First Annual Pat Tomlinson Weight Loss Challenge

[Salted Earth Truffle]

If Pat had a scintilla of dignity, he’d put down the fucking fork and lose the 70 pounds he’s packed on over the past year.

But he doesn’t and he won’t. Imagine being an enormous failure whose only losses are in funds and dignity, never in adipose tissue.

I bet this fat moron can’t lose 20 pounds by January 1, 2023. It would be so easy for him to win this bet, but he won’t, because he lacks the most basic self-control. His critics control him now. We say he’ll only grow fatter and he has no choice but to prove us right.

 

[HotDogJoe]

He'd have to believe he's overweight first, which he doesn't. He's also a severe alcoholic who pretty much exclusively eats bar slop, so the chances of him losing weight are slim (tee hee!) to none.

 

[guest]

I am really curious to not only see how fat he will get, but how fat he will get while still denying he's fat.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

He'd have to believe he's overweight first, which he doesn't. He's also a severe alcoholic who pretty much exclusively eats bar slop, so the chances of him losing weight are slim (tee hee!) to none.

I bet he hasn’t gone longer than 12 hours without a beer since he was 21.

 

[HotDogJoe]

I am really curious to not only see how fat he will get, but how fat he will get while still denying he's fat.

Does anyone have that screenshot from when he was on that sci fi author webinar thing? The one right after he lost his Twitter account and it looked like he'd been crying all day.

There was a screenshot where he was the most shockingly fat I've ever seen him. Like he was actually purple in it. I'm sure someone has it.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

“Never been more svelte, child. I’m sorry you don’t know a chiseled physique when you see one.”

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I bet he hasn’t gone longer than 12 hours without a beer since he was 21.

Pat didn’t become frat pat until after Ade broke his mind. He was in his 30’s. So, it’s more embarrassing than even that.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Pat didn’t become frat pat until after Ade broke his mind. He was in his 30’s. So, it’s more embarrassing than even that.

He just strikes me as the kind of loser who started drinking in high school because he thought it made him seem macho and less like the mincing faggot everyone knows he is.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

He just strikes me as the kind of loser who started drinking in high school because he thought it made him seem macho and less like the mincing faggot everyone knows he is.

Nope. He was specifically not invited to any parties in high school. He made up some fantasy where he went to keggers in barns, which wasn’t even done 60 years ago. He desperately wanted to be cool enough to drink in high school. Once again, all of these fantasies started after Ade buck broke him.

 

[Harry Powell]

Nope. He was specifically not invited to any parties in high school. He made up some fantasy where he went to keggers in barns, which wasn’t even done 60 years ago. He desperately wanted to be cool enough to drink in high school. Once again, all of these fantasies started after Ade buck broke him.

I live in the Midwest, we had plenty of keggers in barns. There’s no chance Pat was ever invited to any.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I live in the Midwest, we had plenty of keggers in barns. There’s no chance Pat was ever invited to any.

I spent my high school years in the Midwest, there were no keggers in barns. In the woods? Yes, a lot of them were. Maybe you were more farmland? The area Rick is from isn’t exactly farm heavy compared to Iowa, as an example.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

Does anyone have that screenshot from when he was on that sci fi author webinar thing? The one right after he lost his Twitter account and it looked like he'd been crying all day.

There was a screenshot where he was the most shockingly fat I've ever seen him. Like he was actually purple in it. I'm sure someone has it.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

I spent my high school years in the Midwest, there were no keggers in barns. In the woods? Yes, a lot of them were. Maybe you were more farmland? The area Rick is from isn’t exactly farm heavy compared to Iowa, as an example.

Weird how many of us grew up in rural Midwestern areas. There were barn parties but more common was pulling our cars into a country lane on private property and getting drunk as a group. I’m sure even the lowest echelons of school rejects had their own versions of this, and I’m equally sure even they shunned Pat.

That said, if he didn’t turn into a full-blown alcoholic until his 30s, I’m impressed by how much damage he’s done to his body and life in such a short period of time. Guess that’s what passes for an accomplishment in his life.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Weird how many of us grew up in rural Midwestern areas. There were barn parties but more common was pulling our cars into a country lane on private property and getting drunk as a group. I’m sure even the lowest echelons of school rejects had their own versions of this, and I’m equally sure even they shunned Pat.

That said, if he didn’t turn into a full-blown alcoholic until his 30s, I’m impressed by how much damage he’s done to his body and life in such a short period of time. Guess that’s what passes for an accomplishment in his life.

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Yeah, for us, it was the woods, or basements. There was a couple of times I can remember something similar to what you brought up. Like I said, I’m familiar with Ricks area, I can’t imagine there were any barn parties.

He’s put the majority of that weight on since meeting us, at this point. Not that he didn’t get a good start on his own. After he reidentified himself as an alpha male with beta male hobbies, of course.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

He’s put the majority of that weight on since meeting us, at this point. Not that he didn’t get a good start on his own.

Agreed. And I can’t be the only one who noticed that after only seeing his faggy selfies for months, he appeared on the local news and looked exactly like one of the “greasy Pats” people put out. He was definitely not prepared for how he’d look at any perspective other than a MySpace angle. He packed on a good 40 pounds this summer, at least.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Like I said, I’m familiar with Ricks area, I can’t imagine there were any barn parties.

I think he really plays up his supposed hayseed childhood because he thinks it makes him some kind of Cinderella story. He is heavily invested in his self-image as a brilliant, progressive thinker who was constrained by the cruel yokels who ran the school system (not acknowledging that his mother was one of them). Just like he’s heavily invested in his sham identity as a “six-figure” author (Pat doesn’t know you don’t count the two figures after the decimal point). I really want him to write a memoir because it would be entertaining as hell.

 

[HotDogJoe]

That's the one. Holy fucking shit, I'd forgotten how bad that was. Look at the size of his goddam neck!

 

[Phish]

That's the one. Holy fucking shit, I'd forgotten how bad that was. Look at the size of his goddam neck!

“No you, child”

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

He just needs to take a picture of him standing on a scale. And he can't hang his stomach on a towel rack either.

Dan, that's definitely not a reference to anything, so you get off scot free on this one.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]