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I’m setting the alarm for 5:45 am…

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
Forum Clout
112,077
Do you use a generic alarm, Nigger Jim?

I personally use G Code by the Geto Boys to wake up
I never use music I like as a ring tone anymore because I end up being annoyed by it. My ring tone used to be the guitar solo from Stokin' the Neighbors by Lagwagon and Verne Troyer cumming. I remember going to the drunk tank one night and people were calling me incessantly and the ringer was on full volume. It was fucking maddening.
 

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

my sweet bonnie has never been “blacked” ❤️
Forum Clout
82,046
I don't know what the fuck is going on. It's 2am here. I woke up at 12am and I feel like I slept all night. I don't know when I went to sleep but it had to have been around 10. I drank 12 beers and had a big fire. I don't understand what the fuck is happening. I'm wide awake, totally sober and I feel great.
Blacking out on 12 beers? Rookie numbers.
 

Voscabulary

the lord chief constable knows I'm owen
Forum Clout
7,833
I never use music I like as a ring tone anymore because I end up being annoyed by it. My ring tone used to be the guitar solo from Stokin' the Neighbors by Lagwagon and Verne Troyer cumming. I remember going to the drunk tank one night and people were calling me incessantly and the ringer was on full volume. It was fucking maddening.
my ringtone used to be kernkraft 400 when I was a teenager and it permanently ruined the song for me. using anything but a default ringtone seems a bit embarrassing now, tbqhwy
 

Dog Eater

Paint Tin ASMR Enjoyer - Nuke Israel
Forum Clout
49,414
My cocks always on me
I woke up this morning
with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable

This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think
it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out
when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next the morning,
I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it

First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place
where the party was
They hadn't seen it either

I asked them to check
the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I
leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it
pops up to let me know

I called a few people
who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being
without my penis for too long

It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to having to sit down
Every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast

Then as I walked down Second
Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used
books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it

I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but
I talked him down to 17
I took it home, washed it off
And put it back on

I was happy again, complete
People sometimes tell me
I should get it permanently
attached but I don't know
Even though sometimes
it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis
 
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