Mad Max: The Road Warrior in Seinfeld

[guest]

Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I really hate how pathetic my life is so I'm going to turn it around tomorrow. No bacon, egg, cheese on a roll. Starting my Italian lessons. No more jerking off or cumming in strangers. Going to really get shit together and I'm going to get an Italian wife and start a family as soon as possible. I will not end up like Anthony Cumia or Jimmy Norton. I'm gonna be a fawkin' Opie, damn it. With a beautiful wife who will never fart in front of me.

 

[guest]

Scanners on the bottom shelf. Oh shit, now I'm doing it.

 

[PickleRickle]

Now THIS is podracing! Italian bitches are retarded, Dougie. Im not kidding. I've been with a couple of them over the years and they're all stupid fuckin bitches that refer to their fathers as "daddy", they give excellent blowjobs, they dont cook, their mothers will be excellent cooks/bakers, but the daughter wont do shit. You'll end up developing a crush on their mother, while you fuck their daughter. Been in that boat three fuckin times now. I love Italian milkers and Italian suckies, but my god their women are worthless in every other avenue.

Do you know how gay it is to realize "Fuck! Im more into her mom than her goddamn daughter"

 

[guest]

Now THIS is podracing! Italian bitches are retarded, Dougie. Im not kidding. I've been with a couple of them over the years and they're all stupid fuckin bitches that refer to their fathers as "daddy", they give excellent blowjobs, they dont cook, their mothers will be excellent cooks/bakers, but the daughter wont do shit. You'll end up developing a crush on their mother, while you fuck their daughter. Been in that boat three fuckin times now. I love Italian milkers and Italian suckies, but my god their women are worthless in every other avenue.

Do you know how gay it is to realize "Fuck! Im more into her mom than her goddamn daughter"

Spanish is 80% Italian language, so Spain will be my backup if it doesn't work out.

 

[guest]

Now THIS is podracing! Italian bitches are retarded, Dougie. Im not kidding. I've been with a couple of them over the years and they're all stupid fuckin bitches that refer to their fathers as "daddy", they give excellent blowjobs, they dont cook, their mothers will be excellent cooks/bakers, but the daughter wont do shit. You'll end up developing a crush on their mother, while you fuck their daughter. Been in that boat three fuckin times now. I love Italian milkers and Italian suckies, but my god their women are worthless in every other avenue.

Do you know how gay it is to realize "Fuck! Im more into her mom than her goddamn daughter"

shhhhhh delete this NOW, you can't have any cynicism in dougie's life planning threads. only #positivity

Spanish is 10% Italian language, so Spain will be my backup if it doesn't work out.

adesso sono io che mando qua, devi succhiarmi la minchia frocio di merda o invece ti amazzo come un cane
-----
ahora tienes que hacer lo que yo digo, me debes chupar la verga maricon de mierda, o si no te mataré como un perro

get used to hearing those phrases^^^

news flash dougster- 95% of italian is unintelligible to spanish speakers.
On the flip side, basic spanish can get you by in italy, albeit without creating any meaningful connections as the conversations will be toddler level.
I would learn spanish first, considering it opens you up to 10+ more countries as opposed to just a shitty boot in the med, but hey, that's just me.

 

[guest]

shhhhhh delete this NOW, you can't have any cynicism in dougie's life planning threads. only #positivity



adesso sono io che mando qua, devi succhiarmi la minchia frocio di merda o invece ti amazzo come un cane
-----
ahora tienes que hacer lo que yo digo, me debes chupar la verga maricon de mierda, o si no te mataré como un perro

get used to hearing those phrases^^^

news flash dougster- 95% of italian is unintelligible to spanish speakers.
On the flip side, basic spanish can get you by in italy, albeit without creating any meaningful connections as the conversations will be toddler level.
I would learn spanish first, considering it opens you up to 10+ more countries as opposed to just a shitty boot in the med, but hey, that's just me.

Ah thats a good point. You think spanish will be easy to learn though once i know italian?

 

[chocolatehellhole]

Ah thats a good point. You think spanish will be easy to learn though once i know italian?

Get a job working 1 night a week in a restaurant and you'll know spanish in a month.

 

[Cyberatorquer]

Foreign languages are a waste. Try to perfect your native language (English) so that you may more readily realize your dream of becoming a successful sciencefiction author, comedian and political firebrand on X.

Guess what famous singer/songwriter Ray Wilson (ex-Genesis) did and who he is with.
He can barely count to ten in Polish and won't wash his long hair regularly.

 

[guest]

Ah thats a good point. You think spanish will be easy to learn though once i know italian?

Ciao bella, andiamo a mangiare in un bel posto dove possiamo rilassare e forse rimorchiare dopo al letto

hola amor, vamos a comer en un lindo restaurante donde podemos relajar y despues nos enamoramos en la cama.

.....no. it's hard enough for a native italian to communicate with spics, just imagine a gringo after 3-6 months of drunken duolingo.

just use your height and skin color to serenade apollonia, with language you're fucked.

 

[UnPRePared]

Guess what famous singer/songwriter Ray Wilson (ex-Genesis) did and who he is with.

A FAWKIN 10, that's who.

He can barely count to ten in Polish

It's the effort that counts.

and won't wash his long hair regularly.

Are you spying on me?

 

[LiberalPussy]

Ciao bella, andiamo a mangiare in un bel posto dove possiamo rilassare e forse rimorchiare dopo al letto

hola amor, vamos a comer en un lindo restaurante donde podemos relajar y despues nos enamoramos en la cama.

