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How would you feel about some mouthy, doughy piece of shit hawking his rocket-ships-and-trans-spacelobsters books in your establishment? Would you want to know about it? Just curious. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
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Hypothetically speaking, if you were a bar owner...
- Thread starter DrTorqueCarlisi
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I'm probably against the grain here assuming pat isn't an actual alcoholic, so it makes no business sense to tell him to fuck off to dweebsville. But at a few pints and a boy burger a day?
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If I were a carpenter and you were a lady...? 
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I’d let him do it long enough so he could establish it as a viable revenue stream and then I’d tell him I want my cut, which would be a predatory % of his gross sales plus a flat quarterly fee for writing in my establishment.
If he started making a fuss, I’d use my position as a leader of the local community to blacklist him and Niki at all the local bars and restaurants.
If he continues to whine and cry about my proposal, I’d show up on NPS with a few of my employees to tell hilarious Patrick stories and then pay some homeless guy to steal his bike.
If he started making a fuss, I’d use my position as a leader of the local community to blacklist him and Niki at all the local bars and restaurants.
If he continues to whine and cry about my proposal, I’d show up on NPS with a few of my employees to tell hilarious Patrick stories and then pay some homeless guy to steal his bike.
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The first time all my printer ink got used up from a bunch of faxes of him blowing Trump I'd be like "You being here causes problems for me. Do you realize how expensive printer ink is? What did you do to anger these people? Must have been something heinous. You're a bad person. Get out of my sight."
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The FartyJohn collection would be hung with prominence in the employee bathroom.
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I’d get tough with him and tell him to mind his p’s and q’s.
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I'd call in Jim and Sam, those guys really know bars
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I would probably just let all my low rent customers take care of this hypothetical fat man
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You sound like Gay Perry.
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If you even say the name Patrick Tomlinson while on the phone with Hooligans, they instantly hang up. That nigger is 1000% persona non grata BANNED
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I think Pat would be a really good customer, and I could probably trick him into buying top shelf tequila no one ever buys
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I never would have let him take up bar space with his stupid tablet and mouse, and I also would have told him to take his greasy cap off my bar.
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I would tell him it’s some safety / insurance issue of why he can’t have his laptop on the bar and he needs to take it to a table. Him doing that to try and impress people at the bar is one of the most cringe things he does.
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How would you feel about a customer blowing Trump being sent to your fax machine?
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im probably going to Milwaukee for work in the next few months and plan to take the Tomlinson tour.
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Well don't forget that building that has a catwalk over an alley. I heard on Xitter it's kinda wacky!
