Jacklinks Presents: Messin' With Fatsquatch

[FezFuckedBabyLove]

I found these on r/JerkyBoys these are some super funny prank calls

And this one's from r/BonusJoeMorningZoo

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I like how Rick thinks you’re going to have a bad time in prison. You clearly are going to thrive there. TYFYS.

 

[guest]

I like how Rick thinks you’re going to have a bad time in prison. You clearly are going to thrive there. TYFYS.

Pat thinks prison is like green mile or shawshank redemption
He thinks fezbqbyfucklove is gonna have to write his apologies for felony text harassment 10000 times with direct orders from the warden or face solitary, child.

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

Notice how you accused him of having a loose asshole and wearing a diaper to hold his meatloaf shits. But the only thing he correcTed the record on was Mama Raven's name.

 

[guest]

LOL, "threats". I would love to see him calling the FBI telling them with a straight face that the atalkers threated to fart in his wife's pussy and put a spice joint out in his eye if he came near them. Or threatening to pay a homeless guy to shoot a load in his car's exhaust pipe.

 

[ThatRetardWhoDoxxdHimself]

I like how threatening to shit on his 2 cylinder ‘Stang gets a more explicit death threat than shitting on his wife.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Touching his piece of shit car does not justify deadly force. Fatrick would go to prison for this.

 

[Cuphead]

The Joe texts at the end never get old

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

You know "susan sucks" cut him the deepest.

 

[Brooke Shields]

He's gonna end up killing a homeless guy who was paid $10 to shove poop in his car's muffler

 

[SFWA liaison]

curious how the obese, 1.7 GPA-looking stlaker that went to his home at 1 AM didn't touch Susan

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Touching his piece of shit car does not justify deadly force. Fatrick would go to prison for this.

Arent there a couple states where you could light up someone fucking with your car?

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Pat thinks prison is like green mile

A giant black guy may very well squeeze your boobs Pat, but I really don't think he's going to heal them.

 

[Harry Powell]

This is my favorite bit. Pat can probably tell that most of us are somewhat invested in society and are no real threat to him. Maybe Boomia or the occasional Nadolski would actually be at Hooli’s but they certainly aren’t going to throw a first punch.


However, FFBL is both addicted to drugs and seemingly insane. These texts and the photos of drug paraphernalia are genuinely unhinged. It’s great.

Pat’s tough guy act only works with people that have something to lose. He counts on the other person never calling his bluff.

What happens when the guy on the other end of the line actually truly does not give a fuck?

 

[BudDickman]

He really thinks he's clever when he uses euphemisms to conceal threats, homophobia, and racism.

• "You will be neutralized" => "I'll fuck you up"
• "It will be your last mistake" => "I'll kill you"
• "Your obsession with another man's body is very telling" => "What are you, a fucking faggot?"
• "You will not thrive in prison" => "Lol, niggers are gonna stretch out your asshole"

 

[Harry Powell]

He really thinks he's clever when he uses euphemisms to conceal threats, homophobia, and racism.

• "You will be neutralized" => "I'll fuck you up"
• "It will be your last mistake" => "I'll kill you"
• "Your obsession with another man's body is very telling" => "What are you, a fucking faggot?"
• "You will not thrive in prison" => "Lol, niggers are gonna stretch out your asshole"

The problem with that baby child is we already figured it out

 

[guest]

"I'll be smoking spice and makings buddies"

 

[guest]

LOL, "threats". I would love to see him calling the FBI telling them with a straight face that the atalkers threated to fart in his wife's pussy and put a spice joint out in his eye if he came near them. Or threatening to pay a homeless guy to shoot a load in his car's exhaust pipe.

How much are you willing to bet he deletes his responses first when presenting the "evidence"?

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I'm not saying @FezFuckedBabyLove should assault, rob, catcall, harass, molest, belliger, or even lightly tease Patso Potamus. I'm saying it would be hilarious if that did happen. That's all I'm sayin.