I’m flying to California tonight and get nervous going through TSA. Does anyone have any funny goofs, jokes, gags, or hijinks to lighten the mood?

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I think I’m going to do an “I got ya nose” to the flight attendant.

 

[Hairy Peckas]

Tell the flight attendant you have a bomb in your luggage and then squeeze her tit. Or you could just openly read hustler while seated next to a child. Both ideas are a lot of fun and sure to lead to some laughs!

 

[:sumaturry:]

Pretend to be retarded and when they try to wand you start hooting and saying NO DATS DA BAD TOUCH IT'S DA BAD TOUCH

 

[johnnynoname]

Ironically, I have nothing funny to say.

Say hi to Magic Johnson’s faggot son, child

 

[Long Island Clan]

Wear a "Don't tread on me" T shirt.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Tell the stewardess you like your coffee how you like your men: hot down your throat.

 

[Leonard Rhomberg]

Oh i have one

Tell the TSA agent that you apologize ahead of time but there are a bunch of bombs in your carry on bag and then they unzip it and its a jim norton special

Bomb in airport joke AND you get to zing jim norton

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

I think I’m going to do an “I got ya nose” to the flight attendant.

Tell the flight attendant you have a bomb in your luggage and then squeeze her tit. Or you could just openly read hustler while seated next to a child. Both ideas are a lot of fun and sure to lead to some laughs!

Tell the stewardess you like your coffee how you like your men: hot down your throat.

why do you all think flight attendants are the TSA employees who provide security?

 

[Safka's Enticer]

why do you all think flight attendants are the TSA employees who provide security?

Because TSA agents are just fat negresses so there's no point

 

[HalfHouseFatty]

Wear this

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Because TSA agents are just fat negresses so there's no point

So, in your mind, if a profession has obese black women who work in it...it makes sense to call it by a different profession? What if the wrong profession you call it also has overweight black women? I'm trying to understand the logic here.

 

[johnnynoname]

“california”
“……..California”
“………….CALIFORNIA”
“HERE WE COMMMMMMMEEEE (to kiss you especially if your a man”

 

[Safka's Enticer]

So, in your mind, if a profession has obese black women who work in it...it makes sense to call it by a different profession? What if the wrong profession you call it also has overweight black women? I'm trying to understand the logic here.

There's no good pranks to play on them cause Shaniqua don't care about anything besides when her break is

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

There's no good pranks to play on them cause Shaniqua don't care about anything besides when her break is

Kind of comes across a little racist, tbh

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Ask them if the metal detector picks up 3d printed guns and if they know if Gavin Newsom will be home this weekend. Bonus if you yell 5 breakfast cereals when answering any questions.

 

[johnnynoname]

“…….HERE WEEEE COMMMMMMME”

 

[Cleo's Dad]

I wouldn't be worried about the TSA. I would be worried about the fawkin plane falling out of the sky

 

[Turk February]

"I am not carrying drugs to California, in going there to pick them up, duh"

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Pretend to be retarded

Pretend?