Almost shit myself a diary post about poo

[Dog Eater]

I was walking through the mall today when suddenly a powerful and rapidly growing urge to shit set in. I power walked to the nearest toilets and by the time I got to a cubicle I was sweating and squeezing my (very strong) glutes as tight as I could together. I got my pants and underwear down but by now the pressure was so great I was terrified to bend over so I tried doing it quickly. Unfortunately it sprayed a huge glob of semi liquid shit on the seat as I sat down. I realised this due to the warmth I felt on one of my buttocks where the shit had squished. Took me a solid 20 minutes to make sure I was empty and clean up as best I could. Got shit on my hand too.

 

[Hitler]

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Should have moved to the next stall right after the spray, pants down, shitty ass is a power move.

 

[DMbA]

I almost made it to the toilet and shat myself once, big bag of diarrhea poop in my pants, not good

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

The mall? Why are you a pedophile?

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Was walking home once on a work trip in Berlin. Met a colleague for a wonderful dinner of Turkish food and beer, and decided it would be fine to take a 45 minute stroll back to my hotel. Little did I know that about 20-25 minutes into the walk, I’d be overcome with the same feeling of a massive shit. I literally had to walk, stop and make a grrrr (like Steve C) sound and stand all stiff-legged for a few minutes like a retard before the feeling in my guts passed. I remember being 5 minutes from the hotel and actually having to call my mom like a Faggot and say “mom I’m alone in Berlin and I think I’m going to shit my pants. What should I do?” She just laughed at me the whole time and couldn’t even answer.


I made it home and barely got my pants off before plopping down and proceeding to paint the toilet a lovely shade of brown/yellow for about 20 minutes.



Edit: for extra gayness I was all panicked when I called my mom, too. What a FAGGOT!

 

[HH Brother]

Since we're trading uncontrolled bowel movements, here's my copy past from August, funsters.

"Been dealing with the flu for three days now, funsters. Was sitting on the bed with the wife chatting, I tried to squeeze a little fart out and it was all water and I left a small wet spot on the bed. Had to throw my underwearsters out.

Luckily, it didn’t ruin the bed and only was only a few inches in diameter. It took some time to clean my ass as it spackled my entire crack.

Now I’m scared to fart. Pray for me."

 

[Coonskin]

NYAT BAD!

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Was walking home once on a work trip in Berlin. Met a colleague for a wonderful dinner of Turkish food and beer, and decided it would be fine to take a 45 minute stroll back to my hotel. Little did I know that about 20-25 minutes into the walk, I’d be overcome with the same feeling of a massive shit. I literally had to walk, stop and make a grrrr (like Steve C) sound and stand all stiff-legged for a few minutes like a retard before the feeling in my guts passed. I remember being 5 minutes from the hotel and actually having to call my mom like a Faggot and say “mom I’m alone in Berlin and I think I’m going to shit my pants. What should I do?” She just laughed at me the whole time and couldn’t even answer.


I made it home and barely got my pants off before plopping down and proceeding to paint the toilet a lovely shade of brown/yellow for about 20 minutes.



Edit: for extra gayness I was all panicked when I called my mom, too. What a FAGGOT!

How accurate is this

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

How accurate is this

The grunting and growling is spot on but I had this weird thing where I’d lock up and just kind of pretend I was passing shit, but in fact I was just clenching so hard that I couldn’t move.

 

[Turk February]

WWAW shitting yourself

Let's say you're a 33 year old man, recently several months sober, and you just unexpectedly shit yourself in a mom and pop submarine sandwich parking lot. Is this a medical issue or a lifestyle choice? Should you address this problem with a professional, or own it? Thoughts?

new.onaforums.net

had to walk home a solid 15 minutes too in the freezing cold as the poop cooled

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Every single time I'm in a mall, without fail, I will have to urgently drop a shit at some point and frantically speedwalk to the bathroom.