Outback stories

Riccardo Bosi

welcomes our new overlords
Met an abbo sheila at the bottle-o once. She kept going on and on about how her husband didn’t care that her mother and father died. I felt so bad for her so I tried to console her. Some lady from out bush.

We went up to her government subsidized shitbox with the intention of idk probably snorting petty with her. Then she’s all like yeah my husband is in the other room. I’m just like’…. What?’ I was a bit bonked so like an idiot I punched her on the cheek and said ooroo. In retrospect I’m almost certain I was almost murdered by the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander mafia.

I found some wog guy completely drugged out under the elevated tracks. I called him an ambo and had to repeatedly keep him from walking into traffic until the EMT ambulance drivers arrived. I never saw that bloke again.

I accidentally walked into the Redfern projects while staying with a mate. I got a lot of strange looks and almost passed out at a bong store. I saved a fellow pissed white boy and we both wandered onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Woke up on a park bench in Potts Point. Never saw that cunt again.