this guy trying to sniff my girlfriend's underwear?

Superintendents give me the creeps. Once when I was moving in to this high rise building, superintendent texted me about a missing envelope full of cash that was slipped under the door meant for the contractor. I wasnt even in the city yet and would not have moved into the apartment for another 2 weeks.

Im thinking he stole the money and was creating an alibi using me.

 

[guest]

So you have someone locked in your bathroom?

C'mon do tell, you're among friends here.

Nah but I'm gonna go ask the property admin woman if there was a report about someone locked in their bathroom to see if it's legit and not a way for the fat guy to sneak in when we're not home.

 

[guest]

Nah but I'm gonna go ask the property admin woman if there was a report about someone locked in their bathroom to see if it's legit and not a way for the fat guy to sneak in when we're not home.

Oh fuck, yeah they do that. That makes the most sense, checking to see if anyone was home. Report that fat fuck asap.

 

[guest]

Big fat guy.

It was midday on a Wednesday. "You got someone locked in the bathroom?" he asked.

I said "Uh no."

He said "Apartment 1500?"

"Yes."

He said hmm and walked away to his golf cart.

Big fat crusty fat guy. A day later my neighbor had a Ring doorbell set up.

I dunno how you get locked in the bathroom here and I don't know how you get an apartment number wrong. Was this guy trying to sniff my girlfriend's underwear?

The fuck did I just read?

 

[soulbrotherman#1]

Oh fuck, yeah they do that. That makes the most sense, checking to see if anyone was home. Report that fat fuck asap.

That's a pretty shitty alibi to use, might as well say "I have a service sheet, someone needs their panty drawer riffled through."

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

nice tiny apartment faggot I hope you enjoy smelling your own shits

Jokes on you, I LIKE sniffing my ass bouquet. Now fuck off, Poo Clit

 

[guest]

I'd take my toothbrush with me every time I left the house if I was you.

 

[guest]

False alarm. Some dumb bitch actually did get locked in her bathroom. The maintenance creep just came to the wrong apartment.

 

[Brooke Shields]

False alarm. Some dumb bitch actually did get locked in her bathroom. The maintenance creep just came to the wrong apartment.

the front desk is in on it.
Perverts, the lot of em