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"Mr Cumia, I have your brain scan results back. There's no easy way to say this... you have Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease."



"It's a rare brain disorder that has destroyed both your short and long term memory. Not only that, it's affected your ability to respond in a quick, witty manner. The cause is most likely excessive drinking. You have about 2 months before you lose all cognitive abilities. I'm so sorry."

"You have my brain scan results back?"