My goddamn LIPS are chapped to SHIT

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

FUCK

 

[Meownaw]

I always get that in the winter. I'm shocked you get it because I read cum prevents it.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I always get that in the winter. I'm shocked you get it because I read cum prevents it.

I lost my fuckin Burt's Bees salted caramel chapstick. That stuff has the best cum concentration for the money. I bet that fuckin black I dated stole it for her gigantic lips. Now if I sneeze it splits my bottom lip like I got punched in da mout

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I know we privately agreed to make out, but uhhhhhh I think I’m backing out. It’s the chapped lips

 

[Meownaw]

You know those people with. Chronically. Chapped. Lips?
No! Doesn't resonate!

 

[Turk February]

I lost my fuckin Burt's Bees salted caramel chapstick. That stuff has the best cum concentration for the money. I bet that fuckin black I dated stole it for her gigantic lips. Now if I sneeze it splits my bottom lip like I got punched in da mout

you should take a bowl, mix some soy sauce, kosher salt, garlic, and habanero, crush and cook until it settles into a thick almost-paste, and apply it to your lips. Heals them right up.

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

You know those people with. Chronically. Chapped. Lips?
No! Doesn't resonate!

This is all true stuff!

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

you should take a bowl, mix some soy sauce, kosher salt, garlic, and habanero, crush and cook until it settles into a thick almost-paste, and apply it to your lips. Heals them right up.

Take some scissors and cut those fuckers off and he’ll be right as rain

 

[Turk February]

Take some scissors and cut those fuckers off and he’ll be right as rain

also a great way to quit smoking

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

also a great way to quit smoking

Smoking pole? Not likely, “pal”

 

[Meownaw]

This is all true stuff!

He came and. Stood. Right. Between. Us!
We looked like testicles! Mya ha

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I know we privately agreed to make out, but uhhhhhh I think I’m backing out. It’s the chapped lips

I'm still  me, I just have crispy, cracked lips now!

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I'm still  me, I just have crispy, cracked lips now!

I think we work better as contemporaneous shitposters on a niche message board. I’m sorry, Abe

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I think we work better as contemporaneous shitposters on a niche message board. I’m sorry, Abe

There's someone else isn't there?

Is it Martin fucking Landau?

 

[Meownaw]

There's someone else isn't there?

Is it Martin fucking Landau?

Didn't you say you weren't gay? Why would you care? Abe, comment?

 

[Stent]

Is it possible you're actually not getting into heaven because you're gay?

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

If you've got chapped lips try kissing a cow's arse.

Doesn't soothe 'em. Does stop you from licking 'em!

(boo)

 

[Meownaw]

Is it possible you're actually not getting into heaven because you're gay?

I'm sure the zero Oscars part doesn't help him get into actor heaven either.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

I once smooched a chick on the mouth while shitass-drunk, prolly reeking of cigarettes and having pissed myself a little, which I enthusiastically told her about. Her only lasting impression was, my lips were chapped and I should get some balm next time. Never got her number.

I could've made ground beef out of that pussy with those crusty nigger lips. I was too drunk to fuck though for sure but still. Fawk.