If I were a comedian and I had a podcast

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'd have only other comedians on as guests, as they all do. I'd ask all the same questions and talk about the same shit they all do as if the same 10 comedians have any valuable input to give over and over.

The only thing that would set me apart would be that I wouldn't allow the guests to plug their own podcasts or live dates because I'm running a goddamn business and they're the competition.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Abe. You would suck off every dude you could. Not even for them to come on your podcast. Just your face.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Abe. You would suck off every dude you could. Not even for them to come on your podcast. Just your face.

That's not true. I don't suck off competition.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

That's not true. I don't suck off competition.

You're gay, not Jewish. You’re more “dick-throat” than “cut-throat”. You weren’t even man enough to get your BK crown from an Indian. If you go back he’ll have you mounted, my friend.

 

[Turk February]

I'd bring in a high level government interrogator to demand they explain why a particular joke they made on a special is funny for an hour. Then I'd probably do an ad for Helix Mattress

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

You're gay, not Jewish. You’re more “dick-throat” than “cut-throat”. You weren’t even man enough to get your BK crown from an Indian. If you go back he’ll have you mounted, my friend.

I'm gonna make a crown from that fucker's smelly bones.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I'm gonna make a jizz mask from that fucker's smelly boner

I’ll help you start telling the truth Abe.

 

[Turry]

If I were a carpenter and you were a lady

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

If I were a carpenter and you were a lady

If I were a comedian
And I had a podcast
I'd get Kim Congdon pregnant
And then go out of my way to avoid her forever

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

Just do man of the streets Ontario style. First episode go to BK and get your hat king.

 

[RealTonySchiavone]

If you were a comedian with a podcast, you'd suddenly find yourself seeing a creepy jewish therapist who'd gossip about you with other comedians.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Just do man of the streets Ontario style. First episode go to BK and get your hat king.

"Welcome to Do It To It with Abe Vigoda. I'm here at Burger King with the manager Balwinder. Balwinder, the people want to know, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?? WHY DID YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME?? DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT?? YOU FUCKING LIAR??"

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

Would you dive into "the craft" of comedy? Or not bother, as since civilian brains aren't wired the same it'd be effectively a waste of time?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

If you were a comedian with a podcast, you'd suddenly find yourself seeing a creepy jewish therapist who'd gossip about you with other comedians.

That guy's golden buttboy Dan Soder's girlfriend Katie Nolan was on The Bonfire recently and she talks about therapy like it's for pussies and didn't say it directly but obviously thinks that Alan guy is a weird fuck.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Would you dive into "the craft" of comedy? Or not bother, as since civilian brains aren't wired the same it'd be effectively a waste of time?

The craft, specific numbers that I've been paid, etc. Civilians don't understand it but they need to hear it. For some reason.

 

[JebJoh]

I'd have only other comedians on as guests, as they all do. I'd ask all the same questions and talk about the same shit they all do as if the same 10 comedians have any valuable input to give over and over.

The only thing that would set me apart would be that I wouldn't allow the guests to plug their own podcasts or live dates because I'm running a goddamn business and they're the competition.

I would only have low level politicians, religious nuts and legitimate scientists on my show, let them talk and see what happens

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

I would only have low level politicians, religious nuts and legitimate scientists on my show, let them talk and see what happens

So people from here. Stupid bubbler has constituents. lol

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I would only have low level politicians, religious nuts and legitimate scientists on my show, let them talk and see what happens

I'm not trying to do anything interesting or entertaining here. It's a comedy podcast. And that doesn't mean that comedy happens on the show, necessarily. It is just discussed. It's about self-promotion. But only for me. Not the competition.

 

[Turry]

I would only have low level politicians, religious nuts and legitimate scientists on my show, let them talk and see what happens

Sign me up

 

[JebJoh]

Sign me up

Go to JoeRogan.Com and add your name