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The Great Compound Tour (Redux)

Sue Lightning

<-- Never heard of Spankbang
Forum Clout
113,916
I can only hope to recreate the glory that was the old post, but lets take a tour through a former shock jocks former house….

Where to start?

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The entry foyer, of course. The contractor had a misunderstanding with the builder and only realized on the last steps of the staircase that he wanted it to be spiral, but its a little thing, right? This room is spacious enough for guests to spill into if you have large parties and also connects to two other rooms:

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The dining room, in which the builder perplexing decided an enclosed rather than spacious design..

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And the sitting room.

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The sitting room has never been touched since the owner recorded his post firing video in it. It also looks like your grandmothers, or BOQs, living room. There might as well be doilies lying around.

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Nice alcohol in the rooms you don’t even use, stupid. Also whats with that airvent placed so strangely on the wall? Is that a northern thing? Its in such a weird placement.

As we go through these rooms note the crown molding and baseboards. They’re all extremely basic like shit you would buy off the rack at home depot. All of the design budget goes into columns and the doorframes, which we’ll see later.

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Now this hallway leads into the living room.

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As you can see the owner was highly aware of his spacial restrictions and had to fit a closet in this small, small hall way. However he did have time to add a column directly at the end of the hallway for aesthetic purposes. And I can’t even comment on the door to the basement.

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Here we have the living room. Many famous people have been in this room. The daughter of a comedy club owner, the daughter of a Bill Clinton staffer, a weather woman, you name it!

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Lets take a detour into the office, it’s so important it needs two doors!

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It is very obvious the former owner of this property got some work done in this room. The ceiling fan is a very modern addition as well.

There are a couple things you need to complete an office.

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A gaming computer, a shredder, a printer…

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A TV and garbage blocking the other door…

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And a bathroom! Just incase you spend endless days and sleepless nights working at your Razor PC.

There are a total of 4 light switches for just the office alone, two opposing the TV and two on the wall near our entrance.

E7202EBD-BE4D-494C-907B-984A860A0D22.jpeg

Back into the living room and you’ll notice the lovely open spaces made by the conturing wall with two AC handlers on it. It’s even got a closet! This space was made to fit the two columns.

358235D2-B6A7-4BCE-8E2A-477CAE4014EC.jpeg

The dining room is, once again, a room the owner seemed to occupy a lot. Once again we are faced with the odd placement of AC registers. Something else that should be praised is the decision for both the dining room AND sitting room, despite being small adjacent rooms, to both transition from tile to hardword. It is not a juxtaposition to the rest of the open downstairs at all.

6F75F436-6B16-4113-9FDE-50BCCD7E3637.jpeg

Exiting into the dining room, the owner was once again gracious enough design wise to have us facing a column as we enter the living room. A bathroom was even installed right next to the dining room! Just in case anyone wants to take a shit while you’re eating and they can do it right next to you.

096DCB94-3E91-4586-991F-6986E954980C.jpeg

The columns for this side of the house form an almost walled in yet open design. It was a very smart aesthetic choice, pleasing to the eye, to have the lower right column not equal to the length of the vertical columns, and then have a diagonal wall forming a small space between the kitchen cabinet, but whatever. Its ok. The owner used this walled in design to…

0113236C-534A-40A9-A481-D37AA198F4D8.jpeg

Make another living room with the space. Hey wait a minute…

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I count one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! Nine different lightswitches, all on the same wall separated by windows. Very smart design choice.

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And what if you need 4 extra outlets when you’re hanging outside after you used all the ones out there?
 

Sue Lightning

<-- Never heard of Spankbang
Forum Clout
113,916
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Now the kitchen…

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Nice outlet placement, stupid. The sink was a very smart design choice. You may be asking where the dishwasher is?


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Well you see, it’s all the way over here because thats where the real sink is! Two sinks this guy had in just his kitchen! You may have noticed the cabinet designs and even called them “fucking hideous” but I promise you they were very expensive. So was the granite countertop. Not very in today, but it cost a lot then.

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And it is always a very good idea place an air vent on top of cabinetry where its not doing anything.

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The silver top of the line cooking ware does not contrast with the gaudy cabinets. If it does you can always get an older stove.

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And yep, this is JUST enough cabinets. The island is full of them!

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Look at this, he could even fit another outlet. Who needs the 4 next to the backdoor?

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And if you need more cabinets, theres more on the adjacent counter. Of course it has two outlets (placed asymmetrically on the wall), why wouldn’t it?

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Now we intern the Danny wing, adorned with more light switches. Very good use of space with the closet. You can put whatever you want in there, stuff for the kitchen or stuff for the bedrooms, you decide for it!

