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My whore neighbor is no more! Now with exciting update!

musTARD

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Professor Rape

Learning where local water spring is
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By jump rope
This is why you're stuck playing Hogwarts legacy, while I'm a GtA vice city man.

"Strangled her with a jump rope" is funnier than "by jump rope". The word strangled is inherently funny.

I strangled her = funny
I choked her = boring, gay
Not even mentioning a verb = Hogwarts legacy
 
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