I used to do this bit when I was about 8 years old

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

I was always getting dragged to my brother's soccer practices so I used to take two soccer balls and put them by my chest and say "I'm Britney Spears" then I would hold them by my stomach and say "I'm Kathy Lee" because I overheard some adult say she had saggy boobs. Got a pretty good response. It was topical in 1998.

 

[Prince Bvstin]

Jim Norton currently reading and figuring out how to work this into his act

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

I was always getting dragged to my brother's soccer practices so I used to take two soccer balls and put them by my chest and say "I'm Britney Spears" then I would hold them by my stomach and say "I'm Kathy Lee" because I overheard some adult say she had saggy boobs. Got a pretty good response. It was topical in 1998.

And you can always just change the name to a current saggy titted whore, from the current era, to make it relevant to the crowd. Its a timeless bit that keeps on giving.

 

[guest]

This is off topic but you reminded me of something.

In kindergarten, also in 1998, I had this kid named Kevin who always wore KISS t-shirts in my class. We were going outside for recess and this fat white bitch named ShaLayne was complaining about it. Out of nowhere Kevin says "Shut up, you fat bitch." Fuckin killed with the class.

 

[guest]

We’re still hilarious, gang!

 

[Stent]

You ever pretend the garden hose was you pissing? Laugh riot.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

Imagine being a comedian living this (probably once) and thinking 'man i really got something here, people should pay for this. maybe itll get me laid or ill make a career out of it'

Pathetic.

 

[medium wyzzz]

Jim Norton currently reading and figuring out how to work this into his act

you spelled "jay mohr" wrong.

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

And you can always just change the name to a current saggy titted whore, from the current era, to make it relevant to the crowd. Its a timeless bit that keeps on giving.

I am Gregg Opie Hughes

 

[Dennyislife]

I did a Viagra joke around the same age and pretended did a bit where I would stand as tall and straight as possible and say I overdosed on Viagra. I had to do it Infront of the class once it killed

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I used to say “Its snowing!” and make the whole class look outside, only to see that I was pulling their leg.
At that point, I knew I wasnt a mere civilian

 

[TomFromNawlins]

I used to say “Its snowing!” and make the whole class look outside, only to see that I was pulling their leg.
At that point, I knew I wasnt a mere civilian

Nice pencil case, stupid.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Jim Norton currently reading and figuring out how to work this into his act

"Then, once my parents thought I might be straight to again I be went and sucked off guys under the porch"

 

[aRTie02150]

I remember calling the Teachers Assistant in my Kindergarten "Anna Banana" and everyone fucking laughed. It pretty much turned me into the class clown until I finished high school.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

"Then, once my parents thought I might be straight to again I be went and sucked off guys under the porch"

Nice grammatical errors in an otherwise funny post, stupid.

 

[Jenna]

I was in a teasemance with this girl named Amanda in 4th grade where we'd just quip back and forth every day saying how we didn't like each other. One time I said her name was Amanda because she was "A Man, duh" which popped the boys pretty hard.

 

[Ladynyahh]

Where we at with milk, milk, lemonade, turn the corner fudge is made? An old time favorite where I come from

 

[not that Jack Horner]

some kid was pretending to be frozen when it was his turn at wall ball, fat fucker killed

i had some parallel thinking and tried the same but moments later

crickets

felt horrible shame

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Nice grammatical errors in an otherwise funny post, stupid.

No clue where that came from. I can't even blame being drunk.

 

[fusciasomething]

In elementary school one of my friends was giving some sort of report and I kicked his crutches out from under him. The entire class and teacher laughed at him and I didn't get in any trouble. HIs still brings it up 20 years later