Texting Pat is so weird

[BudDickman]

https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Astealthygeek%20put%20thought%20into&src=typed_query&f=live

The elaborate texts that you put a lot of thought into get no response, but saying "L" or "Judge Stein thinks you're a faggot" causes him to sperg out epically.

 

[guest]

"I put expertise into"

1.7GPA says different, fella.

 

[BudDickman]

Hey Pat, I think I discovered a wormhole.

https://www.fpkclub.com/Modelshowpics/Wonderfest2011/DSCN1024.JPG

If you look closely, you can see that your ex-wife is sitting on the lap of her current (late) husband Jon Snyder. But she was your wife at the time this picture was taken.

I find it impossible to believe that any self-respecting man would allow his wife to publicly emasculate him by sitting on another man's lap right in front of him, and just smile fakely like a fucking faggot.

The only explanation is that there's a tear in the space-time continuum that allowed this photo to capture two different instances in time. You should talk about this on your Weird Science show on the Discovery Channel.

 

[BudDickman]

Hello Pat, this is Art Vandalay, CEO of TextAFag.

We've noticed that a significant percentage of our messaging traffic involves your phone number and that you obsessively reply with the same message to everyone.

We would like to propose a marketing opportunity. If you insert advertisements into your obsessive reply, then we would be willing to offer you a percentage of the revenue.

Here's a rough draft:

---
The Whopper from Burger King is bigger than the Big Mac and flame grilled

You have been instructed, many hundreds of times, to cease contacting this phone number. Continuing to do so constitutes felony telephone harassment. Do not contact this number again.

Try the flame grilled Whopper from Burger King today!
---

Note that we've retained the menacing language about "felony texting" even though our legal team considers it to be complete nonsense and the sort of thing that only a shockingly, cripplingly stupid person would write.

What do you think?

 

[BudDickman]

Hey Pat, it's Joe Biden.

Here's the deal. You're a Manchurian Candidate who was brainwashed and activated during the 2016 election for the purpose of influencing other retards like yourself, using your social media presence.

None of your opinions are, or ever have been, your own. You are simply a vessel.

This operation is being aborted and that vein on your forehead will soon burst, spraying disgusting fat guy blood everywhere. I'm telling you this so that you can have a few moments of clarity before that happens.

The Democratic Party thanks you for your service.

 

[guest]

The elaborate texts that you put a lot of thought into get no response, but saying "L" or "Judge Stein thinks you're a faggot" causes him to sperg out epically.

You're dealing with a drunk 1.2 who can't get a job. A lot of the highbrow trolling must go over his head. Boomia's simple conversational style gives him a major pig wrangling advantage.

 

[Muad'Dibinson]

Has anyone tried sexting with pat? “Hey….piggy, what are ya wearin’?”

 

[Bin_The_Blacks]

This is a great idea. Boomia's already getting kickbacks for all the product placement in his screenshots. Why shouldn't piggy get in on the action? I would suggest he advertise pork ribs.

 

[Faggot Boqposter]

we need to start delivering cases of beer to his house. The drunker he is the funnier he is to text. Niki been spending the booze money on new tights at Costco

 

[BudDickman]

You're dealing with a drunk 1.2 who can't get a job. A lot of the highbrow trolling must go over his head. Boomia's simple conversational style gives him a major pig wrangling advantage.

One thing I noticed is when you go down to Pat's level to get him to engage, he really does start acting like you're his friend. It's like he's shit-talking with one of his bros, if he had any. It kind of makes me pity the guy a little bit.

 

[Jenna]

Has anyone tried sexting with pat? “Hey….piggy, what are ya wearin’?”

This but be really submissive about it. Yeah Daddy I'm your mentally ill slut. Daddy's gonna send me to prison and let all the prisoners take turns with my boipussy.

 

[guest]

This but be really submissive about it. Yeah Daddy I'm your mentally ill slut. Daddy's gonna send me to prison and let all the prisoners take turns with my boipussy.

I really feel like he jerks off to those texts where rascals tell them they fucked Niki, Niki sucked their dick, etc. It would absolutely be the same with these. I have no doubt he'd jerk his little micropeen to the thought of a rascal getting ass-raped in prison.