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Hoe thread

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guest

Guest
Tell crazy hoe stories here, also ask for advice about hoes, and also roast fellow autists for doing dumb shit with hoes.

I'll start:

Met a girl last night, we hit it off pretty well, she came back to my place and we started drinking extremely heavily. I hadn't had a drink in literally years so my tolerance was low and I got wasted. I finally made a move on her which she turned down. She asked if she could sleep on my couch and I politely told her to gtfo since I have valuables and I don't want a stranger in my apartment while I sleep, she was like OK. This afternoon she texted me and was like "lol you were so drunk last night can I come over again?". She's also saying shit like "sorry I'm not playing hard to get". I would very much like to fuck her since I am a Nazi incel atalker. I also don't feel like staying up until 5am on a work night and drinking again only to get blue balls. What would you do in this situation?
 
EraGodless

EraGodless

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John Doe 1 said:
Tell crazy hoe stories here, also ask for advice about hoes, and also roast fellow autists for doing dumb shit with hoes.

I'll start:

Met a girl last night, we hit it off pretty well, she came back to my place and we started drinking extremely heavily. I hadn't had a drink in literally years so my tolerance was low and I got wasted. I finally made a move on her which she turned down. She asked if she could sleep on my couch and I politely told her to gtfo since I have valuables and I don't want a stranger in my apartment while I sleep, she was like OK. This afternoon she texted me and was like "lol you were so drunk last night can I come over again?". She's also saying shit like "sorry I'm not playing hard to get". I would very much like to fuck her since I am a Nazi incel atalker. I also don't feel like staying up until 5am on a work night and drinking again only to get blue balls. What would you do in this situation?
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guest

Guest
I've been in that situation. I regretted giving it a 2nd attempt because I got blueballed twice in a row and I felt like a loser. But I'm over it now; I don't really care about being rejected by women anymore since there are so many losers out there who get rejected constantly. If I was in that situation again I'd still give it a 2nd go.
 
TheRevAlJolson

TheRevAlJolson

Blackface Killah
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Had a hoe come through my place a few weeks back. She's a deep roster bitch and we fuck on and off. Drinks, smoke, whatever - then I was showing her my dope ass walk in spa shower with the new high-flow Speakman head. Shit starts happening and she's blowing me in the shower. Nice. I go to fuck her and she's like "hold on" and dashes naked from the shower into the living room. I'm like wtf? but she comes back with a bottle of Astroglide. She pours that shit all over her and me, working the Dick and balls. Feels great, but the shit is like waterproof and the shower floor is getting crazy slick like ice. Shift her over the shower seat to finish the job.

The whole next week that fucking shower is a death trap. It's slippery as fuck in there and I almost bust my ass twice. Fuck.

Finally my cleaning lady comes later that week. She's like 60, some kinda spanish (Cuban maybe?) and a saint of a woman. I have to tell her about the slick shower so she can clean it extra good or whatever. She's cleaning it and she's like "why your shower so oily? Whats with all the oil?" I'm like "Who knows?" But we both knew. I could see it on her face as she was asking. Fucking awkward shit
 
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potatopeeler63

Guest
Just
John Doe 1 said:
Tell crazy hoe stories here, also ask for advice about hoes, and also roast fellow autists for doing dumb shit with hoes.

I'll start:

Met a girl last night, we hit it off pretty well, she came back to my place and we started drinking extremely heavily. I hadn't had a drink in literally years so my tolerance was low and I got wasted. I finally made a move on her which she turned down. She asked if she could sleep on my couch and I politely told her to gtfo since I have valuables and I don't want a stranger in my apartment while I sleep, she was like OK. This afternoon she texted me and was like "lol you were so drunk last night can I come over again?". She's also saying shit like "sorry I'm not playing hard to get". I would very much like to fuck her since I am a Nazi incel atalker. I also don't feel like staying up until 5am on a work night and drinking again only to get blue balls. What would you do in this situation?
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Just get the 2 beer buzz as to not get sloppy, put on a movie and make a move within the hour when you’re on the couch, child
If she rejects again, kick that hoo-rah out and sleep like a little infant baby
 
Snake

Snake

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John Doe 1 said:
Tell crazy hoe stories here, also ask for advice about hoes, and also roast fellow autists for doing dumb shit with hoes.

I'll start:

Met a girl last night, we hit it off pretty well, she came back to my place and we started drinking extremely heavily. I hadn't had a drink in literally years so my tolerance was low and I got wasted. I finally made a move on her which she turned down. She asked if she could sleep on my couch and I politely told her to gtfo since I have valuables and I don't want a stranger in my apartment while I sleep, she was like OK. This afternoon she texted me and was like "lol you were so drunk last night can I come over again?". She's also saying shit like "sorry I'm not playing hard to get". I would very much like to fuck her since I am a Nazi incel atalker. I also don't feel like staying up until 5am on a work night and drinking again only to get blue balls. What would you do in this situation?
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“I’m not playing hard to get.”

Unless she texts multiple angles of her butthole, tell her to kindly leave you alone, little baby chowlld.
 