.....no. it's hard enough for a native italian to communicate with spics, just imagine a gringo after 3-6 months of drunken duolingo.

just use your height and skin color to serenade apollonia, with language you're fucked.

Hopefully his girl has more impressive milkers.

 

[guest]

Ciao bella, andiamo a mangiare in un bel posto dove possiamo rilassare e forse rimorchiare dopo al letto

hola amor, vamos a comer en un lindo restaurante donde podemos relajar y despues nos enamoramos en la cama.

.....no. it's hard enough for a native italian to communicate with spics, just imagine a gringo after 3-6 months of drunken duolingo.

just use your height and skin color to serenade apollonia, with language you're fucked.

Hm. Maybe i should just go to spain then. Cheaper, more festive, language is easier to learn, spaniard conquered filipino women have liked me...

And even tho im sooort of race mixing, theyre less brown than a lot of italians.

...and spanish food is better than italian.

Its a tough one man. @Honey Badger should I marry some spanish beefers?

 

[DMAN]

Hey, Now isn't that something?

 

[guest]

If i leqrn spanish i can sing rico suave

 

[BrotherMan1488]

Now THIS is podracing! Italian bitches are retarded, Dougie. Im not kidding. I've been with a couple of them over the years and they're all stupid fuckin bitches that refer to their fathers as "daddy", they give excellent blowjobs, they dont cook, their mothers will be excellent cooks/bakers, but the daughter wont do shit. You'll end up developing a crush on their mother, while you fuck their daughter. Been in that boat three fuckin times now. I love Italian milkers and Italian suckies, but my god their women are worthless in every other avenue.

Do you know how gay it is to realize "Fuck! Im more into her mom than her goddamn daughter"

 

[Billy Hollywood]

Hm. Maybe i should just go to spain then. Cheaper, more festive, language is easier to learn, spaniard conquered filipino women have liked me...

And even tho im sooort of race mixing, theyre less brown than a lot of italians.

Italian women look like standing up lizards with witch faces. I prefer Spanish/Hispanic women over the Italian ones.

...and spanish food is better than italian.

Now you went too far.

 

[Honey Badger]

Hm. Maybe i should just go to spain then. Cheaper, more festive, language is easier to learn, spaniard conquered filipino women have liked me...

And even tho im sooort of race mixing, theyre less brown than a lot of italians.

...and spanish food is better than italian.

It’s a tough one man. @Honey Badger should I marry some spanish beefers?

Not sure if I can help ya there. I’m more into their brown-skinned halfblood relatives.

I’m guessing this doesn’t fit into your existential crisis, but there’s lots of prostitutes in Madrid. Just all out in the open

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Jerry’s apartment had a VHS copy on his shelf of the film “Wired” which is the 1989 John Belushi bio pic that was a huge bomb and had no involvement from Belushi’s family and people like Lorne Michaels, John Landis, Dan Aykroyd threatened to sue. Belushi was played by Michael Chiklis and it almost killed his career before it even got started. Michael was on an early episode of Seinfeld which is why it’s on the shelf.

The movie itself is terrible and weird and hasn’t even been put on DVD but I think is on YouTube. Aykroyd hated the movie so much he actually had an actor fired from a supporting role in his movie “Loose Cannons” because they had a lead role in Wired.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Hm. Maybe i should just go to spain then. Cheaper, more festive, language is easier to learn, spaniard conquered filipino women have liked me...

And even tho im sooort of race mixing, theyre less brown than a lot of italians.

...and spanish food is better than italian.

Its a tough one man. @Honey Badger should I marry some spanish beefers?

Why don't you go wherever you actually want to go and live life? You don't need some master plan to start a family. Go somewhere you want to be, where you can properly communicate with people and eventually you'll meet a woman you like and you'll fall in love and start a family.

The way you remove all emotion from it is weird to me. It's like you want to go shopping in person for a mail order bride. Why would you want to start a family with that? Wouldn't you rather do that with someone you know you love and who loves you and you enjoy spending time with, etc? Someone who's on the same page with you regarding raising kids and you trust to be a good mother?

I get you're a trust fund kid and you need an heir or whatever, but it sounds like you're gonna put a baby in someone you don't really care about because I don't think you know what love is. You're like Forrest Gump is he was autistic. "I am not a smart man and I don't know what love is." Also, do you want to leave your riches to some mutt kid from a mother who just wanted to mooch off a desperate rich guy?

I just think certain things need to fall into place on their own. It's like you're setting up an arranged streetshitter marriage for yourself.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Jerry’s apartment had a VHS copy on his shelf of the film “Wired” which is the 1989 John Belushi bio pic that was a huge bomb and had no involvement from Belushi’s family and people like Lorne Michaels, John Landis, Dan Aykroyd threatened to sue. Belushi was played by Michael Chiklis and it almost killed his career before it even got started. Michael was on an early episode of Seinfeld which is why it’s on the shelf.

The movie itself is terrible and weird and hasn’t even been put on DVD but I think is on YouTube. Aykroyd hated the movie so much he actually had an actor fired from a supporting role in his movie “Loose Cannons” because they had a lead role in Wired.
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When the video rental place in my town I used to go to all the time closed, my dad bought me all of the Marx Bros movies and that Copacabana movie. It stars Groucho Marx and Carmen Miranda and he just got it because Groucho was in it. I remember thinking it kind of sucked. I probably thought that because I was a little kid and it was more of a proper movie and didn't have the slapstick bits.