• This forum is dedicated exclusively to parody, comedy, and satirical content. None of the statements, opinions, or depictions shared on this platform should be considered or treated as factual information under any circumstances. All content is intended for entertainment purposes only and should be regarded as fictional, exaggerated, or purely the result of personal opinions and creative expression.

    Please be aware that this forum may feature discussions and content related to taboo, controversial, or potentially offensive subjects. The purpose of this content is not to incite harm but to engage in satire and explore the boundaries of humor. If you are sensitive to such subjects or are easily offended, we kindly advise that you leave the forum.

    Any similarities to real people, events, or situations are either coincidental or based on real-life inspirations but used within the context of fair use satire. By accepting this disclaimer, you acknowledge and understand that the content found within this forum is strictly meant for parody, satire, and entertainment. You agree not to hold the forum, its administrators, moderators, or users responsible for any content that may be perceived as offensive or inappropriate. You enter and participate in this forum at your own risk, with full awareness that everything on this platform is purely comedic, satirical, or opinion-based, and should never be taken as factual information.

    If any information or discussion on this platform triggers distressing emotions or thoughts, please leave immediately and consider seeking assistance.

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

anyone ever met mafia guys like the sopranos?

NewJersey.gov

imagine retaining your semen
One time I had to go be part of a focus group and the study was at a fancy building downtown with underground parking. When I was parking, this black benz pulls next to me, and out comes an obviously middle-aged Italian guy in an expensive suit and 1000 yard stare. Very clearly a mobster or just a shady character, easily could have been some hired goon or hitman.

I wonder if that building had a therapist's office and he had an appointment.
 

EraGodless

Yes. My best friend in elementary school's father runs a famous catering business that was used in Goodfellas (wedding scene) and the Sopranos (Johnny Sack's daughter's wedding). His dad would occasionally wear fur coats, those jogging suits, and carry wads of cash in a zip lock bag. He also collected Rolls Royce's. He was a great guy and they were really good to me-
 
Last edited:
I've worked in and around the NJ construction business, and I've met quite a few shadowy guys. "No work" guys, with Italian names, who had a fancy job title like "community relations coordinator". They would just sit in the trailer all day, reading the paper, flirting with the office girls and etc. Everyone knew what was up, but no one ever said anything. Stuff would get stolen sometimes, like a truck trailer full of plumbing fixtures or countertops would mysterious vanish one night. Cost of doing business. But nothing wild or dramatic ever happened, at least not that I ever saw.
 

RobertMewler

Not Italian but Russian. I was hanging out with my parents in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn and we got hungry so we walked into a random restaurant. It was super quiet and dimly lit and there were only a bunch of men in suits sitting around at tables and the bar. They all turned to look at us as we stood by the entrance.

A big lady came out from the back, approached us, and suspiciously asked in a thick accent, "You wish to eat?" We said yes and she sat us. It took her a while to come back with menus. We were uncomfortable and knew something was off about the place but we didn't really catch on that we were in a mob joint until after we left. We were the only 'customers' in the place.

The food was phenomenal though. My mom got a baked fish that was served with the head still attached which was creepy but she said it was the best fish she ever had.
 
G

guest

Guest
Not Italian but Russian. I was hanging out with my parents in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn and we got hungry so we walked into a random restaurant. It was super quiet and dimly lit and there were only a bunch of men in suits sitting around at tables and the bar. They all turned to look at us as we stood by the entrance.

A big lady came out from the back, approached us, and suspiciously asked in a thick accent, "You wish to eat?" We said yes and she sat us. It took her a while to come back with menus. We were uncomfortable and knew something was off about the place but we didn't really catch on that we were in a mob joint until after we left. We were the only 'customers' in the place.

The food was phenomenal though. My mom got a baked fish that was served with the head still attached which was creepy but she said it was the best fish she ever had.
Apparently it tastes better if you leave the head on or some shit, but I lose my fucking appetite when they do that.
 
G

guest

Guest
Not Italian but Russian. I was hanging out with my parents in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn and we got hungry so we walked into a random restaurant. It was super quiet and dimly lit and there were only a bunch of men in suits sitting around at tables and the bar. They all turned to look at us as we stood by the entrance.

A big lady came out from the back, approached us, and suspiciously asked in a thick accent, "You wish to eat?" We said yes and she sat us. It took her a while to come back with menus. We were uncomfortable and knew something was off about the place but we didn't really catch on that we were in a mob joint until after we left. We were the only 'customers' in the place.

The food was phenomenal though. My mom got a baked fish that was served with the head still attached which was creepy but she said it was the best fish she ever had.
I thought this was going to be Bert’s fake bit
 

'THE NIGGER MAN'

Shane Noakes' rabbi raped his 9 year old dick off.
Yeah.
Banana republic ex-president and some of his guys. Dinner at his villa that's a cross between a museum and library.

Great cook and incredible host.

Bulletproof suv and permanent bodyguard detail.

Still unbelievably popular there, kinda feel bad for him that he can't go out and do normal guy shit because of the fame.
 

LingerLonger

Still spreading the O&A virus
One of the largest waste management related mobsters lives in my neighborhood. Fucking goof is always making the news and attending sports events and public gatherings. He has been involved in a ton of missing persons and disappearances. His wife is a total psycho who would threaten the waitresses at the golf and tennis club if they didn't serve her drinks fast enough.
 

EraGodless

I'm a retard. For a second I was like why would an ex executive of Banana Republic need body guards and bulletproof vehicles?
Yeah.
Banana republic ex-president and some of his guys. Dinner at his villa that's a cross between a museum and library.

Great cook and incredible host.

Bulletproof suv and permanent bodyguard detail.

Still unbelievably popular there, kinda feel bad for him that he can't go out and do normal guy shit because of the fame
 
Top