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potatopeeler63

Guest
When i was 21 or so I was on tinder one night and matched with this slam pig, didnt know how big she was.
she had pictures of oil a rig and weed and messaged me “this shit isn’t gonna smoke itself”

i get there and she’s literally 5’10 220. like 25 yo ijngrad school.
Literally looked like ginny sacs. But I’m a degenerate so fuck it.
she makes mixed drinks with vodka cran and we start hitting the rig.
at the time if I would get too high for some reason I would start involuntarily shivering, not sure why.

she got this maternal instinct and covered me with a blanket, and then went into her closet and brought out like a mu-mu onesie and had me put it on.
after a while watching some zombie movie 28 days i think?
She pulls me on her and start heavy frenching.
One thing leads to another and we go to her bed and fuck.
i vividly remember pushing her head down as shes blowing me, she snaps and goes “dont do that. I dont like that”.

i wake up in her bed rock hard and she’s asleep so im grinding her gross ass for like 20 minutes. She wakes up and i get on top missionary no rubber, since I’ve been edging for 20 minutes i literally pump 3 times and cum everywhere as i pull out.
she doesnt realize it, i say i gotta pee really bad be right back and then make up an excuse that i have to go to work and get dressed and leave.
never see her again
 
DiarrheaDick

DiarrheaDick

Get up here and shut up!
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Years ago, while in a drunken stupor at 2 in the morning, my neighbor's girlfriend was knocking on my door, sobbing and begging for me to let her in. I open the door and she has mascara running down her face and was wearing a bridesmaid's dress while holding her shoes. She told me she and her boyfriend got into a fight on the way home from his sister's wedding, and he kicked her out of the car and she had to walk home, just to find the dude didn't actually go home and she didn't know where he was and had no keys to get into their apartment. I let her in and let her crash in my bed while I took the couch (studio apartment, and yes, very beta move). She said she was scared and wanted me to get into the bed with her, which I obliged. After she starts jerking me off and I start fingering her, she asks if I wanted her to squirt, so I said sure. She proceeded to start screaming (I think she thought she was moaning) and basically piss all over my floor. I eventually came on her face and tits (her request) and she then proceeded to smear the cum all over the rest of her chest and stomach. She then went to my kitchen and did the oddest thing. She started cupping water with one hand and repeatedly splashed it on herself and kind of jumped a bit while she did it. She looked like a combination of a bird in a birdbath and a dolphin doing tail tricks at Sea World until I told her she could simply use the shower in my bathroom. She crashed the rest of the night and I took her to her Mom's the next morning on the way to work.

It didn't stop there though. She would leave their apartment randomly whenever her boyfriend would pass out (lots of drugs/ alcohol) to come hang out with me and we always fucked. At one point she actually left their apartment in just panties to come by (they lived upstairs). She was always insanely loud. Not sure if it was just her, or if she was doing it on purpose to piss off her boyfriend. Found out she apparently died a few years back at 29 years.

She was a good whooa.
 
G

guest

Guest
Agent Qadan said:
I've been in that situation. I regretted giving it a 2nd attempt because I got blueballed twice in a row and I felt like a loser. But I'm over it now; I don't really care about being rejected by women anymore since there are so many losers out there who get rejected constantly. If I was in that situation again I'd still give it a 2nd go.
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In case anyone cares I let her come back for round 2. We drank for 30 mins and she literally said "hey can I take a nap in your bed?" I was like "yeah sure" and she went into my bedroom and laid down. I went in and started spooning her and she was like "STOP" and I was like "don't worry I'm not doing anything" and she was like "oh ok" with me literally on top of her. Then I started reaching up her shirt and she was like "STOOOP" so then I got off and told her to go home. Then she started crying and telling me she lays in guys' beds all the time and they don't try anything. I was like "oh ok cool" and she left eventually. Might be a rape fetishist but either way I don't do that shit
 
Udders

Udders

Great food
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John Doe 1 said:
In case anyone cares I let her come back for round 2. We drank for 30 mins and she literally said "hey can I take a nap in your bed?" I was like "yeah sure" and she went into my bedroom and laid down. I went in and started spooning her and she was like "STOP" and I was like "don't worry I'm not doing anything" and she was like "oh ok" with me literally on top of her. Then I started reaching up her shirt and she was like "STOOOP" so then I got off and told her to go home. Then she started crying and telling me she lays in guys' beds all the time and they don't try anything. I was like "oh ok cool" and she left eventually. Might be a rape fetishist but either way I don't do that shit
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After giving her that second chance, its time to report and block. Fuck that noise, shes nuts.
 
WhereWeAt

WhereWeAt

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Found a nice one on craigslist... very pretty (and also pretty chubby) American Indian (feather) lived on a reservation and everything. Took her out for Vietnamese, walked her to her car, kissed and started progressing our way into her car. Get inside for full-blown sex in the parking lot of this above average restaurant for our quiet desert city. Testing the car's suspension, the privacy of Honda Accords' backseats, all that shit. Walk to my car... and it all starts up all over again. Good times.

Fast forward a week or so and she's taking my calls, but being kind of coy. She wound up meeting me at the airport when I was leaving for a work trip, but was being aloof. I came to find out she was engaged to some cuck of an Army dude. What I still wonder is, "Was this a last fling before marriage or was she just a straight up dirty whore who does this shit on the regular?" Or was he an actual cuck who got off on her doing this shit?
 
RobertMewler

RobertMewler

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TheRevAlJolson said:
Finally my cleaning lady comes later that week. She's like 60, some kinda spanish (Cuban maybe?) and a saint of a woman. I have to tell her about the slick shower so she can clean it extra good or whatever. She's cleaning it and she's like "why your shower so oily? Whats with all the oil?" I'm like "Who knows?" But we both knew. I could see it on her face as she was asking. Fucking awkward shit
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Tell Lupe you don't pay her for her conversation.
 
stealthygeek

stealthygeek

Reminder: Vincent D'Onofrio blocked Patrick
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TheRevAlJolson said:
Finally my cleaning lady comes later that week. She's like 60, some kinda spanish (Cuban maybe?) and a saint of a woman. I have to tell her about the slick shower so she can clean it extra good or whatever. She's cleaning it and she's like "why your shower so oily? Whats with all the oil?" I'm like "Who knows?" But we both knew. I could see it on her face as she was asking. Fucking awkward shit
Click to expand...
Pic Related:

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