I have a theory about why Kevin Smith stuff sucks so much

[AntSucks]

He killed off He-Man in the first episode of his new show and it's now all about the chick. He makes clearly terrible decisions that even anger his own fans.

Everytime people criticise him for something he does even more of it. Look at how terribly reviewed that movie with his daughter was, but rather than learn he made her the star of Jay and Silent Bob Strike back. Everything that was terrible about Clerks he brought back for Clerks 2. Everything that's terrible about that he's bringing back for Clerks 3. He's even making a sequel to Mallrats which was bad even for Kevin Smith movies in that era.

He is obviously sexually aroused by terrible reviews. He has some kind of cuck\humiliation fetish type thing where he imagines people saying "Oh you're such a bad director. Who's a bad director. Take 1 star for this dreck you naughty director". I think he probably jerks off more to his rotten tomato reviews than pornhub.

Sick\bad guy.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

i thought it was just because he is a typical comic book worshipping faggot from new jersey.

there's a million kevin smiths in the tri-state area and every one of them has cried at a marvel movie

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

My theory: he's a massive faggot.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

He's a slacker manchild who peaked in the era of slacker manchildren.

 

[DMAN]

Everything that was terrible about Clerks he brought back for Clerks 2

What the fuck are you talking about... those movies were almost nothing alike and 2 was good.

His daughter has been ghost writing and directing all his shit since his sugar daddy Weinstein went down. He's setting himself up for some reddit karma with the big reveal.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

He's untalented and he was never actually any good, but he got lucky with Clerks. People like a handful of his other films; I think Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back was great because it's a comedy that for once didn't have any shitty moments of sincerity.

He's one of a lot of directors who only did a couple of well-received things and proved that they got lucky. Spike Lee, M. Night Shamafaggot... same goes in the music industry with guys like Peter Frampton or whoever.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

It was easy to see that he was going to make heman woke washed. He was denying it too. The art looks great but thats about all thats good.

 

[LiberalPussy]

Kang Grayskull! BAH THE POWER OF MUH WELFARE CHECK!

 

[Easily_Remembered]

He was better when he was fat, and weed ruined him.

Also, he's clearly fucking his daughter.

 

[Will Tate]

As long as he weeps like a spurned high school girl over children's movies and shamelessly shills for them he'll get to direct an episode or 2 of some CW capeshit show a year and hang on to the last shred of relevance he has. He used to be the cool mainstream guy who was into geek shit--a "stealthy geek," if you will--now that geek shit is mainstream he'll kiss every ass he needs to to keep his seat at the table. If that means breaking down into tears over how much a shitty Star Wars movie blew his "fucking MIIIND, man!" or lying so much during the run-up to this He-Man show that his baked ass can't remember what he said from one day to the next, that's what he's gonna do.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

What the fuck are you talking about... those movies were almost nothing alike and 2 was good.

His daughter has been ghost writing and directing all his shit since his sugar daddy Weinstein went down. He's setting himself up for some reddit karma with the big reveal.

 

[DMAN]

Kevin Smith Made Netflix’s ‘Masters of the Universe: Revelation’ Specifically to Please ‘He-Man’ Fans. Some Got Mad Anyway.

Kevin Smith says he made Netflix's 'Masters of the Universe: Revelation' specifically to please 'He-Man' fans, but some got mad anyway.

variety.com

Kevin Smith Made Netflix’s ‘Masters of the Universe: Revelation’ Specifically to Please ‘He-Man’ Fans. Some Got Mad Anyway.​

"You really fucking think Mattel Television, who hired me and paid me money, wants to do a fucking 'Masters of the Universe' show without He-Man? Grow the fuck up, man." - Kevin Smith

 

[guest]

I want to see a television series set in 1939 where it's revealed that Eva Braun was the mastermind. #girlboss

 

[Cyberatorquer]

I want to see a television series set in 1939 where it's revealed that Eva Braun was the mastermind. #girlboss

Hitler deferred to her. Strongest woman in the world at the time.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Kevin Smith Made Netflix’s ‘Masters of the Universe: Revelation’ Specifically to Please ‘He-Man’ Fans. Some Got Mad Anyway.

Kevin Smith says he made Netflix's 'Masters of the Universe: Revelation' specifically to please 'He-Man' fans, but some got mad anyway.

variety.com

Kevin Smith Made Netflix’s ‘Masters of the Universe: Revelation’ Specifically to Please ‘He-Man’ Fans. Some Got Mad Anyway.​

"You really fucking think Mattel Television, who hired me and paid me money, wants to do a fucking 'Masters of the Universe' show without He-Man? Grow the fuck up, man." - Kevin Smith

"Grow the fuck up, man", says the man in his mid 50s who still wears a backwards baseball cap, cries at capeshit movies and surrounds himself with Funko Pops.

 

[guest]

2 threads about this? Are we lost?

 

[Naked_Militiaman]

The only great thing that Kevin Smith was ever involved with was the Clerks animated series in 2000 which is wildly underrated even among his faggot fans. I believe ABC cancelled the series after the second episode aired (and censored the hilarious Flintstones Schindler’s List joke in it) but the whole show was later released on dvd which was a burgeoning thing at the time where it found appreciation amongst brothermen like me who disliked his films including the original Clerks but enjoyed the funny ass humor in the series which was very different than the gay stoner/capeshit humor in his movies. Credit should really go to the other writers on the show like Scott Mosier and David Mandel (an impressive get considering he was riding high from Seinfeld) who were obviously way funnier than this ugly longfaced crybaby homo.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

The only great thing that Kevin Smith was ever involved with was the Clerks animated series in 2000 which is wildly underrated even among his faggot fans. I believe ABC cancelled the series after the second episode aired (and censored the hilarious Flintstones Schindler’s List joke in it) but the whole show was later released on dvd which was a burgeoning thing at the time where it found appreciation amongst brothermen like me who disliked his films including the original Clerks but enjoyed the funny ass humor in the series which was very different than the gay stoner/capeshit humor in his movies. Credit should really go to the other writers on the show like Scott Mosier and David Mandel (an impressive get considering he was riding high from Seinfeld) who were obviously way funnier than this ugly longfaced crybaby homo.

The animation series was great. It’s like Home Movies where it’s a really funny show but you never hear people talk about it.

 

[DMAN]

Clerks Animated Series perfected that post-Simpsons era 'Family Guy' wacky adult cartoon format.

Whereas Family Guy is more for millennial retards who just want to clap like seals at bad references, Clerks had genuinely funny gags.

Part of the reason it failed was it was nothing like the movie, so there was no built-in audience. Then you also had them fighting an uphill battle with network on everything from the jokes to the fucking color palette of every frame.

I first saw it thanks to replays on Adult Swim back when they were just a replay block of syndicated 'cool' shows that flew under the radar.

It was well designed, well written, and unfortunately not enough episodes to call it an all timer. The shittiest part is any subsequent reboot will be terrible because everything Kevin Smith touches turns to shit now.

God love Brian OHalloran. That fucker shows up to every convention with a big smile on his face. You can tell he genuinely appreciates the love, regardless of how little it might be.

 

[Chapel]

So when this goes tits up does the one trick pony go back to his played out Jay and Silent Bob movies or just cry