Andy Espresso sat forlornly on his stool, staring at his gaming rig. He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumped defeatedly.
"Andy? What's wrong? You haven't even touched your fourteenth beer. Are you feeling OK?" inquired his muscular beard.
Andy sighed again. "I'm fine" he dejectedly lisped. "I'm just worried about Gav is all."
"Oh Andy, I'm sure Gavin will be fine. It was probably just a coke bust, or sedition maybe. He'll make bail."
"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" he girlishly squealed. "He's Canadian! What if they deport him? That'd mean no Greenville, no guy stuff, no...." he trailed off.
"What do you see in that weirdo anyway? He acts all queer all the time, his facial hair is ultra-faggy and he smells like shit. You have way better friends than Gavin. Why don't you call Jimmy and see how his sinus surgery went?"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO JIMMY, OK! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, BUNG CUNT ROT BITCH!" Andy angrily hissed. "God I hate her so much. I miss Gavin. I hope he's OK. If he does real time, once they find out how much he enjoys ass play..." Andy mused. A tear rolled down his pockmarked face. "Without my Gav, there's no point in moving to Greenville. There's no point in ANYTHING! Our chemistry...we were SO CLOSE! I KNOW that once we were alone in my clubhouse, we'd have...". Andy buried his face in his hands and sobbed, snot bubbling from his cocaine-ravaged old nostril.
"Christ Andy, get it together! Gavin is just a fruity retard anyhow. I mean, you still have me, right?"
"Yeah, great, just what I need...a useless, gross vagina. She's only making this worse". "Yeah, sure darling. Hey, maybe you could head down to the new house and, I dunno, buy some tablecloths or something. You know, spruce the place up."
"OK, maybe I will. But Andy, listen, I really don't want you playing with my shoes while I'm gone, OK?"
"I ONLY DID THAT THE ONE TIME!" he effeminately screeched. "JUST GO! JUST GO! I WANT TO BE ALONE!" he whimpered.