Patrick applies for job at local sports dive bar

[NoBacon]

Full text:

Hi there, you will of course know me as the poltical firebrand and pundit “stealthygeek” on Twitter but I’m also a best selling author with one of the top global publishing houses.

As you may already be aware, my eponymous “in the black” series saw our protagonist conduct business in a “space McDonald’s” for several chapters. In my upcoming feature I am going to look at repeating the premise but in a more low brow local premise. I thought dugout 54 would be perfect! And where better to get a feel for the place than by working there! Just think of the publicity.

To this end, please find my resume attached in regards to the listed hosting role. I will work the hours I have provided and I will start immediately, it’s very important to me that my novels are grounded in realism and as I’m between writing contracts at the minute I must start this Wednesday to begin my research as soon as possible.

I look forward to joining the team and I would appreciate it if it was cascaded down to everybody not to interrupt my creative process or offer suggestions on plot, pacing etc

I will see you Wednesday.

Patrick S Tomlinson, @stealthygeek

 

[NoBacon]

I hope he gets it!
I’m also going to follow it up with several more messages asking if wage garnishing is automatic and if he can never work before 1030am

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Please tell me that the resume links to the Kiwifarms article.

 

[NoBacon]

Please tell me that the resume links to the Kiwifarms article.

It’s a real resume, that’s quite real and a little bit cunty.

it will be going out to as many local bars as my friend from Reddit can find before he loses interest

found on /all

 

[Easily_Remembered]

It’s a real resume, that’s quite real and a little bit cunty.

it will be going out to as many local bars as my friend from Reddit can find before he loses interest

found on /all

Your friend is a good person for trying to help those who refuse to help themselves.

Just email them the link later, when Pat gives them a "SHUT! YOUR FUCKING! MOUTH!" over the phone when they try to call him for an interview.

 

[NoBacon]

Your friend is a good person for trying to help those who refuse to help themselves.

Just email them the link later, when Pat gives them a "SHUT! YOUR FUCKING! MOUTH!" over the phone when they try to call him for an interview.

he will NOT stand for wage garnishment even if it’s court ordered. This has been made ABUNDANTLY clear.

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

My brother did this to me: He sent in my info to a bunch of Army recruiters while I was at college and they hit me up hard for the next month, trying to arrange meet and greets and physical tests. Very Har-dee-har-har on my brothers part.

I bet this wont even get a chuckle out of Pat.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Getting Rick hired is a phenomenal bit. Hilarious and helpful!

 

[Meownaw]

Great bit but I would've fawkin howled if the screenshot had the captcha wrong. See because he is a retard.

 

[NoBacon]

Getting Rick hired is a phenomenal bit. Hilarious and helpful!

I hope he doesn’t molest any patrons like the rumours from his job as a porter at the Milwaukee Muslim film festival

 

[potatopeeler63]

My brother did this to me: He sent in my info to a bunch of Army recruiters while I was at college and they hit me up hard for the next month, trying to arrange meet and greets and physical tests. Very Har-dee-har-har on my brothers part.

I bet this wont even get a chuckle out of Pat.

Good idea, Fatrick should be thankful that his beloved redditor doggos are helping him pay off his debt with side jobs.
I wonder how his usher gig is going

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Niki is going to wonder why he is turning down all these job opportunities.

" Its the trolls trying to make our lives better."

 

[NoBacon]

Good idea, Fatrick should be thankful that his beloved redditor doggos are helping him pay off his debt with side jobs.
I wonder how his usher gig is going
View attachment 12654
View attachment 12655

The fat red line

 

[Will Tate]

My brother did this to me: He sent in my info to a bunch of Army recruiters while I was at college and they hit me up hard for the next month, trying to arrange meet and greets and physical tests. Very Har-dee-har-har on my brothers part.

I bet this wont even get a chuckle out of Pat.

A few years ago a friend of mine put my email address on a mailing list for a baldness remedy company, I had shit popping up in my inbox for months.

 

[peckafacce]

I wonder if his local Target, Walmart, Hayat, Cemark or Metro are hiring?

 

[Cuphead]

You should've said you needed the job after losing $124k in a lawsuit

 

[NoBacon]

I wonder if his local Target, Walmart, Hayat, Cemark or Metro are hiring?

I know his references are water tight. Joseph Cumia, CEO of brother Joe entertainment will hopefully provide a glowing report for him

 

[NoBacon]

I know his references are water tight. Joseph Cumia, CEO of brother Joe entertainment will hopefully provide a glowing report for him

ny friend from Reddit said Patrick’s resume had his 6 month stint as Bono at Brother Joe Entertainment listed in his career history

 

[peckafacce]

I know his references are water tight. Joseph Cumia, CEO of brother Joe entertainment will hopefully provide a glowing report for him

I wonder if Niki Robinson or Rona Marie would provide a positive reference?

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Even Chris Chan was able to hold down a job at Wendy's, albeit temporarily. Does that mean that Chris Chan is more of a man than Patrick S Tomlinson? I suppose that it does.