I am not gay.

[Gay Faggot.]

Just a boring, Cis white male. I have many gay and trans friends, all of whom I’ve had to protect at one point or another. Just last week I was at a bar with my gay friend, @CarolMaxheinie. Some bikers came in and told him he needed to leave because he was gay. Carol responded and said “The only thing gayer than me, are a bunch of biker fags.” and he stood up to fight. The bikers were heavy set, and below 6’1 so it was easy to tell. They saw carols physic and realized it probably wouldn’t be worth it so they just walked away. I sat in the corner furiously masturbating. I shutter to think what could have happened to him had I not been there. This is a daily occurrence for members of the LGBTQ+ community. It is our job as Cis White males to put an end to this bigotry.

 

[UnPRePared]

You're a hero yourself.

Imagine if you weren't there masturbating? How else could you have been an ally?

I'm so sorry, Paul.

 

[guest]

Same shit happened to me once!

My gay friend and I were playing with our cocks at the bar when these bikers told us to stop. I told them it wasn't their show and locked the door and said " Now you's can't leave" ...they knew they went to the wrong bar, child.

 

[EraGodless]

American Badass

 

[Mc.Faggot]

I've let strange men suck my penis for literally no reason other than to prove I'm not a faggot

Nothing proves your hetero status like getting hard in some fat Mexican's mouth, sitting in his minivan looking at his kid's toys lying on the floor mat

 

[UnPRePared]

This whole thread contains heroic, very heterosexual men that are so, so brave.

One time on tour, Tony Banks missed his wife Margaret and asked if I would hold him. We spooned - myself the little one, because I could tell he wanted to be the dominant - and we were shirtless to feel the warmth of each other as we embraced in our loneliness and Masculinity.

Mike Rutherford cried and tweaked his nipples in the corner as an act of solidarity while we slept.

I'm so sorry, Paul.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

This all sounds like the literal definition of "gay," if ya ask me.

 

[EraGodless]

 

[Heyfellas]

Carol and I cuddle

 

[EraGodless]

Carol and I cuddle

 

[Cyberatorquer]

When i rape other men to cause them humiliation and punishment, it is still very important to me that they're sexually satisfied. As an ally, i want them to ejaculate before or ideally right with me.

 

[UnPRePared]

Tony told me over a round of Whiskey Sours that Phil and Peter used to play Tummy Sticks at the local pubs during the Selling England by The Pound Tour, and if Phil won, he got to sing More Fool Me without being mocked by the rest of the band.

As an aside, such an incredibly masculine and heterosexual act done in public put so much fear in the local hooligans, that they straightened up their lives and began giving back to the community: helping the needy, joining food banks, and working with Jimmy Savile.

I'm so, so very sorry, Paul.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

www.theonion.com

I finally feel comfortable sharing my story. Thank you, brothamen.
Paul, I cannot express my sorrow. Genuinely, I'd tell you if I could.