Reminder: Patrick claims his body count is 17

[Honey Badger]

we all know Pat is a two-girl-virgin, but he allegedly has to count his toes to add up his sexual conquests.

Someone on Reddit tried to pry more info out of him, but Pat clearly didn’t appreciate that line of questioning

Feel free to speculate. Is Patrick telling the truth, or just thinks 17 is a “big” number?

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

It's his GPA (1.78)x10, and he didn't even round up to 18. He just isn't a clever guy.

 

[RickReternal]

He’s both lying and thinks 17 is impressive vis a vis his ardent feminist principles. He is indeed a single digit chump.

 

[HotDogJoe]

Rick was in his late 30s when he said that.

Any grown man (or woman) who reveals their number for any reason is garbage. Nobody cares how many people anybody has slept with. It's bizarre to even keep track.

I am not proud of how many women I've slept with, if fact I'm quite disgusted. I would never answer that question in any context for any reason.

Everything about him is just wrong.

He also brags about sleeping with his own wife. He really is incredibly odd. Pretty fat too.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I’m sure it’s two but even if it’s more then so what? No matter what it is it isn’t many. I’ve most likely slept with more people in a single day than Pat has in his entire life. Do I win a prize, Fatso?

 

[guest]

Knowing the exact number in itself is pathetic

 

[DominusOdium]

Again, heroic feminist guy, how does your low self esteem wife feel about you bragging about having sex with other women on Twitter?

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Rick was in his late 30s when he said that.

Any grown man (or woman) who reveals their number for any reason is garbage. Nobody cares how many people anybody has slept with. It's bizarre to even keep track.

I am not proud of how many women I've slept with, if fact I'm quite disgusted. I would never answer that question in any context for any reason.

Everything about him is just wrong.

I actually would have to sit down and count it out for a bit and I’m not bragging, it’s just something you stop having memorized when sometime in college because it’s not that big of a deal to get laid. I don’t tell women my “number” and don’t ask theirs. Piggy was in his mid 30s thinking this is a brag because it’s very clear he’s only had sex with two women and married them. A guy bragging to strangers on the internet about his number is a loser, regular adults his age don’t do that, especially when you’re married.

 

[NoBacon]

Knowing the exact number in itself is pathetic

Not really, I do have to do a little mental roladex thing to get to the number because I don’t know it off by heart but it’s not difficult to count to 10-20 (I know a few guys who have insane counts approaching 100 but it’s rare, most of my friends are about 5-10 tbchwy.

 

[eggfeller]

we used to call him “Pussy-Getting Rick the Fat Pig-Fucking Piece of Shit” back in the day

 

[King of OnAForums]

Who would say that publicly on social media when you're married?

Fat. Fat fucking fag.

 

[NoBacon]

“Touched below the belt in the dark” is super fucking creepy btw. I’d never say that, it just sounds explicitly like it’s unwanted.

 

[Dougie's Hapa Daughter]

17 is both an infinitely huge and small number. It could take dozens and dozens of lifetimes for a dalit in India to reach those numbers, but a decent looking white guy with some bucks could casually rack that number up in the Philippines in a span of weeks. And for Josh Moon, it would take until the heat death of the universe.

How much money you earn, what car you drive, how many women you've fucked (not including prostitutes, yet including women who were drunk, women who were high, women who you lied to, and regardless of if it was for procreation)... everything about Pat is stuck in middle school.

Every time I achieved one of those shallow goals, it felt incredibly hollow to me. When I was 25 I went from a job earning $75k to a job earning $175k and it felt very hollow despite hearing about "six figures" all my life growing up poor. Same shit with fancy cars, or the first time I stuck my pecker in Suzy Rottencrotch in the backseat of my parent's RAV4. Everything felt... underwhelming. Like "That's it?".

It motivated me to find more selfless goals after finding out how shallow hedonism can feel. I'm sad for Pat that he never grew out of that mentality, I think it's key to growing up and becoming a man.

 

[Racist Google Intern]

“Touched below the belt in the dark” is super fucking creepy btw. I’d never say that, it just sounds explicitly like it’s unwanted.

Reminds me of how they talk in those pedophile after school specials.

 

[Safka's Enticer]

It includes the men he's jerked off