Remember the alien abduction stories before the internet?

[Nigger John]

I bet a lot of them were boys or girls uncles and the UFO’s were said uncles El Camino’s. It’s a way to say you were raped with out saying you were raped

 

[Professor Rape]

They probed my anus for "science". Aliens are le heckin redditors from the future

 

[Nigger John]

Women who talk like girls were raped young

 

[Phish]

I was NEVER abducted….ever

 

[CQ Beans]

I bet a lot of them were boys or girls uncles and the UFO’s were said uncles El Camino’s. It’s a way to say you were raped with out saying you were raped

You seem to know a lot about this, John.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

I was NEVER abducted….ever

No I.. No I never abducted my brother's dick. I'm not loying!

 

[Brooke Shields]

I was NEVER abducted….ever

I never had a probe in my ass that one time, ever

 

[Niggerotchi]

@Mass.gov have you ever kidnaped someone before?

 

[IanCurtis]

"Tonight... 'Gay'liens, Cow-rapers or Faggots in El Camino's an In Search of... special investigation..."

 

[Cruisin’ Joe Cumia]

You were probably hoping you’d get abducted and anal probed and that the aliens were niggers

Because you’re a homo who wants to be interracially, intergalactically, penetrated by a black homo ufo

 

[FranksWirecutters]

You seem to know a lot about this, John.

The only reply that really rocks.

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

Fuck off nigger Jim.

 

[CQ Beans]

The only reply that really rocks.

 

[NigelCumia]

Didn't they figure this shit out, that it was people suffering from sleep paralysis?

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Didn't they figure this shit out, that it was people suffering from sleep paralysis?

That's a description of their physical state during the event, not an explanation of it. If I snort a bunch of coke without telling you and you measure my brain activity and neurotransmitter levels you'll be able to tell me what's happening but not why. They've also found that if you stimulate the centers of the brain involved in these experiences you can recreate them. This doesn't explain what's stimulating it in the absence of their intervention. They zap your brain and it happens and then they clap and say "eureka!" but what's zapping your brain all the other times?

 

[Nigger John]

You were probably hoping you’d get abducted and anal probed and that the aliens were niggers

Because you’re a homo who wants to be interracially, intergalactically, penetrated by a black homo ufo

No

 

[Nigger John]

Fuck off nigger Jim.

No

 

[LiberalPussy]

UFOs?

More like UF’MOs, am I right?

 

[Cruisin’ Joe Cumia]

No

Yes. You’re a gay man. A gay man who wants to be interracially sodomized