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Well i suppose not because theres another closet.

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The owner very obviously skimped on the washroom. Ignore the tiling that makes it look like a big shower.

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At the end of this hallway is Dannys room, we’re not sure why the owner named it that. The owner left his Xbox behind and was even playing on some dual TV set up! Strangely enough theres no air vent in this room, so don’t ever feel hot.

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This room also has yet another closet!

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The owner added yet another bathroom, strangely with the same design as the adjoining washroom. Once again the design is very up to date.

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Entering down the kitchen hallway and going right leads you to both the garage and the side door to the home. Put them in the same room? Nah. Also put the doors facing so that they open into each other.
 

Chive Turkey

Erock Army Deserter
Forum Clout
30,635
It really is a poorly designed abode with even worse aesthetics. The epitome of a McMansion, gaudy kitsch mixed with the painfully generic middle-class. It makes Tony Soprano's house look refined and understated by comparison.

I like how the only room on the ground floor that has any personality is the office and that's because AntH clearly had it modeled on the one from The Godfather.
 

AWetBlanket

Forum Clout
3,460
I can only hope to recreate the glory that was the old post, but lets take a tour through a former shock jocks former house….

Where to start?

View attachment 171805
The entry foyer, of course. The contractor had a misunderstanding with the builder and only realized on the last steps of the staircase that he wanted it to be spiral, but its a little thing, right? This room is spacious enough for guests to spill into if you have large parties and also connects to two other rooms:

View attachment 171807
The dining room, in which the builder perplexing decided an enclosed rather than spacious design..

View attachment 171808
And the sitting room.

View attachment 171809
The sitting room has never been touched since the owner recorded his post firing video in it. It also looks like your grandmothers, or BOQs, living room. There might as well be doilies lying around.

View attachment 171810
Nice alcohol in the rooms you don’t even use, stupid. Also whats with that airvent placed so strangely on the wall? Is that a northern thing? Its in such a weird placement.

As we go through these rooms note the crown molding and baseboards. They’re all extremely basic like shit you would buy off the rack at home depot. All of the design budget goes into columns and the doorframes, which we’ll see later.

View attachment 171811
Now this hallway leads into the living room.

View attachment 171812
As you can see the owner was highly aware of his spacial restrictions and had to fit a closet in this small, small hall way. However he did have time to add a column directly at the end of the hallway for aesthetic purposes. And I can’t even comment on the door to the basement.

View attachment 171813
Here we have the living room. Many famous people have been in this room. The daughter of a comedy club owner, the daughter of a Bill Clinton staffer, a weather woman, you name it!

View attachment 171816
Lets take a detour into the office, it’s so important it needs two doors!

View attachment 171818
It is very obvious the former owner of this property got some work done in this room. The ceiling fan is a very modern addition as well.

There are a couple things you need to complete an office.

View attachment 171821
A gaming computer, a shredder, a printer…

View attachment 171822
A TV and garbage blocking the other door…

View attachment 171824
And a bathroom! Just incase you spend endless days and sleepless nights working at your Razor PC.

There are a total of 4 light switches for just the office alone, two opposing the TV and two on the wall near our entrance.

View attachment 171825
Back into the living room and you’ll notice the lovely open spaces made by the conturing wall with two AC handlers on it. It’s even got a closet! This space was made to fit the two columns.

View attachment 171826
The dining room is, once again, a room the owner seemed to occupy a lot. Once again we are faced with the odd placement of AC registers. Something else that should be praised is the decision for both the dining room AND sitting room, despite being small adjacent rooms, to both transition from tile to hardword. It is not a juxtaposition to the rest of the open downstairs at all.

View attachment 171827
Exiting into the dining room, the owner was once again gracious enough design wise to have us facing a column as we enter the living room. A bathroom was even installed right next to the dining room! Just in case anyone wants to take a shit while you’re eating and they can do it right next to you.

View attachment 171828
The columns for this side of the house form an almost walled in yet open design. It was a very smart aesthetic choice, pleasing to the eye, to have the lower right column not equal to the length of the vertical columns, and then have a diagonal wall forming a small space between the kitchen cabinet, but whatever. Its ok. The owner used this walled in design to…

View attachment 171829
Make another living room with the space. Hey wait a minute…

View attachment 171830
I count one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! Nine different lightswitches, all on the same wall separated by windows. Very smart design choice.

View attachment 171832
And what if you need 4 extra outlets when you’re hanging outside after you used all the ones out there?
All those pillars are fucking rage-inducing
 
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