Quick Q&A with PATRICK S. TOMLINSON

[fricklefrackle]

Quick Q&A with PATRICK S. TOMLINSON

Let’s start with an introduction: Who is Patrick Tomlinson? Author, comic, provocateur, husband, kind of an ass. Your new novel, Gate Crashers, was just published by Tor Books. It looks rather fun:…

civilianreader.com

 

[Guest]

Provocateur? I’d say he was a smashing success!

 

[fricklefrackle]

Father?

 

[ThePepsiColaRapist]

How's this all work out, you dumb bag of lard?

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Hilarity has never ensued in Patrick’s writing

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

That “I’m exactly that way in real life online” quote is why his life is shit. His whole “online persona” is the cause of all his problems. Doctors need to study this man.

 

[Kurt_Love]

That “I’m exactly that way in real life online” quote is why his life is shit. His whole “online persona” is the cause of all his problems. Doctors need to study this man.

He means that to say "I'm an actual tough guy" which is rich since he hid in fear from BDA and Dan Mullen then went back online to say they hid from him.

 

[SFWA liaison]

"I'm a bit of a provocateur"

"for no reason whatsoever they picked me, it could happen to anyone!"

 

[stealthygeek]

"Instead of throwing it in the bin"

Eurotrip Rick talking Limey fresh off his Holocaust-themed honeymoon.

 

[FurBurger]

How were you introduced to genre fiction?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Timothy Zahn wrote Heir to the Empire, and I was hooked.

That's glorified Star Wars fan fiction, folks. A licensed Star Wars™ book; the type of thing real authors pound out in a month or two just for the easy money.

Not Heinlein, or Asimov, or Corey, or Banks; just some shitty movie tie-in that Lucasfilm published for a quick buck when the money ran low.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

That's glorified Star Wars fan fiction, folks. A licensed Star Wars™ book; the type of thing real authors pound out in a month or two just for the easy money.

Not Heinlein, or Asimov, or Corey, or Banks; just some shitty movie tie-in that Lucasfilm published for a quick buck when the money ran low.

A dude I had classes with kept trying to get me to read that series. I finally caved and got halfway through the first book before giving it back.

Complete shit.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

Hilarity has never ensued in Patrick’s writing

Even gifted writers can have difficulty eliciting an actual laugh out loud reaction through text. A smile or chuckle is pretty doable but the medium isn't the perfect vehicle for humor. I do remember dying at the Jim Norton in Iraq slamming chapter in one of Colin Quinns books. I can read Ricks stuff completely stone faced. It's like an AI interpretation of humor using a formula with all the beats and references of your average marvel trailer.

 

[DominusOdium]

Pre-Norm/11 Pat is always something to witness. A carefully constructed Frankenstein persona, cobbled together out of the people he's ripping off to make what a 1.7gpa high school loser thinks George Carlin would be like if he rewrote Douglas Adams books in between being the Christopher Hitchens of Twitter, impressing the denizens of reddit by Patslapping down Christians and "MAGATs" with his wordplay like "Piss play Pinochet" that he wrote in a bar like he imagines Hunter S Thompson would've if he was half as cool.

Sprinkle on a bit of oh so clever winking innuendo he picked up from watching the British shows on PBS after he became an expert on European culture, to let the fatties at the convention know he'd be happy to dry hump in their room at the Ramada watching Dr Who because tee hee he's into things and you have pre-2018 coolest guy in the room, the Stealthy Geek you'd never know was into making Star Trek models because goddamn I thought it was James Bond, but nope, it's Patrick S. Tomlinson.

 

[Guest]

Pre-Norm/11 Pat is always something to witness. A carefully constructed Frankenstein persona, cobbled together out of the people he's ripping off to make what a 1.7gpa high school loser thinks George Carlin would be like if he rewrote Douglas Adams books in between being the Christopher Hitchens of Twitter, impressing the denizens of reddit by Patslapping down Christians and "MAGATs" with his wordplay like "Piss play Pinochet" that he wrote in a bar like he imagines Hunter S Thompson would've if he was half as cool.

Sprinkle on a bit of oh so clever winking innuendo he picked up from watching the British shows on PBS after he became an expert on European culture, to let the fatties at the convention know he'd be happy to dry hump in their room at the Ramada watching Dr Who because tee hee he's into things and you have pre-2018 coolest guy in the room, the Stealthy Geek you'd never know was into making Star Trek models because goddamn I thought it was James Bond, but nope, it's Patrick S. Tomlinson.

Imagine if you went on a website and saw your psychological profile so perfectly dissected. I’d probably kill myself or change my whole life

 

[Cuphead]

you mean a FAT RETARD

 

[HotDogJoe]

First Contact meets Armageddon

I don't think this talentless whale has ever once described his own work without comparing it to other popular books/movies............IN SPACE!!!

 

[DominusOdium]

Imagine if you went on a website and saw your psychological profile so perfectly dissected. I’d probably kill myself or change my whole life

He's also rather fat

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

He's also rather fat

I hate to correcT the record here but court documents show he has a BMI of 31.3, which is obese. Please use the correct terminology from now on, thank you.

 

[EraGodless]

"Instead of throwing it in the bin"

Eurotrip Rick talking Limey fresh off his Holocaust-themed honeymoon.

Patty doesn't know...

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Even gifted writers can have difficulty eliciting an actual laugh out loud reaction through text. A smile or chuckle is pretty doable but the medium isn't the perfect vehicle for humor. I do remember dying at the Jim Norton in Iraq slamming chapter in one of Colin Quinns books. I can read Ricks stuff completely stone faced. It's like an AI interpretation of humor using a formula with all the beats and references of your average marvel trailer.

“hoping to get a perfunctory blowjob from a blubber bunny.” He read it on Opie with Worm when Anne Coulter was there and she was dying. “Is every chapter this funny?” “Honestly? No.”